I feel embarrassed and guilty all the time. Anyone else?

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loadedgun

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I constantly feel embarrassed and/or guilty. I hate it. I'll think about something I did or something that happened years ago and be consumed with embarrassment. Also I'll find myself fine throughout the day (for the most part) but when I lie in bed at night I will pick apart every word or action of mine throughout the day and convince myself it was wrong/embarrassing/shameful.

I wish I could stop this behavior it really makes what small amount of self esteem I have left slowly deteriorate. :(
 
I'm not like this, but I do understand it.

You are essentially living in the past, which does nothing hurt you. What happened in the past, you can't change. What you CAN do is makes amends, if you feel you did something that hurt someone else (this includes things you did to YOU, as well). Apologize, make it right, forgive YOURSELF and try to move on. Raking yourself with guilt and grief is only dragging you down more.

Try to keep yourself busy until you are too tired to think at night. Find something to keep your mind off the thoughts that are torturing you. You are not the person you were in the past. You are not the person you were yesterday. Move forward, recognize your shortcomings and change what can be changed and accept what can't.
 
It's anxiety. When I'm feeling especially anxious, I start to feel embarrassed and guilty too. I'm not sure I have any words of wisdom to impart at the moment but when I realize my feelings are symptoms of anxiety, I feel like it's a start to beating it since I know what the real issue is.

-Teresa
 
I don't have any words of wisdom either, but I'm always second guessing and picking apart what I've said or done, sometimes years ago, sometimes that very day.......pretty much always thinking I put the wrong foot forward.

I've been an anxiety neurotic, off and on, all my life and I dwell on the past too much too, but the real issue when I'm kicking myself for putting the wrong foot forward, is just an inferiority complex on my part.

I'm probably getting a bit better about that. I think. Maybe.
 
Judging your action later, feeling embarrassing, wrong and guilty, All are part of being a good heart. You have heart that's why you feel it but Don't indulge too much in those. As Callie said, What is past is past, It's buried deep in the fabric of time what you can do is learn from your mistakes and bad calls and sad memories and move ahead on life. Like, I had read somewhere here in Quotes' section...

Visiting the past is good thing but living in it is not good

So, I will say do the same, Take what you have learned from them and try to move on, little by little.

You said, you are good through out the day and it happens especially at night before you sleep, then I would say pick something to read during those hours, A book perhaps or something boring enough to make you sleep Or you can tire yourself to the point of exhaustion through out the day so that as soon as you hit the bed you sleep instantly without having time for any thoughts.

I too have those thoughts but I ward them off before they bring me down If I hadn't moved ahead I wouldn't be here writing in this post, so that is what you can do, learn and accept things and try to do better next time.
 
loadedgun said:
I constantly feel embarrassed and/or guilty. I hate it. I'll think about something I did or something that happened years ago and be consumed with embarrassment. Also I'll find myself fine throughout the day (for the most part) but when I lie in bed at night I will pick apart every word or action of mine throughout the day and convince myself it was wrong/embarrassing/shameful.

I wish I could stop this behavior it really makes what small amount of self esteem I have left slowly deteriorate. :(

I know exactly what you mean. I do this too! Just like that, going over conversations, remembering embarrassing things from yesterday or last week or even years ago. Was I mean, was I embarrassing, how can I show my face?

The weirdest fix for it happened to me one day. You don't say how old you are, but I had a child, and one day that child did one of the same things that I did, that made me feel embarrassed, stupid and shameful. But when she did it, it wasn't. I could be loving and gentle to her but not to me. So, I still do this self-beat-up, but when I do this I imagine her doing the same thing, and if it's ok with me that she did it, then I can let it go. That's my gauge. And if it's not ok, then I ask what I would expect for her to do in my place, and I can do that. And OMG what a relief it's been.

So, do you have someone that you love so much, that you can use for this purpose? Someone you are loving and gentle to? Just an idea, that seems to work for me.
 
I have this happen to me when I'm strugging. For me it's a sign that I've sunk too deep into my own head and it's time to be consciously kind to myself for a while.

Sometimes gives really good advice -- you should be at least as good to yourself as you are to the people you love. It's difficult to get started, but after a while it does start to come automatically.
 
That happens to me too. However, it's mostly about stuff from high school. Hell, i'm pretty much the only one out of my classmates that remembers all of the stuff from grade school. Exercising helps me with that anxiety.
 

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