Absolute Loneliness

Is anyone else completely and totally alone from anyone tangible?

I spend most days sitting at home on my bed thinking thoughtful thinks. And when I say thoughtful thinks I mean horrible self talk, and it makes me feel terrible.
My mother booted me out of her house when I was younger, and my dad is not exactly excited to have me around. He isn't home most of the time though, and when he gets home he goes to bed.

So from sun up to down I'm on my own. No friends to hang out with or anyone to text or call. It eats away at me.

I get a knot in my chest and then I come on here. I scan around the threads, the shoutbox, etcetera. I get pretty intimidated by all the people so I normally just watch the screen for 30 minutes and then turn my phone off and do something else.

It all piles up and this total nothingness is so terribly heavy. One of the real mental struggles I have about it is getting outside and even trying to meet people. A crowd of people will put me into an anxiety-filled mental downward spiral that will probably end with me going home and crying about how ******* atrocious I am with talking to people.

Does anyone else feel this way?

A lot of people feel that way, for various reasons, many for the same reasons as yourself.

It does sound like anxiety and it's not surprising that you have anxiety considering what your mother did and how your father treats you. Often we're born into imperfect families (parents breaking up), but sometimes it's even worse and parents don't even show you love.

It's really hard when you don't have the support of your own parents, but if they don't care then you need to be brave and try to get by without them and ideally find a job, move out and if they make you feel bad, cut contact with them. You can be anything you want and achieve anything you want to and nothing should get in the way of that.

Since your anxiety is going to be a challenge this may be a good website for you to talk to people about it and how to overcome it.

You could also look for and contact charities that help with this sort of situation, such as: http://www.adaa.org/

I know everyone says this but man go outside for a walk somewhere where no one is around. Fresh air really helps to clear your head makes it easier to think too. I agree with the above poster try applying for a job, once you have a little money put it towards something. Having goals you can work towards makes life worth living..no one else's goal but yours.

Fight your way out of it as it's only something you can overcome.

I'm in a very similar situation. I find myself sitting on my bed all day without achieving much.

All I can say for now is you ain't the only one, and I hope things get better for you.

If you wanna chat more, PM me.

Hey Doc, I think you're pretty close to my age. Why don't you join our group? We're all around the age of 20-25. We usually talk all evening. Send me a pm if you're interested!

Next time join the forum chat There are very nice people there. I was also intimidated a bit the first time I came to the site.

Tip: take small steps.

If it does make you feel better, if you need someone to talk to, you can start with me. ^^

Looking forward to hearing from you again, be it on the forum or on the forum chat. See you!

^See, Doc.

Firstly, I just want to say I am really proud of you. *hugs*

Secondly, I, too, face anxiety when meeting people. However my life happens so where I tend to be forced to meet and talk to people. My dad used to give me a whole brain of his mind when I clammed up in front of people. Sometimes he would mock me jokingly but it hurt cos he didn't understand how bad it was for me. But usually he'd end up scolding me until I just have to force myself.

So I don't really have solutions but some of our lovely members above have some tips for you, I hope they help some. And just as Wayfarer said above, and I have said this before to you too, take small steps, one at a time, otherwise it might be a bit overwhelming for you. You know I always wish you the best and hope things get better for you.

I feel overwhelmed (in a good way) from all of your responses. I'm very grateful to have found this place and I feel immensely better about all of this already.

I'm not good at responding to groups so I will just say that I have read everyone's advice and will gladly take y'all up on chatting with you. This place seems friendly. Thank y'all so much.

Yes, OP, I understand. I'm constantly by myself, at home all day.. I have no friends and nobody seems attracted to me. I will spend most of my time on the internet, just loathing everybody else, trolling or expressing my disdain for society and writing about my misanthropic views. Society is at fault, blame them. Im perfect in everyway, I'm sophisticated, well mannered, I have so much to talk about but yet people, these vacuous and bumptious sybarite dogs don't see it. I dropped out of highschool because I couldn't bear to be around these peracute-trend following conformists and carcinogenic douchebags.