Is loneliness a state of being or a state of mind?

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oh-kay?

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I don't know about many here, but I find myself the loneliest when I place myself in situations where I fail to fulfill myself. I find, even when I am alone that you can occupy yourself with introspection to evaluate yourself as a person to make yourself a better individual.

Sometimes it is we who make yourself lonely because we have so little love for ourselves that we can't allow others the chance to get to know us. The brighter we shine the quicker the world recognizes us.
 
oh-kay? said:
Sometimes it is we who make yourself lonely because we have so little love for ourselves that we can't allow others the chance to get to know us. The brighter we shine the quicker the world recognizes us.

Try again Sigmund. Other people make you lonely by not giving you the chance to be with them because of how they judge you. They treat you like you are not good enough even though you are and there is nothing you can do.
 
BeyondShy said:
oh-kay? said:
Sometimes it is we who make yourself lonely because we have so little love for ourselves that we can't allow others the chance to get to know us. The brighter we shine the quicker the world recognizes us.

Try again Sigmund. Other people make you lonely by not giving you the chance to be with them because of how they judge you. They treat you like you are not good enough even though you are and there is nothing you can do.

Yeah, ok. That's pretty much a defeatist attitude that will keep you where you are for not trying or quite possibly trying too hard.

I was rejected many times when I was trying to find myself by trying to hard to be liked and pushed people away from me by filling the air with my own desperation.
 
oh-kay? said:
Yeah, ok. That's pretty much a defeatist attitude that will keep you where you are for not trying or quite possibly trying too hard.

I was rejected many times when I was trying to find myself by trying to hard to be liked and pushed people away from me by filling the air with my own desperation.

Maybe it is. Maybe it's an attitude from someone who has been rejected so much that he doesn't have much fight left in him for anything.

I don't think I am better than anyone else and I don't think anyone out there is better than me and I resent those bastards for not accepting me.
 
BeyondShy said:
Maybe it is. Maybe it's an attitude from someone who has been rejected so much that he doesn't have much fight left in him for anything.

What fight. Why are you fighting, how are you fighting and more important, whom are you fighting?
Defensiveness is not fighting, it's defending and many times it's defending against an internal image that is oblivious to those around you.

I don't think I am better than anyone else and I don't think anyone out there is better than me and I resent those bastards for not accepting me.

Why the hell would you want to be accepted by people who reject others for inane reasons? Would you want to be apart of the same ideals that have afflicted you?

Let me tell you about exclusionary people. They exclude everyone , even those within the group. They may hang together but they talk about each other as well as one and I. This is politics at it's core and it's apart of human nature.

Just look at this place here. Everybody here has virtually the same stain smeared on their soul as you and I and see how many people are here. Have they rejected you?
 
oh-kay? said:
Why the hell would you want to be accepted by people who reject others for inane reasons? Would you want to be apart of the same ideals that have afflicted you?

Because I am tired of being the one left out. There is no joy in being alone all the time.



oh-kay? said:
Just look at this place here. Everybody here has virtually the same stain smeared on their soul as you and I and see how many people are here. Have they rejected you?

Yes.
 
When my children are at school, or are asleep like now, this is the time when I feel more alone and have the tendency to overthink.

Most of the time though I rarely experience loneliness, so when I do, then I call this type of loneliness a state of loneliness. This state of loneliness doesn't feel so acute because presently I'm listening to classical music which is lovely and calming during the time I'm writing which is right now. After logging out of ALL, then I'll probably while away half an hour more writing another chapter before trying for bed again. What is keeping me awake is the state of mind I'm in caused by pain, rather than loneliness.

Some people, though, probably will experience loneliness only when it's a long rainy day and they have nothing to do, or when they go on vacation and are missing their acquaintences in their neighbourhood, or maybe their online friends. If during the day and it's raining and you are couped up with nothing to do, then bake a cake. :p
 
BeyondShy said:
Because I am tired of being the one left out. There is no joy in being alone all the time.

Would you welcome the chance to reject others? this would be your world if you were apart of this group.



How so?


Mouse said:
When my children are at school, or are asleep like now, this is the time when I feel more alone and have the tendency to overthink.

Most of the time though I rarely experience loneliness, so when I do, then I call this type of loneliness a state of loneliness. This state of loneliness doesn't feel so acute because presently I'm listening to classical music which is lovely and calming during the time I'm writing which is right now. After logging out of ALL, then I'll probably while away half an hour more writing another chapter before trying for bed again. What is keeping me awake is the state of mind I'm in caused by pain, rather than loneliness.

Some people, though, probably will experience loneliness only when it's a long rainy day and they have nothing to do, or when they go on vacation and are missing their acquaintences in their neighbourhood, or maybe their online friends. If during the day and it's raining and you are couped up with nothing to do, then bake a cake. :p

When devoid of the company that brings life to your world those, like yourself who are truly concerned with the quality of the life you give in return will always consult themselves.

It's not a grand adventure but an admirable one, but when has love ever been one of sensationalism. It's a thing of renewal and revitalizing of the spirit in us all.

There are only two days in a persons life that are important. The day you were born and the day you find out why.
 
oh-kay? said:
BeyondShy said:
Because I am tired of being the one left out. There is no joy in being alone all the time.

Would you welcome the chance to reject others? this would be your world if you were apart of this group.

I could not do that to anyone.
 
BeyondShy said:
oh-kay? said:
BeyondShy said:
Because I am tired of being the one left out. There is no joy in being alone all the time.

Would you welcome the chance to reject others? this would be your world if you were apart of this group.

I could not do that to anyone.

Then why do you get upset when you are rejected by those who do you that way. The only alternative would be that they accept you and in doing so adds you to their numbers which makes you apart of that by guilt of association.
 
oh-kay? said:
Then why do you get upset when you are rejected by those who do you that way. The only alternative would be that they accept you and in doing so adds you to their numbers which makes you apart of that by guilt of association.

I guess maybe that is how desperate I am to not be alone each day anymore. But not that desperate to do this to someone else. So being alone would be the better option because I don't want to return the favor.

ladyforsaken said:
I'm curious about this too. How so?

Really, what do you care?
 
BeyondShy said:
Really, what do you care?

I have to wonder if you do this IRL too. How much is it people rejecting you and how much is it you rejecting people before you can get hurt again? It's like a defense mechanism to you. You read things that aren't there and get paranoid that it's worst case scenario.

Just my thoughts on the matter, of course...perhaps I'm wrong.

Disclaimer: if there are any typos, I'll fix them when I get back to my computer. Lol. Autocorrect hates me on this phone. :club:
 
TheRealCallie said:
I have to wonder if you do this IRL too. How much is it people rejecting you and how much is it you rejecting people before you can get hurt again? It's like a defense mechanism to you. You read things that aren't there and get paranoid that it's worst case scenario.

Just my thoughts on the matter, of course...perhaps I'm wrong.

Maybe so. I mean it could be. I have been rejected so much that I am fed up with it now. Really, it's too much.

TheRealCallie said:
Disclaimer: if there are any typos, I'll fix them when I get back to my computer. Lol. Autocorrect hates me on this phone. :club:

No typos. You did a great job.
 
BeyondShy said:
I guess maybe that is how desperate I am to not be alone each day anymore. But not that desperate to do this to someone else. So being alone would be the better option because I don't want to return the favor.

The reason I asked that i to find out why you wanted to get into a certain group. Not all groups are the same and I would believe that there would be some more open to you than not. If you see all groups like this, then it might very well be you projecting your own self image out on others and end up rejecting them because you are so convenced that they would never accept you because of that self image.. I did that for a very long time and I know the consequences of it. It is like a self fulfilling prophecy of emptiness, but that emptiness is only a fictional image of yourself that only you see.

ladyforsaken said:
I'm curious about this too. How so?

Really, what do you care?

She cared enough to ask. Have you ever thought that she wanted to know out of fear she had said something that hurt you? Not all inquiries are malevolent.
 
oh-kay? said:
The reason I asked that i to find out why you wanted to get into a certain group. Not all groups are the same and I would believe that there would be some more open to you than not. If you see all groups like this, then it might very well be you projecting your own self image out on others and end up rejecting them because you are so convenced that they would never accept you because of that self image.. I did that for a very long time and I know the consequences of it. It is like a self fulfilling prophecy of emptiness, but that emptiness is only a fictional image of yourself that only you see.

I haven't found one yet that is accepting. And if people don't accept me why should I accept them now? What is the use?



oh-kay? said:
She cared enough to ask. Have you ever thought that she wanted to know out of fear she had said something that hurt you?

Not for one second.
 
BeyondShy said:
Maybe so. I mean it could be. I have been rejected so much that I am fed up with it now. Really, it's too much.

Life is never too much, my friend. It's a roller coaster at times, but it's never too much.

The difficulty comes when people become satisfied with only living it and that's when we favor existence over living life. Those two concepts might be a continuance of the self, but are very far apart when you take into account the velocity we want to experience life at.
 
oh-kay? said:
BeyondShy said:
ladyforsaken said:
I'm curious about this too. How so?

Really, what do you care?

She cared enough to ask. Have you ever thought that she wanted to know out of fear she had said something that hurt you? Not all inquiries are malevolent.

That's true, actually. Believe it or not.

BeyondShy said:
oh-kay? said:
She cared enough to ask. Have you ever thought that she wanted to know out of fear she had said something that hurt you?

Not for one second.

You know, how can people even reach out to you if you shoot them down before anything happens or you don't explain the message you wanna put across?
 
BeyondShy said:
I haven't found one yet that is accepting. And if people don't accept me why should I accept them now? What is the use?

Have you reached out or merely reached inward?



oh-kay? said:
She cared enough to ask. Have you ever thought that she wanted to know out of fear she had said something that hurt you?

Not for one second.

Then that second of thought was lost. There is a difference between acting and reacting.
 
oh-kay? said:
The brighter we shine the quicker the world recognizes us.
This is true but it doesnt end there, obviously. If we shine not only does the world notice but we ourselve's notice ourselve's too. This very principle, or mechanism, could be considered the positive equivalent of a/the 'self fulfilling prophecy' as it has the opposite effect on us and on/in the ones we reach as such, it builds confidence and from there derives stability. The trouble with (any amount/sort of) confidence however is that a state of mind isnt constant but fluctuates and it is at such times, when we find ourselve's (thrown) back to ourselve's again, especially when we are alone, we start to doubt our newly gained brightness and could easily fall back a few notches. We should take into account that one's own state of mind will/can make us socially 'desirable'/acceptable but that we, or anyone for that matter, cannot expect it to be of a continuous nature, not in our psyche and not in the eyes of the/any beholder. There will always be (your) lesser days/times, the presence of less loving/occupied people, as there will be the very opposite. In the end it will all be about finding balance and spending enough time with ourselve's to reflect and introspect (yes just like you allready mentioned :) ).

Hope I make/made myself 'readable' as my english isnt as eloquent as yours.
 

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