What Is Life Without A Friend?

Feeling truly lonely. Sad, forgotten and alone. Not one person to talk to or to be with. No one to comfort me and to tell things will be ok. I just want to eat my feelings but I've done so well in losing 14lbs I don't want to gain them back. I quit drinking and going to the pubs and right now I can't remember why I quit, I at least got attention and could talk to others and share a giggle. I day dream of having a friend to share things with and more importantly, someone who thinks enough of me to share their things with.

Awesome losing weight. Many of us can relate to that, myself included. Maybe you can still go to pubs, but not drink. Although I do understand that the temptation alone could make you fall back into the creek. I chew gum when I feel like I want to eat but know I shouldn't. Or water. Drinking water can help as well. And you can always express yourself and get out your feelings on this forum.

For me it's a bit like suspended animation

It makes my life empty. Something is missing and then I will lose myself.

That's how I feel about it.

change your thinking, start to enjoy your own company. Friends can let you down or disappear.
Although everybody needs conversation and company for some of the time.
If I was lonely (I'm not) I would do charity work. As much as I can. Help others out. Less fortunate.

VanillaCreme said:

Awesome losing weight. Many of us can relate to that, myself included. Maybe you can still go to pubs, but not drink. Although I do understand that the temptation alone could make you fall back into the creek. I chew gum when I feel like I want to eat but know I shouldn't. Or water. Drinking water can help as well. And you can always express yourself and get out your feelings on this forum.

Click to expand...

I only stopped drinking because I couldn't afford to anymore. Not because I'm an alcoholic. I drink plenty of water in the day, always have. How I've lost weight is just changing my diet, I eat healthy. So I don't starve myself and deny myself food.

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Triple Bogey said:

change your thinking, start to enjoy your own company. Friends can let you down or disappear.
Although everybody needs conversation and company for some of the time.
If I was lonely (I'm not) I would do charity work. As much as I can. Help others out. Less fortunate.

Click to expand...

Why are you on this site if as you say you're not lonely? If you are not lonely, than I'm sorry...you're in no position to be giving advice to those who are. Change your thinking? Seriously? "If I was lonely"...how condescending...how do you know I don't enjoy my own company? You don't know me at all.

Eireann13 said:

VanillaCreme said:

Awesome losing weight. Many of us can relate to that, myself included. Maybe you can still go to pubs, but not drink. Although I do understand that the temptation alone could make you fall back into the creek. I chew gum when I feel like I want to eat but know I shouldn't. Or water. Drinking water can help as well. And you can always express yourself and get out your feelings on this forum.

Click to expand...

I only stopped drinking because I couldn't afford to anymore. Not because I'm an alcoholic. I drink plenty of water in the day, always have. How I've lost weight is just changing my diet, I eat healthy. So I don't starve myself and deny myself food.

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Triple Bogey said:

change your thinking, start to enjoy your own company. Friends can let you down or disappear.
Although everybody needs conversation and company for some of the time.
If I was lonely (I'm not) I would do charity work. As much as I can. Help others out. Less fortunate.

Click to expand...

Why are you on this site if as you say you're not lonely? If you are not lonely, than I'm sorry...you're in no position to be giving advice to those who are. Change your thinking? Seriously? "If I was lonely"...how condescending...how do you know I don't enjoy my own company? You don't know me at all.

Click to expand...

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Few things... I like drinking myself... I don't drink nearly as much as I used to... I found myself drinking more & more & realized I used it as a clutch on my bad days... I wanted it to be a source of an enjoyment, not a clutch to used to get out of shitty feelings... I don't see anybody accusing you of being an alcoholic...

Second, I don't think Triple Bogey meant to sound condescending... To be honest, you do sound like you don't enjoy your own company by your original post... Though I don't claim to know how you're feeling on a day to day basis, your comment "Feeling truly lonely. Sad, forgotten and alone. Not one person to talk to or to be with. No one to comfort me and to tell things will be ok." does imply to some degree about your state of mind... Everyone who made a comment seems to be making an effort to help you at least feel better, not to attack you or sound "condescending"...

And I for one don't really feel lonely most of the times... Most of the times, I actually like & prefer being alone... There are times when I do feel like I could use some company... I think that's true in most cases for a lot of people... There could be a lot of reasons why a person could be here... I like the option of being able to just walk away from the conversation if I choose to without all the drama that comes along with having to go through a ritual of being polite in person... Don't get me wrong... I won't go out of my way to be an *******, there is such a thing called common courtesy... But being on a forum like this makes it easier for people like myself to limit my interaction with people...

Third... I don't think a person can truly know someone... Or at least it's a very rare thing... Problem here is, people are trying to help with a very little & limited information that you provide... You're right... I don't know you & Triple Bogey doesn't know you either... But then you don't know me or him either... Without really knowing someone, I don't think it's right in saying he was trying to be condescending... Ok... It's entirely possible that it came across that way, depending on your mood at the time... That's understandable... But try to remember that everyone here, for the most part, are trying to help... I don't think anybody here will go out of their way to treat someone shitty, especially for someone who made it sound like she was going through some rough time...

I'm not here to pick a fight & I'm not trying to pick on you or defend anyone... I'm just saying, it sounded little harsh, though at time it may be understandable... I really hope you feel better & I wish you can find your way to finding someone who can truly understand what you're going through...

[/quote]

Few things... I like drinking myself... I don't drink nearly as much as I used to... I found myself drinking more & more & realized I used it as a clutch on my bad days... I wanted it to be a source of an enjoyment, not a clutch to used to get out of shitty feelings... I don't see anybody accusing you of being an alcoholic...

Second, I don't think Triple Bogey meant to sound condescending... To be honest, you do sound like you don't enjoy your own company by your original post... Though I don't claim to know how you're feeling on a day to day basis, your comment "Feeling truly lonely. Sad, forgotten and alone. Not one person to talk to or to be with. No one to comfort me and to tell things will be ok." does imply to some degree about your state of mind... Everyone who made a comment seems to be making an effort to help you at least feel better, not to attack you or sound "condescending"...

And I for one don't really feel lonely most of the times... Most of the times, I actually like & prefer being alone... There are times when I do feel like I could use some company... I think that's true in most cases for a lot of people... There could be a lot of reasons why a person could be here... I like the option of being able to just walk away from the conversation if I choose to without all the drama that comes along with having to go through a ritual of being polite in person... Don't get me wrong... I won't go out of my way to be an *******, there is such a thing called common courtesy... But being on a forum like this makes it easier for people like myself to limit my interaction with people...

Third... I don't think a person can truly know someone... Or at least it's a very rare thing... Problem here is, people are trying to help with a very little & limited information that you provide... You're right... I don't know you & Triple Bogey doesn't know you either... But then you don't know me or him either... Without really knowing someone, I don't think it's right in saying he was trying to be condescending... Ok... It's entirely possible that it came across that way, depending on your mood at the time... That's understandable... But try to remember that everyone here, for the most part, are trying to help... I don't think anybody here will go out of their way to treat someone shitty, especially for someone who made it sound like she was going through some rough time...

I'm not here to pick a fight & I'm not trying to pick on you or defend anyone... I'm just saying, it sounded little harsh, though at time it may be understandable... I really hope you feel better & I wish you can find your way to finding someone who can truly understand what you're going through...
[/quote]

WOW for someone who claims to not want to pick a fight you certainly said a lot of things that would come across as hurtful. You don't know me at all, you think you have me figured out by a few sentences? For someone who wrote a lot it certainly was a lot of bullshit. Were these comments addressed to you, were they meant for you? Does this involve you? No, so stop interfering. You certainly didn't help the situation at all. You have no idea where my thoughts were coming from, good or bad...if that person it's addressed to has issues with it, they can come to me themselves...I'm sure they don't someone to jump to their rescue. I think personally you're full of hot air. But thanks for the belittling lesson on how to behave. I'm done engaging on this thread.

Um, I hate to point this out to you, but you posted a thread on an open forum. That generally gives people the right to "interfere," as you call it. I think you're making too much of what is being said.

As to other people posting in regards to what other people have said, they are only trying to help....

It's better to be yourself and have no friends, than it is to be like your friends and have no self. =/

Having no friends can be a painful life.

What did you exactly expect to accomplish by posting here in this forum if you didn't want any type of inputs from others, or as you put it, "interference"? You put your "feelings" on public & pissed off when people react to it? That's a bit odd, don't you think? Did you expect everybody to tell you it'll be ok? As you mentioned in your original post? What were your expectations? But then I'm sure you really don't wanna hear what I have to say so I'll leave you alone... Sorry I interfered in your time of feeling lonely...

Eireann13 said:

VanillaCreme said:

Awesome losing weight. Many of us can relate to that, myself included. Maybe you can still go to pubs, but not drink. Although I do understand that the temptation alone could make you fall back into the creek. I chew gum when I feel like I want to eat but know I shouldn't. Or water. Drinking water can help as well. And you can always express yourself and get out your feelings on this forum.

Click to expand...

I only stopped drinking because I couldn't afford to anymore. Not because I'm an alcoholic. I drink plenty of water in the day, always have. How I've lost weight is just changing my diet, I eat healthy. So I don't starve myself and deny myself food.

Click to expand...

I apologize if you thought I was insinuating that you were an alcoholic. Falling back into an old habit of spending too much in a bar can be just as bad as being drunk too often.

I think of the actors in my movies as my friends. They are very predictable and can never seem to be a jerk to me.

Eireann13 said:

Feeling truly lonely. Sad, forgotten and alone. Not one person to talk to or to be with. No one to comfort me and to tell things will be ok. I just want to eat my feelings but I've done so well in losing 14lbs I don't want to gain them back. I quit drinking and going to the pubs and right now I can't remember why I quit, I at least got attention and could talk to others and share a giggle. I day dream of having a friend to share things with and more importantly, someone who thinks enough of me to share their things with.

Click to expand...

I think a friend is someone you could have a connection with. I was discussing the meaning of a real friend with someone from here the other day. It made me realise I have one 1 friend in real life whom I know I could count on.. who'd still talk to me even if we had nothing to talk about or do together. I have made a few other good friends from this forum though, and they're also friends I know who will be there for me and still want to talk to me even if we have nothing to talk about or things to do together.

Hopefully you can make some good friends from here too, and be able to share things with who won't judge you and want to be your friend for how you are. Good luck!

Right there, Triple Bogey

Life can be a bore with no friends (I have none), but it also gives you the opportunity to enjoy yourself alone. Nothing inherently bad about this.

I'd say that I like some conversation every once in a while, but as a rule I'm alone most of the time. I don't think we can expect to have many "friends " in this life. Colleagues, acquaintances, ok, but real friends? A very, very hard thing to find...

All in all, what I know is that one good thing we can do is find (online or offline) people who like the same things we do. Some decent conversation can happen then. And, who knows, maybe even some actual friendship.

Hope this helps.

Although I can see that TripleBogey has a point about enjoying your own company and saying that friends can disappear, at the same time one's own company can wear thin after a while. Most of us need connections with other people. I hope, OP, that you don't give up on looking for friends. As FLP2014 says, it can be very hard to find a true friend, but it is good to keep looking.
Even though friends can disappear, this is no reason not to look for friends. Some people are in our lives for decades and others for months, but each interaction can bring its own riches.

didn't mean to cause a fuss
no offense was meant

Outcast said:

It's better to be yourself and have no friends, than it is to be like your friends and have no self. =/

Having no friends can be a painful life.

Click to expand...

You can also create your own friend, isn't that right...Tyler..?
And just so you know...
I am Jack's smirking revenge..

Triple Bogey said:

didn't mean to cause a fuss
no offense was meant

Click to expand...

and who was offended by your post?

if i may ask