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M_also_lonely

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There was a girl in my class when I was in school. I liked her very much, from the first time we talked till now.So about 5 years. We were so called friends.Like she would never approach to me to talk and would pass right from nearby me, ad if I was invisible. But would talk very sweetly when I would talk to her. I could never figure out what was she upto. What she felt about me. I once asked for her number which she didnt give.

But a few months ago I got her number indirectly. I called her to listen to her voice. As she said "Hello" for a few times, I cut the line.A few days later, I messaged her, "Hi". She didnt reply. She had got my number.
Today is her birthday. At the moment clock showed 12:00, I messaged her, "Happy Birthday". She didnt reply for a few minutes. But then she did. She thanked me and asked me how I got her number. Then we talked for about 2 hours. She asked me not to msg her, she said it was the last time, because she is not allowed to talk to boys, by her parents. (Yes, she isnt lying, it is everywhere in the place I live, most parents dont allow her to be friends with guys) I then told her everything about my feelings. Exactly how I felt for her.How I paid double money in hurry to give her a gift,which she had rejected, how I would wait for an hour for her to come just to see her for a few seconds. (In the last semester, she was in another batch, and there was a gap of 1 hr. I would wait everyday, to see her, until she went to the class.)
and how I cried after I saw her for the last time,which was 3 years ago.

People, I am not a person who could dare to express like those guys, what you call "Alphas" do, like he would go to her, impress her(I dont know how do they do it) But I promise, I would never cheat or betray, like those guys mostly do, and forget it within days.

She said "You were literally mad, why did you cry for me?"
I told her the rest.How much I liked her, and how she would ignore me.
Then she said, "Ok sorry for hurting, bye" and left.

I want to know what she felt about me.
1. If she wad interested in talking to me, she could keep in touch any how, or would ask a little like "How are you?" "Where r u" "What work do you do?" , which she didn't.
2 If she hated me, she would talk to me for two hours, she could block me, which she didnt.


So what was she really upto? Was I annoying her? I asked her to tell me Clearly if she didnt like to talk to me. But she said "nthing like that" So what did she actually have in her mind?
 
M_also_lonely said:
There was a girl in my class when I was in school. I liked her very much, from the first time we talked till now.So about 5 years. We were so called friends.Like she would never approach to me to talk and would pass right from nearby me, ad if I was invisible. But would talk very sweetly when I would talk to her. I could never figure out what was she upto. What she felt about me. I once asked for her number which she didnt give.

But a few months ago I got her number indirectly. I called her to listen to her voice. As she said "Hello" for a few times, I cut the line.A few days later, I messaged her, "Hi". She didnt reply. She had got my number.
Today is her birthday. At the moment clock showed 12:00, I messaged her, "Happy Birthday". She didnt reply for a few minutes. But then she did. She thanked me and asked me how I got her number. Then we talked for about 2 hours. She asked me not to msg her, she said it was the last time, because she is not allowed to talk to boys, by her parents. (Yes, she isnt lying, it is everywhere in the place I live, most parents dont allow her to be friends with guys) I then told her everything about my feelings. Exactly how I felt for her.How I paid double money in hurry to give her a gift,which she had rejected, how I would wait for an hour for her to come just to see her for a few seconds. (In the last semester, she was in another batch, and there was a gap of 1 hr. I would wait everyday, to see her, until she went to the class.)
and how I cried after I saw her for the last time,which was 3 years ago.

People, I am not a person who could dare to express like those guys, what you call "Alphas" do, like he would go to her, impress her(I dont know how do they do it) But I promise, I would never cheat or betray, like those guys mostly do, and forget it within days.

She said "You were literally mad, why did you cry for me?"
I told her the rest.How much I liked her, and how she would ignore me.
Then she said, "Ok sorry for hurting, bye" and left.

I want to know what she felt about me.
1. If she wad interested in talking to me, she could keep in touch any how, or would ask a little like "How are you?" "Where r u" "What work do you do?" , which she didn't.
2 If she hated me, she would talk to me for two hours, she could block me, which she didnt.


So what was she really upto? Was I annoying her? I asked her to tell me Clearly if she didnt like to talk to me. But she said "nthing like that" So what did she actually have in her mind?

I think she made it crystal clear she wants nothing to do with you. Either as a friend or anything more. It is pointless wondering what was on her mind. Don't be the type of guy who won't take 'no' for an answer. Just accept her decision and move on.
 
Triple Bogey said:
M_also_lonely said:
There was a girl in my class when I was in school. I liked her very much, from the first time we talked till now.So about 5 years. We were so called friends.Like she would never approach to me to talk and would pass right from nearby me, ad if I was invisible. But would talk very sweetly when I would talk to her. I could never figure out what was she upto. What she felt about me. I once asked for her number which she didnt give.

But a few months ago I got her number indirectly. I called her to listen to her voice. As she said "Hello" for a few times, I cut the line.A few days later, I messaged her, "Hi". She didnt reply. She had got my number.
Today is her birthday. At the moment clock showed 12:00, I messaged her, "Happy Birthday". She didnt reply for a few minutes. But then she did. She thanked me and asked me how I got her number. Then we talked for about 2 hours. She asked me not to msg her, she said it was the last time, because she is not allowed to talk to boys, by her parents. (Yes, she isnt lying, it is everywhere in the place I live, most parents dont allow her to be friends with guys) I then told her everything about my feelings. Exactly how I felt for her.How I paid double money in hurry to give her a gift,which she had rejected, how I would wait for an hour for her to come just to see her for a few seconds. (In the last semester, she was in another batch, and there was a gap of 1 hr. I would wait everyday, to see her, until she went to the class.)
and how I cried after I saw her for the last time,which was 3 years ago.

People, I am not a person who could dare to express like those guys, what you call "Alphas" do, like he would go to her, impress her(I dont know how do they do it) But I promise, I would never cheat or betray, like those guys mostly do, and forget it within days.

She said "You were literally mad, why did you cry for me?"
I told her the rest.How much I liked her, and how she would ignore me.
Then she said, "Ok sorry for hurting, bye" and left.

I want to know what she felt about me.
1. If she wad interested in talking to me, she could keep in touch any how, or would ask a little like "How are you?" "Where r u" "What work do you do?" , which she didn't.
2 If she hated me, she would talk to me for two hours, she could block me, which she didnt.


So what was she really upto? Was I annoying her? I asked her to tell me Clearly if she didnt like to talk to me. But she said "nthing like that" So what did she actually have in her mind?

I think she made it crystal clear she wants nothing to do with you. Either as a friend or anything more. It is pointless wondering what was on her mind. Don't be the type of guy who won't take 'no' for an answer. Just accept her decision and move on.

Then what about the feelings I had for her???

And why would she talk to me at late night for 2 long hours?
 
M_also_lonely said:
Triple Bogey said:
M_also_lonely said:
There was a girl in my class when I was in school. I liked her very much, from the first time we talked till now.So about 5 years. We were so called friends.Like she would never approach to me to talk and would pass right from nearby me, ad if I was invisible. But would talk very sweetly when I would talk to her. I could never figure out what was she upto. What she felt about me. I once asked for her number which she didnt give.

But a few months ago I got her number indirectly. I called her to listen to her voice. As she said "Hello" for a few times, I cut the line.A few days later, I messaged her, "Hi". She didnt reply. She had got my number.
Today is her birthday. At the moment clock showed 12:00, I messaged her, "Happy Birthday". She didnt reply for a few minutes. But then she did. She thanked me and asked me how I got her number. Then we talked for about 2 hours. She asked me not to msg her, she said it was the last time, because she is not allowed to talk to boys, by her parents. (Yes, she isnt lying, it is everywhere in the place I live, most parents dont allow her to be friends with guys) I then told her everything about my feelings. Exactly how I felt for her.How I paid double money in hurry to give her a gift,which she had rejected, how I would wait for an hour for her to come just to see her for a few seconds. (In the last semester, she was in another batch, and there was a gap of 1 hr. I would wait everyday, to see her, until she went to the class.)
and how I cried after I saw her for the last time,which was 3 years ago.

People, I am not a person who could dare to express like those guys, what you call "Alphas" do, like he would go to her, impress her(I dont know how do they do it) But I promise, I would never cheat or betray, like those guys mostly do, and forget it within days.

She said "You were literally mad, why did you cry for me?"
I told her the rest.How much I liked her, and how she would ignore me.
Then she said, "Ok sorry for hurting, bye" and left.

I want to know what she felt about me.
1. If she wad interested in talking to me, she could keep in touch any how, or would ask a little like "How are you?" "Where r u" "What work do you do?" , which she didn't.
2 If she hated me, she would talk to me for two hours, she could block me, which she didnt.


So what was she really upto? Was I annoying her? I asked her to tell me Clearly if she didnt like to talk to me. But she said "nthing like that" So what did she actually have in her mind?

I think she made it crystal clear she wants nothing to do with you. Either as a friend or anything more. It is pointless wondering what was on her mind. Don't be the type of guy who won't take 'no' for an answer. Just accept her decision and move on.

Then what about the feelings I had for her???

And why would she talk to me at late night for 2 long hours?

She maybe talked to you out of pity, I don't know. No idea.
You have made so many mistakes, it's too full on. Sending a birthday message at 12.00 ? Crying ? Admitting how you feel when you hardly know her. How often have you talked to her ?

You've got a crush on her. Loads of guys go thru the same thing. It's natural. Remember all women look the same in the dark, there is nothing special about this one. Find somebody else and try to be more low key next time !
 
M_also_lonely said:
Then what about the feelings I had for her???

And why would she talk to me at late night for 2 long hours?

Not to be rude here, but what about your feelings? They don't entitle you to be in her life if she doesn't want you there. The feelings are unrequited, sorry dude, but it's time to let it go. Honestly, this sounds dangerously close to stalkerish behavior. Not saying you are stalking her, but it seems pretty close to that line.

She could have talked to you because she was bored or maybe she didn't want to be rude and tell you to fresia off. Who knows, it could be anything, but you aren't entitled to a reason and even if you were, you likely wouldn't get one.
 
It must hurt you so much to feel this way and I am so sorry that you are going through all this pain. Loving someone who does not share your feelings is a very hard experience and one that I have also gone through and am still going through, though I am at the stage where I can envisage loving someone new. I think that, for your own sake as well as for hers, it is time now for you to back away. Sometimes in acceptance, even of a negative situation, there comes eventual peace.
 
M_also_lonely said:
There was a girl in my class when I was in school. I liked her very much, from the first time we talked till now.So about 5 years. We were so called friends.Like she would never approach to me to talk and would pass right from nearby me, ad if I was invisible. But would talk very sweetly when I would talk to her. I could never figure out what was she upto. What she felt about me. I once asked for her number which she didnt give.

But a few months ago I got her number indirectly. I called her to listen to her voice. As she said "Hello" for a few times, I cut the line.A few days later, I messaged her, "Hi". She didnt reply. She had got my number.
Today is her birthday. At the moment clock showed 12:00, I messaged her, "Happy Birthday". She didnt reply for a few minutes. But then she did. She thanked me and asked me how I got her number. Then we talked for about 2 hours. She asked me not to msg her, she said it was the last time, because she is not allowed to talk to boys, by her parents.

This is uhh... kind of odd. You admit that she acted as though you were invisible, yet there's a hint of a questioning status in your post. If someone ignored me, I certainly wouldn't question if they maybe, sort of, probably, possibly liked me. Also, calling her randomly without having ever spoken to her on the phone before, and her never directly giving you her number or even saying it was okay that you had her number, just to hear her voice? Man, that's more than a little odd. Perhaps you don't see how peculiar these actions are, but trust me, bro, they are very awkward.

I think it's nice you're thinking of her on her birthday, but at the same time, I can't exactly say I'd be comfortable with the situation if I were in her shoes. I don't know what you want any of us to say, and I'm sure I won't say what you want to hear, but I would suggest you leave her be. Unless she shows some sort of interest in you, I'd back off. There's no forcing that type of thing.
 
M_also_lonely said:
There was a girl in my class when I was in school. I liked her very much, from the first time we talked till now.So about 5 years. We were so called friends.Like she would never approach to me to talk and would pass right from nearby me, ad if I was invisible. But would talk very sweetly when I would talk to her. I could never figure out what was she upto. What she felt about me. I once asked for her number which she didnt give.

But a few months ago I got her number indirectly. I called her to listen to her voice. As she said "Hello" for a few times, I cut the line.A few days later, I messaged her, "Hi". She didnt reply. She had got my number.
Today is her birthday. At the moment clock showed 12:00, I messaged her, "Happy Birthday". She didnt reply for a few minutes. But then she did. She thanked me and asked me how I got her number. Then we talked for about 2 hours. She asked me not to msg her, she said it was the last time, because she is not allowed to talk to boys, by her parents. (Yes, she isnt lying, it is everywhere in the place I live, most parents dont allow her to be friends with guys) I then told her everything about my feelings. Exactly how I felt for her.How I paid double money in hurry to give her a gift,which she had rejected, how I would wait for an hour for her to come just to see her for a few seconds. (In the last semester, she was in another batch, and there was a gap of 1 hr. I would wait everyday, to see her, until she went to the class.)
and how I cried after I saw her for the last time,which was 3 years ago.

People, I am not a person who could dare to express like those guys, what you call "Alphas" do, like he would go to her, impress her(I dont know how do they do it) But I promise, I would never cheat or betray, like those guys mostly do, and forget it within days.

She said "You were literally mad, why did you cry for me?"
I told her the rest.How much I liked her, and how she would ignore me.
Then she said, "Ok sorry for hurting, bye" and left.

I want to know what she felt about me.
1. If she wad interested in talking to me, she could keep in touch any how, or would ask a little like "How are you?" "Where r u" "What work do you do?" , which she didn't.
2 If she hated me, she would talk to me for two hours, she could block me, which she didnt.


So what was she really upto? Was I annoying her? I asked her to tell me Clearly if she didnt like to talk to me. But she said "nthing like that" So what did she actually have in her mind?

Dude, what the fresia?

You haven't learned anything from the constant advice people have given. Stop lurching from one unobtainable classroom girl to the next, concentrate on expanding your own horizons a bit and you will create your own opportunities to find love/sex/companionship/all of the above, whatever it is you are looking for. You must break this cycle of basing your entire self worth on meeting a girl from your class, going in all guns blazing then posting your woes on here when you recieve the inevitable rejection. Like I've said before, happy people generate their own warmth, which makes them more attractive to other people. The frantic desperation of "must get a girlfriend at any cost" thing is not the route to the happiness you seek. If that means waiting for the right girl then so be it. But you might as well be happy in the meantime....
 
TheRealCallie said:
M_also_lonely said:
Then what about the feelings I had for her???

And why would she talk to me at late night for 2 long hours?

Not to be rude here, but what about your feelings? They don't entitle you to be in her life if she doesn't want you there. The feelings are unrequited, sorry dude, but it's time to let it go. Honestly, this sounds dangerously close to stalkerish behavior. Not saying you are stalking her, but it seems pretty close to that line.

She could have talked to you because she was bored or maybe she didn't want to be rude and tell you to fresia off. Who knows, it could be anything, but you aren't entitled to a reason and even if you were, you likely wouldn't get one.

Not to be rude here, but fresia off.
Honestly, this sounds dangnerosly close to draining of my self confidence. Not saying you are killing the little self esteem that I have in me, but it seems pretty close to that line.
 
Okay lets keep this civil.
 
VanillaCreme said:
M_also_lonely said:
There was a girl in my class when I was in school. I liked her very much, from the first time we talked till now.So about 5 years. We were so called friends.Like she would never approach to me to talk and would pass right from nearby me, ad if I was invisible. But would talk very sweetly when I would talk to her. I could never figure out what was she upto. What she felt about me. I once asked for her number which she didnt give.

But a few months ago I got her number indirectly. I called her to listen to her voice. As she said "Hello" for a few times, I cut the line.A few days later, I messaged her, "Hi". She didnt reply. She had got my number.
Today is her birthday. At the moment clock showed 12:00, I messaged her, "Happy Birthday". She didnt reply for a few minutes. But then she did. She thanked me and asked me how I got her number. Then we talked for about 2 hours. She asked me not to msg her, she said it was the last time, because she is not allowed to talk to boys, by her parents.

This is uhh... kind of odd. You admit that she acted as though you were invisible, yet there's a hint of a questioning status in your post. If someone ignored me, I certainly wouldn't question if they maybe, sort of, probably, possibly liked me. Also, calling her randomly without having ever spoken to her on the phone before, and her never directly giving you her number or even saying it was okay that you had her number, just to hear her voice? Man, that's more than a little odd. Perhaps you don't see how peculiar these actions are, but trust me, bro, they are very awkward.

I think it's nice you're thinking of her on her birthday, but at the same time, I can't exactly say I'd be comfortable with the situation if I were in her shoes. I don't know what you want any of us to say, and I'm sure I won't say what you want to hear, but I would suggest you leave her be. Unless she shows some sort of interest in you, I'd back off. There's no forcing that type of thing.

What's so ackward if I wish her on her birthday....If a smart, handsome guy wishes you first on your birthday, you go crazy and you are like "Wow, he made my day special by wishing me first....He is so caring" etc etc.....But whhen a person like me tries to wish, it becomes "more than a little odd"

Don't I have even the right just to listen if she is fine and everything us ok with her in life.? What so ackward in that? Is me not a smart guy and doing such a thing an ackward act. Do I need to be good looking, handsome, rich to wish her.....Because when these kind of guys wish you, you really go mad......And when me, you say "its ackward"

And FYI she thanked me for remembering her birthday, as nine of her friends did without reminder.......
 
It has NOTHING to do with what you look like. She did NOT want you to have her number before, but you decided you should have it anyway and got it. Then you called her and hung up. You also sit around and wait for her, just to "see" her. You went against HER wishes and did what YOU thought was best. That's odd and creepy, yes and it would still be odd and creepy if you were a ******* supermodel.

And no, you have no rights when it comes to her, she told you she didn't want you having her number or being in her life. Respect her wishes. It's not about you or your rights. Leave the girl alone. You said yourself she isn't allowed to talk to boys, so you will just get her in trouble. But, it sounds like it's all about what YOU want here....
 
I would let it go. It doesn't sound like it can end well. From my experience people don't usually react well when you cry over them or wait for them after class etc. If she mutually reciprocated your feeling before that happened then it would be a bit different but if she's sort of neutral towards you then such type of behaviour puts her under pressure and dating you wouldn't be on her mind.
I am sorry to say but if she was interested in you she would have looked for, tried to talk to you etc. I'm not really sure you can swoon a person who didn't think much one way or the other about you.
 
M_also_lonely said:
What's so ackward if I wish her on her birthday....If a smart, handsome guy wishes you first on your birthday, you go crazy and you are like "Wow, he made my day special by wishing me first....He is so caring" etc etc.....But whhen a person like me tries to wish, it becomes "more than a little odd"

Don't I have even the right just to listen if she is fine and everything us ok with her in life.? What so ackward in that? Is me not a smart guy and doing such a thing an ackward act. Do I need to be good looking, handsome, rich to wish her.....Because when these kind of guys wish you, you really go mad......And when me, you say "its ackward"

And FYI she thanked me for remembering her birthday, as nine of her friends did without reminder.......

It's a little awkward because she's not the one who gave you her number for you to text or call. If before that, you had said that the two of you went out together as friends or laughed and talked as friends, I wouldn't say anything about it. But the simple fact is you attained her number by working around the fact she didn't want to give it to you.

If a person - smart and handsome or not - messaged me for any means when I know for sure I hadn't given him my number, I'd be more than a little confused as to why he was messaging, not to mention how he accomplished getting my number. I get the feeling that you believe you're entitled to be in her life and you're not.

And I honestly don't know what you mean by a person like you. It's really more about your actions. Although I think it was nice you wished her a happy birthday, perhaps being more on a friendly level would have done the notion better.
 
Was there a part of you that thought messaging a girl who had declined to give you her number, telling her you cried about her and telling her you would wait for hours just to see her, would actually do anything besides creeping her out? Girls would be creeped out by that kind of behaviour from any guy, regardless of appearance.

Also you haven't even seen her for three years? The time to move on was long ago.
 
TheRealCallie said:
That's odd and creepy, yes and it would still be odd and creepy if you were a ******* supermodel.

No personal offense intended, Callie.. but.. what you said there, even when taken less-literally, it's not quite the world we live in. The handsome and confident get a free ticket for many things. I wish it was a different world, too, though

As an aside, even if you think what he did was creepy and stalkerish, how about considering his fragile state of mind here as well?
 
I really don't think how he looks matters when she just doesn't seem to want any bother out of him.
 
Batman55 said:
TheRealCallie said:
That's odd and creepy, yes and it would still be odd and creepy if you were a ******* supermodel.

No personal offense intended, Callie.. but.. what you said there, even when taken less-literally, it's not quite the world we live in. The handsome and confident get a free ticket for many things. I wish it was a different world, too, though

As an aside, even if you think what he did was creepy and stalkerish, how about considering his fragile state of mind here as well?

That's the world YOU live in because that's what you choose to believe. I have seen good looking men get restraining orders on them. Even the handsome and confident have to obey the law. And I've seen many good looking guys get turned down. It's not all about how you look and as soon as you let go of that, maybe you'll get ahead a little more.

As to what I said, I speak what I think based on what I see and read. Not just from one post, necessarily, but from many. I won't sugarcoat it or coddle people just because we are on this particular forum, because it won't do anyone any good, and could actually make them worse. I stand by what I said and I would say it again. I won't go into it any further than that in open post.
 
M_also_lonely said:
TheRealCallie said:
M_also_lonely said:
Then what about the feelings I had for her???

And why would she talk to me at late night for 2 long hours?

Not to be rude here, but what about your feelings? They don't entitle you to be in her life if she doesn't want you there. The feelings are unrequited, sorry dude, but it's time to let it go. Honestly, this sounds dangerously close to stalkerish behavior. Not saying you are stalking her, but it seems pretty close to that line.

She could have talked to you because she was bored or maybe she didn't want to be rude and tell you to fresia off. Who knows, it could be anything, but you aren't entitled to a reason and even if you were, you likely wouldn't get one.

Not to be rude here, but fresia off.
Honestly, this sounds dangnerosly close to draining of my self confidence. Not saying you are killing the little self esteem that I have in me, but it seems pretty close to that line.
I'm sorry M, but I agree with Callie on this (for once).

She told you she didn't want you to have her number, you got it anyway. Worse thing is that you used it.
You called her just to hear her voice, then hung up. Did you think about how creepy that was for her? What if you got a phone call from a strange number and someone just hung up after you said hello?
You texted her to say Happy Birthday at the stroke of midnight, and she doesn't even really know you and didn't give you her number.
Most people are even asleep by then, it's usually not appropriate to text anyone that late at night, let alone someone you don't know.

What made you think doing these things were okay? Just because you feel some connection with her? Just because you like the way she looks and sounds?
These are things a stalker would do, M, not things a nice person like you should be doing. I think you're confusing 'being nice' with things that cross people's personal space boundaries. People want personal things, like phone numbers, to remain personal. When people they don't know get their number they feel invaded.

It isn't about how you look or how popular you are. It's more about how close you are with that person. You aren't close with her, she ignores you. She never gave you her number. She doesn't even consider you a friend, no matter how much you want her to be a friend (or more than a friend).

And a normal time to call/text people is during the day, when they are awake.
Just try to consider the other person's feelings here before you go and start calling/texting people you don't even know.

This kind of behavior will only chase people away. It's definitely not the way to get friends, or a girlfriend.

Often when we're lonely we become desperate and do things outside of the norm, or don't even realize what the normal situation is because we have been so secluded from it. So don't blame yourself, you didn't know.

Don't let this destroy your confidence. Let it be a lesson you can learn to build more confidence and to become a better person. You can do it. :)
 

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