People with open mind(?)

Deerhorns: Hello, Deerhooves! I am open to anyone! I can be friend of you! I am fluffy and comfortable person! Do you want get some ice cream?? Please come out from your shell!!!
Deerhooves: Eh.. Wait..

I deal with this type of people at online, rarely at offline.
My sense tells to me "It's a trap!", and try to avoid that person. Is it natural, or just a overreaction?
How do you deal with this type of people?

I've had dealings with these types, they go on about how they "want to be your friend" and you can "tell them anything" "why wont you open up to me?"

They pretend to be so nice, patient, understanding, good listeners. Every one of them turned out to be full of honeysuckle. They don't care about you, they are emotional tourists they soon get bored and move onto someone else, rinse and repeat.

Just how friendly are they? Some people are just exuberant in general, though they can certainly be overwhelming. The ones who can't respect your own pace and space have an agenda that has nothing to do with your comfort levels or feelings, though.

People who aren't willing to wait for a friendship to develop naturally aren't willing to wait for a reason.

Couldn't you just give them a chance to prove you wrong and just be cautiously optimistic? If it turns out to be a trap, at least you can say you tried and didn't just throw it away before you could find out, right? As Tealeaf said, if they can't wait until you are ready, then they aren't really a friend anyway.

I... tend to wait it out to see how a person's character develops, and slowly assess them. This doesn't necessarily mean I react the same way to every new person because sometimes two people can immediately click, you know. However, I am cauteous towards furries. I have a forum that got hit by a number of new members, all furries, and they were very unpleasant; I had the greatest of pleasure booting them out.

I find friends - particularly forum friends are either ones who will stick with me through my meltdowns and those who shy away. It all boils down to the kindness of heart in someone when every day they pm me, and I feel uplifted and wanting to carry on. Friends like these are what I call Life Enhancers. They are indeed, a rare species.

If you feel it's a trap, then you manage it as a trap. Are you trying to ask if your feeling is wrong? Like, you see all yellow flags as red flags and sometimes even green flags as red flags?

Otherwise, as others have said, just play it safe. What exactly do you have to lose if you just played it safe. Some time? some effort? What else would you have done in those time if you didn't spend it on responding to them? At least you got to kill some time.

Mouse said:

I have a forum that got hit by a number of new members, all furries, and they were very unpleasant; I had the greatest of pleasure booting them out.

Click to expand...

What the heck is a furrie?

BeyondShy said:

Mouse said:

I have a forum that got hit by a number of new members, all furries, and they were very unpleasant; I had the greatest of pleasure booting them out.

Click to expand...

What the heck is a furrie?

Click to expand...

Going off-topic for a minute,

Furries are the strangest sub-culture in all of geekdom. They range from being harmless fans fascinated by anthropomorphic characters and animals, eagle-winged fox-like versions of themselves. On the whole they are just a group of people who are fans of a single concept, seem to know how to have fun, and are doing alright for themselves in terms of publicity. Except there is something known as "Yif yif", Furry porn which to me is absolutely repulsive and disgusting, and is dangerously close to bestiality. Yif comes in comic form and often is drawn by those furries who are into artwork. Ugh! O___O

Furries get a lot of crap thrown at them on the internet in relation to the activities of the minority of their fanbase. They have a reputation to reacting to this in an over the top manner (such as comparing their treatment to the Holocaust), which really doesn't do them many favours.

There are furry forums around and the biggest one would be furaffinity.net

Mostly furries are harmless. But I wouldn't allow my daughter within a hundred yards of them.

"Emotional Tourist". I like that. Think it just may be phrase of the day.

Personally, I just use the Zen of Bad Experience. You just take a deep breath and meditate on the single worst, most socially awkward situation you've ever been in; a time you bet it all on something that mattered, and lost (figuratively speaking). If you don't have an immediate panic attack, you can remind yourself the experience you're about to have does not have the ability to be anywhere near as terrible as the one you've already been in. Apathy can be big medicine in small doses.

Also, an article on single-serving friends.

I like "emotional tourist" as well. "Zen of Bad Experience" is also very catchy.

This type sets my teeth on edge, too. It's almost like the child who is extra nice to the parent. "Okay, what do you want this time?" That's just my cynical opinion based on personal experience and observation (the former of which isn't much; the latter much more so). The way it typically (very quickly) ends is with the individual who claimed to so desperately want to be my "best friend for life" turning on me because I didn't satisfy their entertainment needs. Emotional tourists indeed.

I deal with it by being politely direct. "Friendship takes time." If they can't accept that, and this type most often takes offense (again, just in my experience and from my observations), then that answers all questions.

"Emotional tourist" sounds miles better than an emotional terrorist. I knew someoneone like that.

deerhooves said:

Deerhorns: Hello, Deerhooves! I am open to anyone! I can be friend of you! I am fluffy and comfortable person! Do you want get some ice cream?? Please come out from your shell!!!
Deerhooves: Eh.. Wait..

I deal with this type of people at online, rarely at offline.
My sense tells to me "It's a trap!", and try to avoid that person. Is it natural, or just a overreaction?
How do you deal with this type of people?

Click to expand...

what I learned the hard way is that the faster one wants to be your friend, the faster they will dump you soon afterwards
I have a deep mistrust of people who say they love you and care about you after 48 hours of meeting you…

What Peaches said is very true.

But every blue moon which, as we know is indeed a rare sight, someone comes to us and then over time we discover they have become a gem; the others before them fading away into insignificance. They are soon forgotten.