Loneliness

I live a very reclusive and solitary life, I never socialise because I view society as a disease that people are standing idly by just watching. Because of that I wish to utterly kill and torture every person I deem worthy of punishment!

Furthermore, I'm in college and see these beautiful Girls and Boys (I'm bisexual)
But I can't speak to them, they should be speaking to me! I'm perfect! But even if I do try to speak to them I fail, I never utter a word. And this fills me with exasperstion and envy.

I spend all of my time at home, but recently I've begun spending it in the library where I sit at the far right end away from everybody else. Just yesterday, I happened to bump into a man I knew very closely, we talked for awhile and then I carried on... I sat down near the entrance waiting to withdraw two history books and this amazingly euphoric Boy came in, very loud and ecstatic, I wondered if I had him maybe I would be happy. I was waiting and he went, I never saw him again which only added to my state of dejection, depression and somewhat melancholic feelings.

Jack C said:

I live a very reclusive and solitary life, I never socialise because I view society as a disease that people are standing idly by just watching. Because of that I wish to utterly kill and torture every person I deem worthy of punishment!

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Well, there's your problem. I know the frustration but don't give it space to grow and poison you.

As for your other problem, unfortunately: 1) no one should be talking to you if they don't want to (I can see some reasons why) 2) you'll only get better at it if you put yourself out there and socialize more. Perhaps even take the first step and reach out instead of just thinking people should approach you.

It sounds as though you are living in your head too much and need to reach out to people. I have the same problem. Things get so big inside your head, so seemingly unmangeable. Do you have anyone to talk to? Maybe see a student counsellor?

If you think you should be handed everything in life simply because you have this particular view of society, then you are sadly mistaken. If you want people to approach you, but don't want to talk to anyone on your own doing, then don't complain when people don't talk to you. Not everything is some sort of fantasy you've booked out in your mind because you can't deal with life the way it is.

Jack C said:

I view society as a disease that people are standing idly by just watching. Because of that I wish to utterly kill and torture every person I deem worthy of punishment!

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Jack C said:

I can't speak to them, they should be speaking to me! I'm perfect!

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I'll put it as straightforward as possible:
Having the desire to kill and torture ignorant people is not part of a commonly accepted definition of perfection. Or niceness. Or sanity. You can be **** sure it will keep the rational and intellectual individuals at a safety distance as well.

Jack C said:

Because of that I wish to utterly kill and torture every person I deem worthy of punishment!

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This says a lot about you, Jack. It's not very nice.

Closed. This is the same crap you spewed that got closed the last time. Don't bother making another or you'll get a vacation.