Amthorn
Well-known member
So you are lonely.
You have no friends, or possibly one or two, but you rarely see or talk to them. You have no family, or you are estranged from them. You may or may not like your coworkers, if you have any, but in any case your association with them does not extend beyond work hours. You may or may not have a spouse or partner; if you do, you feel disconnected from them most of the time, or you feel like you need connections outside the relationship, which seems too challenging. It may be that you’ve never had a successful romantic relationship, or even one at all. Relating to potential romantic partners seems to get harder with every attempt.
Maybe you’ve given up. Maybe you contemplate suicide every day. You’ve been diagnosed with a slew of mental health conditions, or not, since you have a mistrust of doctors. You may be heavily medicated, or you may self-medicate with drugs and alcohol.
Maybe you have a physical disability, and people turn away from you or take pity on you, which isolates you and sets you apart from most activities. You seek out companionship time and time again, only to be continually rebuffed because of your differences.
At the heart of it all is this tragic loneliness. This feeling like you’re misunderstood, unrelatable, unworthy. Maybe you were abused as a child or an adult, resulting in a deep distrust of others. You carry a deep, aching sadness, a longing to connect with another human being on a deep level that seems to continually elude you.
You ask yourself, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I connect with people? Why don’t people like me?
The answer is simple. There is nothing wrong you you.
You are special, unique, sensitive, caring and insightful. Your loneliness stems from a deep and abiding love and compassion for others, something you feel so fiercely that it hurts. No everyone can feel so deeply; many are sadly obsessed by things that don’t matter. Cars, toys, money, sports, sex, material and eternally fleeting things which you have tried to feign interest in, in order to gain acceptance, but you have failed at this time and time again because you know they don’t matter. Connections are what matter; connections with other people.
So what is blocking you? What is preventing you from making that connection?
Fear.
Somewhere out there, there are other people like you. MILLIONS of them. Perhaps even the best friend or lover you’ve been wanting. They may not be who you imagined or fantasized them being, but they may be out there. However, until you step outside your comfort zone, your cocoon of suffering and fear, you will never find them.
Be brave. Courage is knowing fear and acting in spite of it. Cowardice is denying the reality of fear, and the effect it has on our lives.
There are people out there, not far from where you are, who will accept you for who you are, who will show you compassion, who will listen to your thoughts and feelings without judgement.
You just have to be willing to do the same for them. Because they are you, just like you, with the same feelings, thoughts, and fears.
Reach out to someone else, who is just like you. You have nothing to lose but your fear.
You have no friends, or possibly one or two, but you rarely see or talk to them. You have no family, or you are estranged from them. You may or may not like your coworkers, if you have any, but in any case your association with them does not extend beyond work hours. You may or may not have a spouse or partner; if you do, you feel disconnected from them most of the time, or you feel like you need connections outside the relationship, which seems too challenging. It may be that you’ve never had a successful romantic relationship, or even one at all. Relating to potential romantic partners seems to get harder with every attempt.
Maybe you’ve given up. Maybe you contemplate suicide every day. You’ve been diagnosed with a slew of mental health conditions, or not, since you have a mistrust of doctors. You may be heavily medicated, or you may self-medicate with drugs and alcohol.
Maybe you have a physical disability, and people turn away from you or take pity on you, which isolates you and sets you apart from most activities. You seek out companionship time and time again, only to be continually rebuffed because of your differences.
At the heart of it all is this tragic loneliness. This feeling like you’re misunderstood, unrelatable, unworthy. Maybe you were abused as a child or an adult, resulting in a deep distrust of others. You carry a deep, aching sadness, a longing to connect with another human being on a deep level that seems to continually elude you.
You ask yourself, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I connect with people? Why don’t people like me?
The answer is simple. There is nothing wrong you you.
You are special, unique, sensitive, caring and insightful. Your loneliness stems from a deep and abiding love and compassion for others, something you feel so fiercely that it hurts. No everyone can feel so deeply; many are sadly obsessed by things that don’t matter. Cars, toys, money, sports, sex, material and eternally fleeting things which you have tried to feign interest in, in order to gain acceptance, but you have failed at this time and time again because you know they don’t matter. Connections are what matter; connections with other people.
So what is blocking you? What is preventing you from making that connection?
Fear.
Somewhere out there, there are other people like you. MILLIONS of them. Perhaps even the best friend or lover you’ve been wanting. They may not be who you imagined or fantasized them being, but they may be out there. However, until you step outside your comfort zone, your cocoon of suffering and fear, you will never find them.
Be brave. Courage is knowing fear and acting in spite of it. Cowardice is denying the reality of fear, and the effect it has on our lives.
There are people out there, not far from where you are, who will accept you for who you are, who will show you compassion, who will listen to your thoughts and feelings without judgement.
You just have to be willing to do the same for them. Because they are you, just like you, with the same feelings, thoughts, and fears.
Reach out to someone else, who is just like you. You have nothing to lose but your fear.