Alternatives to lashing out

I've found myself getting this weird build up of stress and anger that I feel like I have to let out. Recently, it's been either beating up the furniture or scratching my arms. (Thankfully, I manage to keep myself aware not to harm others) I know neither of these are good solutions for solving this and I'm looking for alternatives. Would anyone happen to know of any?

Punching bag. I wish I had that, I don't but there are many times I wished I had that. That would be good to have.

Working out? I do this too, it helps some.. really good if you have pent up anger or frustration. Sometimes this isn't enough for me - thus why I wished I had a punching bag so I can have a go at that and just get rid of all the negativity.

Cleaning around the house. Even when they're clean, there's always something to do. Reorganising stuff. This also helps me, this is more therapeutic than anything really. The last time I did this when I was frustrated - I got rid of 7 trash bags of stuff from my room. Not a very good idea if you plan to keep some stuff.. I just got rid of whatever I could and never looked back.

Taking a walk. It calms me.

Watching Ellen or anything funny. Helps to lighten up the mood a little.

Music. This helps too, if I'm upset, I kinda like listening to mellow songs that would only end up making me cry. It's like a release. If I'm angry, I like listening to angrier or loud songs.. like some rock or metal or some Eminem - nothing beats loads of cursing in a song and singing/rapping along to them.

Eons ago, I used to write, when I had that passion burning. I wrote poetry, based and inspired by what I felt at any point of time. It was so easy to get the words flowing out when you feel something so strongly. But I've had my writer's block and since then I never wrote anymore. So this might help for some.

I have to agree with Lady with the music. Music is just... I can't explain what it does. It's such a universal soul-soother, and it has so many varieties, that you can probably find anything to relate to how you feel. I also wrote a bit as well. I had several small notebooks filled. Walking as well. I really want to do the working out thing. Nothing strenuous. Just something that I can get out the stress in a productive way.

ladyforsaken said:

Punching bag. I wish I had that, I don't but there are many times I wished I had that. That would be good to have.

Working out? I do this too, it helps some.. really good if you have pent up anger or frustration. Sometimes this isn't enough for me - thus why I wished I had a punching bag so I can have a go at that and just get rid of all the negativity.

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These.

I also want to throw in meditation. Teach yourself or go to a class and learn. If you feel it coming on, meditate.

Anything that takes your concentration away from your thoughts is going to help. A hobby your enjoy, something that needs done, a conversation with a friend. Find your go to, what works for you and get to it.

If your stress and anger is related to a person or people in particular, could you talk to them about why you are feeling this way?

Playing the drums helped me a lot, in a social way as wel.
Unfortunately you can`t just put a drumkit in your bedroom, at least not where i live

Thanks for the answers. Turns out they're working (at least for now.) Taking a walk is especially becoming a good idea and I've even planned out a "stress trail." Also, music really DOES help and I tend to play it while I'm walking.

Thanks again guys!

When I'm really angry, which I'm dismayed to say is pretty often, I'd say the best ways I have come up with to deal with it are going for a walk, meditating, or just having a good lie-down and doing nothing until the feeling passes. Just kinda letting it run its course. It might be counter-intuitive, but it works for me sometimes.

Just trying to remember that anger won't solve the things I'm angry at. Being smarter is my only chance, but I can't really be smart when I'm angry.

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There's a lot of good options here as well:

ladyforsaken said:

Punching bag. I wish I had that, I don't but there are many times I wished I had that. That would be good to have.

Working out? I do this too, it helps some.. really good if you have pent up anger or frustration. Sometimes this isn't enough for me - thus why I wished I had a punching bag so I can have a go at that and just get rid of all the negativity.

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Now this is something I've wanted too, for the longest time. I think I'll have to get one when I have my own place. I've wanted it before but I think the problem is my parents didn't want me to express anger this way. The thing is though, that's exactly what I needed. When I think of a person or a situation I hate, a punching bag would have done the trick and that's exactly what it's intended for. Oh well.

ladyforsaken said:

Cleaning around the house. Even when they're clean, there's always something to do. Reorganising stuff. This also helps me, this is more therapeutic than anything really. The last time I did this when I was frustrated - I got rid of 7 trash bags of stuff from my room. Not a very good idea if you plan to keep some stuff.. I just got rid of whatever I could and never looked back.

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This is a pretty good one too. I remember something was really bothering me at the start of this year, so I really cleaned up my basement a lot, really threw out a lot of things and boxed up some other things to give away that I hadn't looked at in 20 years. Cleaning, I feel, is a great way to take one's mind off of anger or sadness, even if it only works as long as you have stuff to clean.

ladyforsaken said:

Music. This helps too, if I'm upset, I kinda like listening to mellow songs that would only end up making me cry. It's like a release. If I'm angry, I like listening to angrier or loud songs.. like some rock or metal or some Eminem - nothing beats loads of cursing in a song and singing/rapping along to them.

Eons ago, I used to write, when I had that passion burning. I wrote poetry, based and inspired by what I felt at any point of time. It was so easy to get the words flowing out when you feel something so strongly. But I've had my writer's block and since then I never wrote anymore. So this might help for some.

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I feel this could or could not work, in my experience. Sometimes music works...the mellower stuff I feel is actually best. If I listen to something aggressive, I find it only intensifies what I feel even more....sometimes it makes me feel angrier. Though I often daydream about being a punk rocker like some of my heroes and letting it all out that way. Not only would it be healthy and constructive, but if I were doing something like that it would feel like progress. If I were successful, I would truly feel like I am finally hitting the dirty ******* or whatever situation back. If I was doing something like that, then in that situation I'd feel, if only for a while, that no bill can crush me, no boss can own me, no "badass" can steal from me. I'd feel 10 feet tall.

The trick is though, I feel I can only be creative when I'm in a happy state of mind. When I'm angry, my own writer's block is very intense.

I used to be angry all the time. I've punched through windows, doors, internal walls, TVs, furniture. I've thrown plates, cups, vases, glasses... basically whatever I could get my hands on. I've ripped doors clean off their hinges and I've ended up in the emergency room needing stitches and various other medical procedures. These days I have learned to control it, although I'm not sure if it's more to do with my testosterone levels lowering as I advance in years.

I think a lot of it has to do with self-esteem. I used to feel useless. I used to feel different from everyone else. As I got older, I realised that it's OK to break from the norm, that I did not have to fit some cookie cutter image of what a man is. The more I learned to accept myself, the more my self-esteem grew and the less angry I felt inside.

A punching bag never seemed to work for me. It doesn't hit back and it causes no pain.

Music only worked if I could get it to make me so frustrated and so angry that I ended up breaking down in tears. It would leave me a nervous wreck and unable to operate in my normal life.

Working out works wonders. It uses masses of energy, tires you out and makes your self-esteem grow. It also makes your muscles ache like hell if, like me, you need to feel pain in order to release your pent up frustration.

Writing everything down also helps. It forces you to concentrate and it helps to slow everything down to the point that you can think clearly again.

Walking can work too, but it depends how angry you actually are. I wouldn't want to go walking anywhere around other people when you're about to explode.

Anger is an entirely self-defeating emotion and the more you learn to control it, the happier your life will be. It's achieving this which is the difficult part.

Before I got on medication, I used to get ticked off easily, probably due to my crazy female hormones. Sensitive to sound and light around that time of the month, I used to lash out easily. The healthy way to lash out is to do it physically, in a non-harmful way to anyone else or yourself. When I went mad, I'd run to relieve myself. Running seems to do it for me. Screaming is rather insane and unhealthy, draining energy.