I am Fat and Unattractive.

Or, at least, I feel that way.

My suspicions are always confirmed when I see them out. The long tresses, the immaculately applied makeup, the long, thin legs, the perfect smiles.

And then there's me. 140 kilograms, waddling beside them like a fat duck after a pub crawl.

I've been battling my weight for a long time. A long, long time. And each time, I lose. And I have to start again.

And my suspicions are always confirmed when I post my selfie in Facebook groups. I choose my best one. 9 likes. Girl 2, more womanly, more feminine, slimmer, BETTER - gets 208 motherfucking likes.

And large part of me dies that instant.

Knowing I don't catch peoples' eyes.

That I am as grey and as ghastly as I believe myself to be.

A shadowy figure in the background, heavyset, that is never noticed.

The first thing you need to do is stop comparing yourself to others. It never does anything productive and only serves to depress you more than you are. What those people have is something that you can have as well, if you want it. But, you have to be prepared to do the hard work that it will take to get there.
Another thing you need to do is stop putting yourself down, stop insulting yourself. It will accomplish nothing, except to make you give up. If you don't like how you look, use it as motivation to change that. Force yourself to do it until you get in the habit of doing it and enjoying it. Find some kind of exercise that you can enjoy, so it doesn't feel like work. And if you don't feel you can do it on your own, find a personal trainer. It doesn't have to be one at a gym, perhaps a friend that exercises regularly can help you out and keep you on track. Set small goals for yourself, so you can reach them and work your way up to larger goals. But always make them attainable.

You are NOT grey and ghastly. You may come across that way because of how you feel about yourself, but you're not. Change how you think about yourself and then you can change yourself.

Being overweight sucks. I gained lots of weight back when I first got sick about 10 years ago. I gained 100 pounds and felt just as bad as you do now. It's okay to feel sorry for yourself for a while, as long as you don't fall into a comfortable rut. The advice I'm giving you is that you need to take steps to get in shape. It's a challenge, but it can be done. I lost 100 pounds but it took over a year for me to get my shape back. I would advise not to go on social networking sites to compare yourself, as Callie said. It's defeatist and will continually allow you to justify your misery.

I started by walking and cutting out alcohol and sugar. When I lost the first 30 pounds, I then joined a gym and went EVERY day. I also changed my diet completely over that time to make sure I stopped processed foods. I drink wine now and have the occasional sugary sweet thing, but my life is so much better now that I don't want to use alcohol and food to comfort me. A lot of people who lose the weight gain it all back because they go back into old habits. Those bad habits need to change permanently. You can do it if you commit to it, and realize it won't happen overnight. You'll feel very proud of yourself.

If you want to look a certain way, for whatever reason, you are the only one who can make that happen.

So, if I got this right, you have trouble keeping your weight off, and you feel unattractive. From what you told me, it sounds like you feel unhappy.

What do you think posting your pic in these places is doing for/to you?

^Totally what Callie and Pike said. You could use these emotions you feel to push yourself to work on it. I know it helped me some and I am still quite determined to continue on this journey.

Why is it that you have to restart again each time you lose some weight?

I typically get 0-2 likes on my Facebook stuff, whether it be comments or photos, don't judge your beauty by something as superficial as Facebook.

Plus, there's more guys into big women than women into big men, just throwing that out there.

thewillowtree said:

Or, at least, I feel that way.

My suspicions are always confirmed when I see them out. The long tresses, the immaculately applied makeup, the long, thin legs, the perfect smiles.

And then there's me. 140 kilograms, waddling beside them like a fat duck after a pub crawl.

I've been battling my weight for a long time. A long, long time. And each time, I lose. And I have to start again.

And my suspicions are always confirmed when I post my selfie in Facebook groups. I choose my best one. 9 likes. Girl 2, more womanly, more feminine, slimmer, BETTER - gets 208 motherfucking likes.

And large part of me dies that instant.

Knowing I don't catch peoples' eyes.

That I am as grey and as ghastly as I believe myself to be.

A shadowy figure in the background, heavyset, that is never noticed.

Click to expand...

Forget about facebook, it's shite. Maybe that woman who got 208 likes has thousands of friends.

Don't give up on your appearance and become a slob. Keep working on your weight. Small gains. Wear nice clothes that suit you. Smile. Work on your personality. Be happy. Be interested in people. Listen to them.

People will notice you then !

---

SarcasticJuan said:

I typically get 0-2 likes on my Facebook stuff, whether it be comments or photos, don't judge your beauty by something as superficial as Facebook.

Plus, there's more guys into big women than women into big men, just throwing that out there.

Click to expand...

True, good point.

I get likes for my photo's.
I am too ugly to even show myself on facebook. That is never going to happen ever.

[youtube]yDSK91mUNLU[/youtube]

that video was adorable

I'm fat and unattractive, too. Doesn't mean anything. Once you get over how you think people think of you, you'll learn that the people who do genuinely like you, like you for you. Enjoy yourself and life.

Punisher said:

[youtube]yDSK91mUNLU[/youtube]

Click to expand...

I raise you this.
[video=youtube]

Find a skinny person who likes some extra weight or doesnt care then People shouldnt really care about that stuff.

I could give you some canned advice about how "it's what's on the inside that counts" and leave it at that. However that statement is true, and hopefully with age you will realize it is. Who you are as a person is what will matter to people who should matter to you...sounds confusing I know. What I'm saying is, should you really care about people who are willing to judge you in an instant based on what you look like? Shouldn't you value the opinions of those who engage you no preconceived notions and take the time to get to know you for who you are? People who are willing to dismiss what a kind, intelligent person who has a lot to offer the world because you look a certain way aren't worth your time even if your appearance fit their standard of beauty. Everyone has a different opinion on what beauty is, there is someone for everyone. Wether one can find that someone, well that's a different story...trust me I know.

For the most part it sounds like the person hardest on you is you. Don't be, there is someone somewhere, or even many someone's who would think you are beautiful. Being overweight doesn't mean being ugly, in my opinion some of the most attractive women I've ever seen have been "plus size" or even what society would call fat. I'm not going to tell you to change to become more attractive to more members of the opposite sex, instead only change if it makes you feel more like yourself, more comfortable in your own skin.

Being fat doesn't necessarily make you unattractive... it can be quite nice. I find women attractive whether they only have a small amount of fat or whether they are really fat. Contrary to popular belief I even find women attractive if they are muscular.

Some fat is also important. I've never understood why there is this silly craze for women to look like a skeleton. I don't find skeletons attractive.

Weight is also something that can change so it's not even a factor for me. I like people for what's inside (and anybody decent will too).

You don't have to do things just because other people do it. If some people post attention-seeking pictures deliberately to get likes, you can just think you're above that and that you post more intelligent stuff.

You should try the weight loss guides too like this one. There's nothing you can't do if you put the effort in. I'm a very crazy person, so if I overhaul my diet, I plan it out and start the new diet immediately in a way that most have difficulty doing.

Exercising isn't as painful or difficult as some people make out either.

YouTube some exercises you can do.

Being overweight doesn't make you unattractive. I bet you have a really good-looking face. Plus, I've noticed people mostly go for an awesome personality. So don't be so hard on yourself. I bet you're really beautiful.

My ex was fat. She is still a celebrity on facebook. You do have the odd skinny models with 200 likes but look I would be happy with 4-10 that'll do lol.

Personally,and,from the view as a Man,plus size Girls win it hands down for me everytime . Plus size Girls are sexy and attractive . Don't think of yourself as fat and unattractive ,think of yourself as curvy and sexy .

thewillowtree, I think that getting likes on selfies have a lot to do with the number of friends and how sociable one is. I post things on fb and sometimes they don't get any likes, but one of my friends will post a mundane thought and will get about 100 likes. My selfies hardly get any likes, too, but I don't think it reflects my appearance, I just think that more outgoing people tend to get more likes.
It's hard, but I try to accept that. Comparing yourself to others will not lead to any good, I think.

Jade said:

thewillowtree, I think that getting likes on selfies have a lot to do with the number of friends and how sociable one is. I post things on fb and sometimes they don't get any likes, but one of my friends will post a mundane thought and will get about 100 likes. My selfies hardly get any likes, too, but I don't think it reflects my appearance, I just think that more outgoing people tend to get more likes.
It's hard, but I try to accept that. Comparing yourself to others will not lead to any good, I think.

Click to expand...

'likes' on FB aren't that important. All depends on how many friends you have. I have 38, some people I know have over a thousand. They will get more 'likes' than me.

NO GIRLS HOT WOMAN PREFER OVERWEIGHT GUYS TO SKINNY.... SORRY