I'm 21 and I've spent a great deal in the past trying to form relationships with girls, but it takes a toll on ones self esteem to never be seen as a dating candidate.. It's not fun anymore.
The problem I find is that in taking the time to try to get to know a girl (takes me a while to learn about her personality and feel comfortable due to some social anxiety) they seem to write me off as just a friend. I feel like this is the problem with a lot of guys who complain about girls 'treating nice guys poorly & the friend zone;' because, by not obviously coming onto her immediately she won't think you're interested in her as anything more than a friend... At least in my experience.
I can't just go up to random girls trying to score a date based on how they look and a first impression. Other guys have no problem with this, but for me it's really uncomfortable.
Do you think its more damaging for me to try to find some one who might be interested, or to pursue my own ambitions (career, hobbies etc) and not even concern myself with the opposite sex?
The problem I find is that in taking the time to try to get to know a girl (takes me a while to learn about her personality and feel comfortable due to some social anxiety) they seem to write me off as just a friend. I feel like this is the problem with a lot of guys who complain about girls 'treating nice guys poorly & the friend zone;' because, by not obviously coming onto her immediately she won't think you're interested in her as anything more than a friend... At least in my experience.
I can't just go up to random girls trying to score a date based on how they look and a first impression. Other guys have no problem with this, but for me it's really uncomfortable.
Do you think its more damaging for me to try to find some one who might be interested, or to pursue my own ambitions (career, hobbies etc) and not even concern myself with the opposite sex?