the loneliness returns

I find myself friendless at the moment. Loneliness has been with me for many years, since I was a teenager, I am 27 now. I am still in school full time with a little over a year before I get my Bachelors degree. I don't go out much because I don't have any friends at the moment. I don't ever "hang out" with anyone. I am very shy and an introvert. I suffer from depression, anxiety, and social phobia. The loneliness that I feel is not entirely literal as in I have no friends or people to hang out with; but I also feel alone in my own suffering, knowing that the only person that loves and cares for me is my mother. I feel invisible. I have very low self esteem and self worth. I feel like such a loser, a f*** up. This sense that nobody likes me or ever wants to be my friend is always lingering and it projects itself outward making it a self fulfilling prophecy.

You're in good company here, lilE. But, like everyone else here, you are NOT a loser, you are not invisible and you're almost done with your bachelor's degrees, so you don't sound like a fresia up to me.

Your own thoughts are going to be your downfall, if you continue to let them haunt you. Believe me, I know how hard it is to quiet them, but it is possible. Keep trying and don't give up.

That's impressive you almost have your bachelors degree really and also, I feel like that too sometimes, just.. isolated and like no one cares about me but I know that's not true even if it feels that way. I think stopping by ALL was a good idea too. I'm kind of new here but this seems like a nice community full of open, caring people

Thanks therealcallie and bluefox, I appreciate it You are right, my thoughts are what lead me towards a downward spiral a lot of times, I have to be really careful with what I am thinking and perceiving.

You can PM me if you ever need to talk.

My own thoughts do the same thing to me, you just have to learn to battle them and tell those thoughts that they're untrue. You're not any of those things. My inbox is always open if you ever need to talk. I can relate to a lot to what you're saying. I don't have a single friend around where I live either and it depresses me too. I have started becoming my own best friend now and keeping myself busy. Just remind yourself daily that you're a good person, your not a loser.

27 is a good age lilE, do get the bachelors degree and that self fulfilling prophecy thing is a valuable insight....clearly you're a brainy person, wouldn't it be nice if intelligence alone could get us further than it does?

I'm glad you've come here, there are some good people on this site, people of good will with helpful feedback....I'm guessing that sometime in your journey you're going to discover that you're not the f***up you feel like you are now.

Thanks guys!

Good luck with your studies. It's really good that you have kept at it despite feeling so alone.
It may not feel like much to you, but you are lucky to have such a good, caring relationship with your mum. This is something to treasure and cherish.

Thanks Tiina!

If people born alone and get some realtionship then break up.... again then broke up....its like running circle.
cuz relationship and life partner is a precious gift if present is sucks then wait for the hope but never give up .

I am beginning to accept that most people want nothing to do with me, and if they do, they always leave one way or another, so why bother, why try? Just disappointments and resentment constantly.