This helped me a lot..."Don't Throw Your Pearls to Swine"

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HappyYogi

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Just wanted to share an idea I learned in one of my spiritual books that helped me a lot.

The message is "if someone is not receptive to you, rejects you or ignores you, it means they are not open to your energy". I am paraphrasing here but that is the jist.

This really helped me sooo much! I decided to pay attention to those who were and those who were not open to my energy. I am always nice, of course, but I decided if I am going to give any relationship energy, I am going to give it to those who are "open" to me.

What a difference it makes! If they are open to your energy they are more likely to respond back in kindness and interest. Showing interest to someone who is not open to you is a waste of time. For whatever reason, their own personal biases, wants or needs, they are just not interested. Most of the time it is not personal! Most of the time it's about them.

I highly recommend this book for they have whole chapters on this. It's called "Personal Power Through Awareness" by Sanaya Roman.

Some of the tidbits (I'd love to type the whole thing but I cannot).

"Do not make you or the other person wrong"
"You cannot have a healing connection if you see yourself as wrong or lacking"
"If you are feeling bad about a relationship, say to yourself 'I am perfect as I am'"
When with another, ask yourself "Do I feel good? Do I feel high? or am I feeling inadequate?" There is absolutely no reason to be around anyone who makes you feel bad about yourself.
If you feel depreciated and angry, that person may not value you.
"As you heal and change the drama within yourself, you will find that you do not attract those types of interactions anymore".
"There is no reason to put yourself in a situation where you feel depreciated, unloved and undervalued".
"Loving someone does not mean making their feelings more important than your own."
*****"When you are feeling depreciated, angry, or drained it is a sign that other people are not open to your energy".

Anyways, just giving my attention to those who are open to me has changed my life and made relationships easier. They are the easiest people with whom to be friends with. Don't throw your pearls to swine.
 
HoodedMonk...I would agree to temper yourself if you are turning others off. If there is a passage in there that refers to that, I'll post!
 
I think most of it is really good advice for instance not being around someone who makes you feel bad about yourself and if someone rejects you then they are not open to your energy so you need to focus on yourself rather than giving that particular interaction or relationship your time and effort. I have learnt from my own personal experiences that when someone is constantly trying to undervalue you and put you down it is all too easy to start becoming depressed which in turn affects your relationships with others even if you never intended it to,so I can see where the advice in the book can really help someone. However I believe we have to look at ourselves in relationships in order to grow and develop spiritually whilst also being true to ourselves. I tend to read books like this myself so will keep a look out for it,thank you.
 
Seraphina...

For whatever reason much of my life I was unconsciously trying to "win" others over who were not warm to me. I guess I thought if I was kind to them they'd give in return. I discovered that isn't the best way to go. In fact it's just the opposite. The more you try to "win" over someone who is wishy washy about you the more they disrespect you and value you less! It took me until my 40s to learn this!

It's so freeing to not give back any more than they are willing to receive and/or give back. I just mirror how they are to me and I am so much happier. I let them go and focus on giving my love/energy to others who welcome it.

Interesting story I wish I shared in my first post. My bf had a perfect experience of this. My bf is a very brainy intellectual guy. He also has social manners but he is brainy. He loves to talk ideas.

While my "friends" are educated I noticed many of them tired of his discussions. They weren't really "into" them. One of my friends even told me that he is too serious! By the way, i don't find him boring at all. I like men like this.

Anyways one time we were out one day we hooked up with two women for dinner. We saw them at a favorite restaurant and invited them to join us. They enjoyed my bf very much as he was discussing spiritual topics. They ate it up! The other friends, who have no spiritual interests, just don't care to discuss it at all.

I told him "A, these are the people to share yourself with. They appreciate you. Don't throw your pearls to swine".

All it mattered for him was the receptivity of others. If they are not receptive...just be cooler to them! Don't give them your pearls.
 

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