Agoraphobes - Let's Talk

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AmeNoKo

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Just looking to chat with fellow agoraphobes in this thread. Whether you've got it downright bad, or just passing flashes, feel free to talk in here. I'd like to meet more people who have this.

For me, I developed agoraphobia very badly after becoming aware of how much I'd screwed up my life around the time I was 21. I self-destructed for a while after I'd realized how far short I'd fallen in my dreams and hopes, and this built into what has been years of reclusive living. I am now 24.

Some things about me and my agoraphobia:

-I'm "room-bound." I still live with my mother and am very embarrassed about that, and can hardly even look at her anymore, let alone other people.
-I purposefully chose an overnight job so that I don't have to talk to people. I'm a street sweeper, so I have zero interaction with others.
-I am a college student, but all my courses are Online.
-I have a very hard time communicating with anyone anymore. I used to be very outspoken, but now I can hardly manage a Yes or No without doing something awkward, like touching my neck or nervous chuckling.
-I can't remember the last time I made eye contact with someone.
-I'm not a 'hoarder-lite' anymore, but alike many I tried to fill my room up with things I loved for a while to feel better. For me this was videogames, but I've since managed to remove most of this and am trying very hard to cut back on gaming even more.

It is not enjoyable living like this, and at this point I am trying very hard to break it. I just don't like being in this cramped darkness anymore.


So how about you?
 
I went through a time when I was scared to go outside of the house, and to fight this I made myself walk downtown and back every day as otherwise I knew that I would end up being trapped in the house completely by fear. I remember being really scared and worried when I was outside, but I kept on forcing myself to go out and in the end the fear eventually dwindled.
It sounds as though your life is very restricted and I would recomend to you to take it one thing at a time. Don't feel that you have to change everything all at once. Maybe choose one thing from your list and work on it.
For example, if you decide to change the way you study, you could do some courses online and take others at a local college. Maybe a couple of hours a week at first at college till you feel comfortable with this, and then gradually switch more and more courses from online to a local college.
 
i'm afraid to leave my house. And that fear is what gets me to go outside. Sometimes. I sometimes vomit with nerves before i go outside. Like shopping for food. The longer i stay indoors the harder it is to go outside. So i try to get out often to combat my fear of the outside world.

This fear started to develop in the mid 90s.
 

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