Which one is appropriate?

Ok, assume that somebody around you has no respect for you, doesnt care for you at all and always avoids you. What would you do out of two?

1. Stop worrying about it.
2. Make him (preferably by good means) respect you, consider you, love you, befriend you etc.???

Because I have never feel satisfied, happy, accompanied, etc. because everyone around me does to me that mentioned above.
So if you say 1. , then I would be against the whole world around me. and if 2. Then it feels like I am running after them.
So what shall I do out of two which could get me a person as a friend? Or a companion or someone who thinks about me out of care?

When someone is disrespectful to you, show them respect, love, and kindness. In that order. Give it a week or two like this. If they don't develop a respect for you, than they are not worth your time and defer back to option one. Always give people the benefit of a doubt.

Just be yourself, try not to worry about it, people are who they are. If they don't like you for whatever reason you can't make them like you. Not worrying about it doesn't mean you ignore them, you can still be friendly and hopefully change their mind about you but you don't have to let it get you down.

The best friend I ever had started off hating my guts. I know this for a fact as I caught him telling someone else how much he disliked me. I didn't try and change his opinion of me and I didn't ignore him either - I just carried on being myself. It is NEVER worth changing yourself in order to gain the love/respect/friendship of another, because in the end their opinion of you will never be as important as your own opinion of yourself.

I go with option 1, but I usually do worry about it a bit.

I don't like option 2. It's too needy for me and seems to put the control in the other person's hands.

If the person who's been dissing me hasn't been too obnoxious about it and then shows a change in tone of their own volition, I'm usually open to considering an entente cordial.

I think neither option will work, you have to fuse those two together into one. Worrying not about it not easy, I do worry If people don't show the same respect I give them. May be my blunt way to say things. Well, respect is earned but sometimes it's too hard to earn. Making them love you can't be forced so as you said, make them understand things from your perspective in healthy manner that is. And If you will be plane and simple in your words then they will understand and even if it doesn't make any dent then nothing can be helped, you can't expect them to change for you cause you wouldn't want to change yourself for them, adjust is recommended but change is not.

M_also_lonely said:

1. Stop worrying about it.

So if you say 1. , then I would be against the whole world around me.

Click to expand...

Why does not worrying about a person imply you are against the whole world? Even if everyone did this to you, it doesn't mean you're against them, it just means you're not worrying about them.

I think you have to fight for what you believe in, but there isn't enough time in the whole world to make everyone respect or care about you. So you should pick your battles wisely, fight those, and not worry about anything else.
That's how I live my life, anyway. I can't say it works out all that well for me, though, but I do my best.

M, I really don't know what to say. I know life sucks sometimes. I know how you feel, too. You just have to pick up and move on. You'll find others eventually, just try to be the best person you can be.

Cavey said:

The best friend I ever had started off hating my guts. I know this for a fact as I caught him telling someone else how much he disliked me. I didn't try and change his opinion of me and I didn't ignore him either - I just carried on being myself. It is NEVER worth changing yourself in order to gain the love/respect/friendship of another, because in the end their opinion of you will never be as important as your own opinion of yourself.

Click to expand...

How did you go from this guy hating you to being your best friend? That's quite a leap. Sounds like a story, if you don't mind sharing.

Cavey said:

The best friend I ever had started off hating my guts. I know this for a fact as I caught him telling someone else how much he disliked me. I didn't try and change his opinion of me and I didn't ignore him either - I just carried on being myself. It is NEVER worth changing yourself in order to gain the love/respect/friendship of another, because in the end their opinion of you will never be as important as your own opinion of yourself.

Click to expand...

I'd like to hear this story too! How did this person end up being your best friend?

TheSkaFish said:

Cavey said:

The best friend I ever had started off hating my guts. I know this for a fact as I caught him telling someone else how much he disliked me. I didn't try and change his opinion of me and I didn't ignore him either - I just carried on being myself. It is NEVER worth changing yourself in order to gain the love/respect/friendship of another, because in the end their opinion of you will never be as important as your own opinion of yourself.

Click to expand...

How did you go from this guy hating you to being your best friend? That's quite a leap. Sounds like a story, if you don't mind sharing.

Click to expand...

You never had someone in your life that you just didn't like at first... at all... for anything? I have a friend that I unfortunately don't talk to much anymore because she's busy with her bakery, that I just didn't like her at first. I thought she was a bit nippy. But we started talking through mutual people, and now, when we do talk, anything comes out of our mouths to each other. I wouldn't trade her friendship for anything in the world and I appreciate her being in my life.

Many friendships and relationships start out that way. It's great because you can laugh about it later.

Ever considered, "give respect to earn respect".. i dont ask you to be 2nd to any..but sometimes if you need smthing, u will hv to make a sacrifice or two.. coz nothing comes free.. or well rather rarely comes free.. the point is both the choices u hv put up are complicated.. i would rather recommend you to use a little bit of both. Dependant yet independant.. doh.. itz complicated to explain.. keep it balanced.. take it slow.. make a little bit of adjustment..let em know wt you feel.. coz i do kn wt u feel.. took me sm years to understand wt i was doing incorrect..

When someone has no respect for me, I usually carry on with my business and don't pay attention to them at all. If they talk to me on the other hand, I'll give them respect and be kind to them but nothing more. I'm usually very kind to everyone that I meet but I have met people who didn't like me right off the bat simply cause they didn't like me and I have no reason why. I never did anything to try to get them to change there mind though, I simply left them be.