What do you do when there is nothing to live for?

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cumulus.james

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I am not stupid. There is nothing left to live for. It's all gone. Nothing is worthwhile. I am sick of hurting. And like The Verve said "The Drugs Don't work". Not when you've got nothing. Not when you have been so alone all your life. Not when shitting in an empty room by yourself is your only possible life. Not when you hate yourself. Not when you are ugly. Not when you are unemployable. Not when you have nothing in common with anyone. Most of all, not when it is TRUE that you will never be loved. Or have someone to love.

There is nothing. Can't anyone understand? There is just nothing to live for.
 
Do you want help?

You are obviously in tremedous pain, and it feels impossible to see anything else through the fog of swirling negative thoughts.

What do you want to hear from the members here? I think you have been given some great suggestions.

In my opinion I think going to A & E and saying what you have here.
 
Sadistically, I only want to hear that other members are in the same pain. I take pleasure in that. To know that someone else hurts as bad as I do. That is somehow comforting.
 
Was in a limbo that seems a lot like what you describe, C.J Nothing helped except living through it for long enough that I discovered I was looking back on something I'd survived.

If that makes any sense.

Now, in the 6th decade of my life? I don't enjoy very much but I do know that I'm a tough S.O.B. and if the world wants to hurt me, it's going to have to fight pretty hard to make me bleed.

Not very cheery news for you C.J but it's better than feeling like a victim.
 
cumulus.james said:
I take pleasure in that.

How does this give you pleasure? I'm genuinely curious.

What about it feels good to you?


cumulus.james said:
I cut myself.

I've been reading so much about you cutting yourself that I had a dream that I cut myself accidentally..twice on the underside of my arm. I had to check myself several times when I was awake to confirm that I didn't actually have marks for it.
 
cumulus.james said:
Sadistically, I only want to hear that other members are in the same pain. I take pleasure in that. To know that someone else hurts as bad as I do. That is somehow comforting.

I'm actually not sure that's "sadistic."
I think that sometimes one might find comfort in the fact that they aren't suffering alone - that others suffer also.


cumulus.james said:
I cut myself.

Be careful with that, James. One day, you might get a reprieve from your mental illnesses and decide you want to live your life differently. You can hide the scars on the inside from those who aren't close to you, but not the ones on the outside.
I suppose people cut for different reasons, but my guess is that the physical pain likely distracts from the emotional pain.
I'm truly sorry that you feel nothing will ever change for you.
 
wrist are for bracelets of love not cutting.
hope is your current bracelet dont throw it
 
Have been in that place pretty often in my life, being there right now - usually just find something that offers a glimpse of hope, a change of place, of activity, of people, and I stubbornly go in that direction, sometimes really slowly because it's like I am in a fog.
 
cumulus.james said:
Sadistically, I only want to hear that other members are in the same pain. I take pleasure in that. To know that someone else hurts as bad as I do. That is somehow comforting.

It's not sadistic, you just want to know that someone feels the same way you do because you can't relate to normal people and that makes you feel alone. I have nothing to live for and the drugs (and alcohol) don't work, they just make it worse while offering a temporary reprieve. And I've cut myself too and that doesn't work either. I don't have anything to say that will make it better except that you are not alone in feeling this way.
 
It is the morning. A new day. What to do with it? My book sits besides me, but I can't convince myself to read it. A maths text book is on the coffee table, but they will never let me back in uni now. "All is Dream" one of my favourite albums by Mercury Rev is on my phone, which has very good audio, but I won't listen to it. A man is trying to talk to me on grinder but I will go out my way to put him off.

But another man is also trying to talk to me. I once dated someone who went out with him. So I know this one to be abusive, controlling and a bully. I will keep chatting to him. A punch in the kidneys is worth it if it gives you someone to live for.

Who invented depression? I never saw any of my cats get depressed only when they were ill or injured. Got no cat now, can't have one where I live.
 

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