Does anybody else feel threatened by women in a social scenario?

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Freakin_Amazin

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This seems really wierd even to me. But when I am with girls that I don't know (like in public places), or in a place where there are alot of girls I don't know and I'm alone, I feel almost threatened. It's wierd, it's like I have to put this shield over me because I don't trust them, but it doesn't happen with guys (unless it's obvious he hates me or something). I don't feel much fear; it's almost like it's a threat but I can handle it but I don't want to. It's more like anxiety, like I'm in a war zone and there's people out to get me. I try not to look around, just mind my own business. It's not a pleasant experience, but one that I have gotten used to because it happens so much.

I don't know, might be just me having neurosis. What do you think?
 
Freakin_Amazin said:
This seems really wierd even to me. But when I am with girls that I don't know (like in public places), or in a place where there are alot of girls I don't know and I'm alone, I feel almost threatened. It's wierd, it's like I have to put this shield over me because I don't trust them, but it doesn't happen with guys (unless it's obvious he hates me or something). I don't feel much fear; it's almost like it's a threat but I can handle it but I don't want to. It's more like anxiety, like I'm in a war zone and there's people out to get me. I try not to look around, just mind my own business. It's not a pleasant experience, but one that I have gotten used to because it happens so much.

I don't know, might be just me having neurosis. What do you think?

I am a woman and I feel threatened by other women.
Common scenarios which happen in the presence of other women:
-they will ask nasty and too personal questions right away. "What are you doing here? Are you married?"
-such questions are the sign that they feel that I am competition, hence the "are you single, married?" question
-then when I am in the middle of a conversation with a guy, they jump in and try to hijack our current conversation
Guy: yeah, so I love tennis
Me: I have recently started playing tennis once again...
The other girl: OMG!!!! (flips hair) You play tennis! (to the guy, ignoring my presence) WE must play this weekend!!!!
-or they will say something totally man hating in a man's presence (leaves me embrassed, pondering what the men think afterwards)
-or they act so needy and clingy that men verbally signal that they do not want them (also embrassing)

On Sunday I went to this classy design fair, and being dumb, asked a female to come along with me. At one stand, there was this really nice and good looking guy who tried to start up a conversation with us. She in return, totally insulted him out of the blue. That totally ruined my chances of getting to know him. :(
 
Freakin_Amazin said:
This seems really wierd even to me. But when I am with girls that I don't know (like in public places), or in a place where there are alot of girls I don't know and I'm alone, I feel almost threatened. It's wierd, it's like I have to put this shield over me because I don't trust them, but it doesn't happen with guys (unless it's obvious he hates me or something). I don't feel much fear; it's almost like it's a threat but I can handle it but I don't want to. It's more like anxiety, like I'm in a war zone and there's people out to get me. I try not to look around, just mind my own business. It's not a pleasant experience, but one that I have gotten used to because it happens so much.

I don't know, might be just me having neurosis. What do you think?

i get that sometimes. if i go eat by myself at a restaruant, and the place is full of couples, sometimes i feel "threatened" or intimidated. i feel like everyone's watching me... when i was in high school i went to a restaruant alone to eat by myself, someone (who was with a group) went up to me and asked if i was gay and why was i eating by myself with headphones on....... i think that was what really created this fear of mine. but i realized now that it doesnt mean fuckin honeysuckle if you are alone, still, i wish i was with someone in a public place sometimes.
 
i feel threatened any time some one is behind me. if its not a buisy place and they're walking the same way i am behind me i slow down tell they pass me or i start to jog and get a good distance between us. i cant stand it when people are be hind me watching me and i cant see what theyre doing.
 
It kind of feels like 70% of the women in a public place that I happen to be in seem to start thinking defensively like I'm going to try to have sex with them or I'm a pickup artist and I MUST be denied or that kind of thing. It's like their body language is total disgust for me. It makes me feel really bad and like I can't talk to anyone. And it's not like I'm ugly or screwed up in any way: I'm average looking and atletic (because I lift so much weights). And then I start thinking, maybe it's me; maybe it's all in my head. I really don't know what to make of it.
 
Freakin_Amazin said:
It kind of feels like 70% of the women in a public place that I happen to be in seem to start thinking defensively like I'm going to try to have sex with them or I'm a pickup artist and I MUST be denied or that kind of thing.


Sometimes i feel that way so i go out of my way to avoid any action that could be misinterpreted and may go out of my way to appear oblivious to any female that may be around. I imagine instead i just come across as cold, aloof and out of touch.
 
i have been taken for like a decade ( for real, 3 years with highschool love, and 6 years with HER) so trying to flirt is like asking a dog to do a thesis on the ramifacations of eastern policy. its just not happening.
im so bad to, i get the "duh-duh-duh--...I-I-I..." know what i mean?
 
LOL well, I can flirt sometimes, but sometimes I just want to eat a freakin' sandwich! And invariably, it'll feel like I'm being "sized up".
 
SighX99 said:
...when i was in high school i went to a restaruant alone to eat by myself, someone (who was with a group) went up to me and asked if i was gay and why was i eating by myself with headphones on.......

How ******* rude. People like that make me sick.

I usually like to eat alone because I just don't like talking to anybody while I'm eating. Most of the time I would make the stupidest excuses when I would be invited for a bite to eat out with someone. I know I look like a loser but I could care less.
 
SighX99 said:
i get that sometimes. if i go eat by myself at a restaruant, and the place is full of couples, sometimes i feel "threatened" or intimidated. i feel like everyone's watching me... when i was in high school i went to a restaruant alone to eat by myself, someone (who was with a group) went up to me and asked if i was gay and why was i eating by myself with headphones on....... i think that was what really created this fear of mine. but i realized now that it doesnt mean fuckin honeysuckle if you are alone, still, i wish i was with someone in a public place sometimes.

**** straight, Sigh. I wish I had a nickle for every time I went somewhere alone. I go by myself to the movies and anywhere else I want too. : )
 
Naleena said:
Sigh. I wish I had a nickle for every time I went somewhere alone. I go by myself to the movies and anywhere else I want too. : )

I can relate. Usually I'll go alone everywhere. I've gone alone to the beach here, and I've told some people and they're like "Dude, you're going to get held up" (Crime where I live is rampant). I once saw a movie alone but I didn't like it, cause other people were there and I felt so out of place. I just buy the movie when it comes out now.
 
Freakin_Amazin said:
It kind of feels like 70% of the women in a public place that I happen to be in seem to start thinking defensively like I'm going to try to have sex with them or I'm a pickup artist and I MUST be denied or that kind of thing. It's like their body language is total disgust for me. It makes me feel really bad and like I can't talk to anyone. And it's not like I'm ugly or screwed up in any way: I'm average looking and atletic (because I lift so much weights). And then I start thinking, maybe it's me; maybe it's all in my head. I really don't know what to make of it.

Amazing, that's exactly how I used to feel in another town I used to live in. It almost never happens here (in this new town). First time I've ever heard anybody describe it like that, that's exactly how I felt in that other town. If I was at the bus stop for instance (usually more if they were young and attractive), and I asked them innocently, when's the next bus was due, they'd shy away or act really nervous, and they either didn't answer or would just say, "I don't know", and act scared of me. Used to make me feel really self conscious or like I was repulsive or something. One girl once just pointed to the bus timetable on the stop itself (I couldn't be bothered read it lol!) and didn't speak. Ever so weird. Then I went to a city (as this was a town), 20miles away and asked a very attractive blonde in her say early 20's, at the bus stop, again, when's the next bus due, and she answered like a normal adult lol! and I replied, "Thanks love!" and then the bus turned up and we got on it, no biggie. It was then I realised it must be the town I was living in. So I moved back home to this city (a different city than the other), I still haven't found anyone but don't find it half as bad as that place. Just appears I've lost my confidence with women and I blame that other town for causing it. Another thing that happened one night in that sad town lol! after walking home from a club, I'd had a great night and was in a great mood, I said, "Hi Ladies, you alright?" to 2 girls walking home through town, and one looked nervous again and the other just simply said, "My mum always told me not to talk to strangers", to which it annoyed me and so I replied, "Well everyones a stranger, even your parents till you talk to them and get to know them, so that's the biggest load of **** I've ever heard" and I walked off. So glad I'm out of that man hating town. I came to the conclusion that the women there, must get continuously hit on by men, and that's the only thing men must do and never talk to them otherwise (unless they know them of course, talking strangers), so if you're a stranger and you try and talk to them, that's why they must get so defensive. Makes you question yourself though and screws with your head.
 
Minus said:
Sometimes i feel that way so i go out of my way to avoid any action that could be misinterpreted and may go out of my way to appear oblivious to any female that may be around. I imagine instead i just come across as cold, aloof and out of touch.

That's exactly what happens with me. I'm hyper conscious of looking like I'm 'looking' (literally) or too eager for an interaction, and so end up appearing unfriendly as a result.
 

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