Time running out on finding the one?

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edamame721

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So I just turned a milestone age not too long ago and now, I'm starting to feel the clock. My parents are telling me the pickings get slimmer as you age and my familial relationships and friendships are growing more distant naturally. I'm picturing 5 years down the line with some fear.

Has anyone here found love late in life?

I'm feeling very down. I'm still working on myself to become a better person. I wonder if I can still be called a late bloomer...
 
I'm still (relatively?) young, but I imagine there are still pickings in the 30's, 40's, and 50's onward. Many people will have had serious relationships or a marriage before, is all, but the first one they chose won't necessarily last and they'll look for someone who's a better match or just plain better to them.

There are also people who had severe shyness or other life circumstances that kept them from pairing off when they were younger. I've seen a couple of those.

My father managed to remarry in his 50's, and my sister in her 30's.
 
Ummm... Topic of age differences came up few times so I've responded... So I guess I'll say it again here, too... I've dated a woman who was 28 years older than I was... Just to put that in perspective, her youngest daughter was 2 years older than I was... Apparently, people still get together in their late 50's... So yeah, there's still a hope for ya, lol...
 
I am mid fifties and am still hoping. Yes,the pickings get leaner and it gets harder to find someone, but don't give up. People in nursing homes in their 80's find love.
 
I do not believe there's a limit when you could meet someone like that, I find that rubbish in fact. People can meet anyone at any time, there is no time limit. Believing this would only set yourself limits.
 
edamame721 said:
So I just turned a milestone age not too long ago and now, I'm starting to feel the clock. My parents are telling me the pickings get slimmer as you age and my familial relationships and friendships are growing more distant naturally. I'm picturing 5 years down the line with some fear.

Has anyone here found love late in life?

I'm feeling very down. I'm still working on myself to become a better person. I wonder if I can still be called a late bloomer...

First, your answer is yes, it's definitely possible.

You did not describe age or sex, so I assume female after 30. Well I can assure you that this type of woman is for not so small % of man most attractive. Ever.

The question is rather "how" are you working in yourself? You need to give yourself good social opportunities, that means no bars and clubs (you meet only one-night-stand dandies there) but quality social meetings, like company cocktails, charity events, art expositions etc. But I'm sure you can handle this by yourself.

Second, regret to day, but the no. 1 issue on woman is look, so, gym, aerobic, zumba etc.

As I said you wrote nothing about yourself so I am just guessing and stating obvious facts. And yes, I know of people who lived 11 years alone and than found The One. You must not become bitter or stressed about it. That is the worst you can do. Everyone runs off from such people...
 
Peter.EU said:
stating obvious facts. And yes, I know of people who lived 11 years alone and than found The One. You must not become bitter or stressed about it. That is the worst you can do. Everyone runs off from such people...

Find the one after 11 years? only 6 more to go then… :D
Generally speaking, it is difficult not to become bitter, but you are right, that seals the deal with loneliness, much better to keep hope going.. How? I am not sure, from crazy things such as writing prayers to the full moon to emptying half of your closet to make space for your future lover, keeping your love muscle trained (or your heart open) by loving animals, children or whatever comes into one's life.

This was a nice article about late bloomers http://www.refinery29.com/2013/07/50115/famous-late-bloomers#slide

http://www.laterbloomer.com/late-bloomers-1

but maybe you meant late bloomer in the sense of relationships?
 
I'm still looking, feels like I've been alone forever now. Last proper relationship I had ended the day before 9/11, I've pretty much been alone ever since. Been living alone for the last 10 years too. Even on the very odd occasions I have managed to get with someone they were either just using me or, well, they were all using me.

You have to keep hoping, but I've got to be honest, I'm starting to get really bitter and I hate myself for it.
 
I don't even try to find love any more. Nobody is ever interested in a fat pig like me with no job and no money. People often say I look fine - Funny how those people are always in a relationship or live in another country! No single woman would dare compliment me just in case I asked to meet them. Not that I would meet them, as then they'd find out how pathetic my life is and would run a mile. People say, "I'm sure there's someone out there for you". Yea, right, they've been saying that for years. So I just don't bother looking any more and know I'll be alone for the rest of my life. I can't even find local friends less than 60 years old for goodness sake.
 
Zackarydoo said:
I don't even try to find love any more. Nobody is ever interested in a fat pig like me with no job and no money. People often say I look fine - Funny how those people are always in a relationship or live in another country! No single woman would dare compliment me just in case I asked to meet them. Not that I would meet them, as then they'd find out how pathetic my life is and would run a mile. People say, "I'm sure there's someone out there for you". Yea, right, they've been saying that for years. So I just don't bother looking any more and know I'll be alone for the rest of my life. I can't even find local friends less than 60 years old for goodness sake.

that's all fine but you shouldn't give up on life.
What about losing some weight ?
Finding work ?
Earning some cash and spending it on yourself.
There is so much to do and so much to see !
 
Triple Bogey said:
Zackarydoo said:
I don't even try to find love any more. Nobody is ever interested in a fat pig like me with no job and no money. People often say I look fine - Funny how those people are always in a relationship or live in another country! No single woman would dare compliment me just in case I asked to meet them. Not that I would meet them, as then they'd find out how pathetic my life is and would run a mile. People say, "I'm sure there's someone out there for you". Yea, right, they've been saying that for years. So I just don't bother looking any more and know I'll be alone for the rest of my life. I can't even find local friends less than 60 years old for goodness sake.

that's all fine but you shouldn't give up on life.
What about losing some weight ?
Finding work ?
Earning some cash and spending it on yourself.
There is so much to do and so much to see !

You make it sound so simple. Don't you think I try every day to lose weight and that most my life is spent thinking about how to get a job and earn money? I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but it's very irritating when I talk about my problems and people suggest I do the obvious, as if I wouldn't think of those things. We don't all find life so simple I'm afraid.
 
Zacharydoo, life can be so hard and discouraging at times that it can seem like a never-ending battle instead of the great gift it really is, and I'm sure Triple Bogey meant only the best for you in trying to help you think of things that, if you could possibly see your way clear to do some of them, would help bring you a happier life.

Make every step you take, a step "up". Do something every day, however small it might seem, that will move you forward in the direction of your goals.

If you just aim for progress, not perfection, I think soon things will start snowballing -- the more progress you make (even if it seems very small to you to start out with!) - the more you'll want to make.


edamame721 said:
So I just turned a milestone age not too long ago and now, I'm starting to feel the clock. My parents are telling me the pickings get slimmer as you age and my familial relationships and friendships are growing more distant naturally. I'm picturing 5 years down the line with some fear.

Has anyone here found love late in life?

I'm feeling very down. I'm still working on myself to become a better person. I wonder if I can still be called a late bloomer...

Edamame721, I'm sorry you've been feeling down and I hope you're feeling much better now.

From my little limited observations in life so far with the people I know and know of, love can happen to anyone, at any age, at any time! I've known of older people in their 70s who found each other and are as happy together as teenagers! Please don't get discouraged at all! Just relax and enjoy life and enjoy new friendships and exchanges! Do something nice for someone else, something simple and positive, send a card, phone someone to say you're thinking of them, just anything! Be open to meeting new people! Be rich in your friends!

We never know what is around the next corner, and oh what a difference a day can make! <3
 
Ruthie said:
Zacharydoo, life can be so hard and discouraging at times that it can seem like a never-ending battle instead of the great gift it really is, and I'm sure Triple Bogey meant only the best for you in trying to help you think of things that, if you could possibly see your way clear to do some of them, would help bring you a happier life.

Make every step you take, a step "up". Do something every day, however small it might seem, that will move you forward in the direction of your goals.

If you just aim for progress, not perfection, I think soon things will start snowballing -- the more progress you make (even if it seems very small to you to start out with!) - the more you'll want to make.

Hi Ruthie, thanks for that. I understand he was trying to help and I didn't mean to have a go, but it is just frustrating for the reasons I said before. I hope you understand my point.

You're right with much of what you write, and I do actually try quite hard to improve my life. Over the last 3 years I've lost about 5 stone in weight, plus the distance I walk has increased a lot and I usually walk more than 4 miles a day for exercise. I'm always working on my photography in an atempt to earn a bit of money. So I'm trying, but it isn't easy and often I get on a downward slope that's hard to snap out of. One of the worse things is having barely any friends to talk to, and no local friends at all.
 
Zackarydoo said:
Hi Ruthie, thanks for that. I understand he was trying to help and I didn't mean to have a go, but it is just frustrating for the reasons I said before. I hope you understand my point.

You're right with much of what you write, and I do actually try quite hard to improve my life. Over the last 3 years I've lost about 5 stone in weight, plus the distance I walk has increased a lot and I usually walk more than 4 miles a day for exercise. I'm always working on my photography in an atempt to earn a bit of money. So I'm trying, but it isn't easy and often I get on a downward slope that's hard to snap out of. One of the worse things is having barely any friends to talk to, and no local friends at all.

Of course I understand, Zackary. Congratulations so much on losing the 5 stone, and on your walking! That is fantastic! And your photography sounds great.
Those downward slopes can be awful, and we all need a support system of loyal friends who care about us when we think we're sliding downward and to help pull us out if we've managed to allow ourselves to go too far.

I know what you mean, too, about hardly any friends to talk to and no local ones. Yet another reason why this forum is so great!

Bigtime congrats on your weight loss, Zackary!
 
Ruthie said:
Of course I understand, Zackary. Congratulations so much on losing the 5 stone, and on your walking! That is fantastic! And your photography sounds great.
Those downward slopes can be awful, and we all need a support system of loyal friends who care about us when we think we're sliding downward and to help pull us out if we've managed to allow ourselves to go too far.

I know what you mean, too, about hardly any friends to talk to and no local ones. Yet another reason why this forum is so great!

Bigtime congrats on your weight loss, Zackary!

Thank you Ruthis for being understanding and for the congratulations on my weight loss. :)
 
I'm 57, and if I meet someone, I meet someone. If I happen to meet someone then I do. I rather be alone and happy than to settle for someone and be unhappy.
 
edamame721 said:
Has anyone here found love late in life?

I recently met one of my friend's uncles. He is in his 60s, is a Vietnam vet, and has always been a hard man to deal with. Then, he met a woman who is also in her 60s, and my friend's uncle is so much in love with this woman that he has turned into a softy. They are such a lovely pair, and it was great seeing how much they love each other.

I told them that if they can find each other and be so much in love, it gives me a massive amount of hope for myself.
 

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