Can you be successful and lonely?

Something I've been thinking about of late...I just can't seem to get a new job and I have been trying and trying and trying over the last year throwing applications out left right and centre, revamping my CV, writing better cover letters...but to no avail at all. I'm still stuck in my shitty job that im thinking of quitting for good in a couple of months. Whereas other people I've known with connections with friends have made there way onto the ladder and are working there way up, partner at their side earning nearly double what I do. I know I shouldnt be concerned with other people's lives but I wouldnt be able to challenge myself and settle for nothing as it seems is happening now. I want to do something with my life no matter how alone I am.

I'm so frustrated with this honeysuckle. I am trying and there is NO trying too hard to look for a job. Im thinking of working abroad and got two rejections in a day just this morning as another person left my current job off to a much better one. I feel like being lonely has just made life so much harder and I dont see my fortunes reversing. Ever since leaving university its been a uphill battle to get a good or enjoyable job.

It seems those in good jobs make better connections, get friends/acquaintances and expand their social circle so they are rarely in a situation as mine. Loneliness just kills your opportunities.

I'm in a bad mood for the fact more people have left my workplace since the start of this year than the whole of last year..its demoralizing after trying to get somewhere and get absolutely nowhere.

What a drag that is. I think you are right, about how being a lonely person hindering your opportunities. I had the same experience as a lonely person, and saw that people bring their work friends with them when they move, or call on them when their new place needs people. I often got left behind in that way, and doing excellent work didn't seem to be the factor. I worked my ass off, so that wasn't the key. It did, however, keep me safe during the layoffs :/

If CV sending isn't working, maybe you need to try being a little more creative, non-standard. I guess I don't have advice, but I did want to commiserate. I know where you're coming from.

You can be anything and lonely. Having good things or friends or family or even a good job doesn't mean you won't still be lonely.

There's that old saying it's who you know, not what you know when it comes to careers and it does ring true from time to time. Quite a few companies will favour the average worker who's popular over the better worker who's a loner. And I agree, sometimes it feels like your solitude is holding you back and turns otherwise simple tasks into challenges. As Sometimes said, moving home without friends to help can be pain and is just one example of how lonliness can make life harder.

But I've also done a lot in my life with lonliness. I've lived and worked around the globe, I've seen and done things that most other people can only dream of. So like TheRealCallie said, you can be anything and lonely but just because lonliness influences some aspects of life, it doesn't need to dominate all others.

In the late 80's, early 90's I couldn't get a job or a girlfriend.
I tied them both together. You have to be chosen in both cases.
I saw all my friends with both, great jobs and nice girlfriends.
For some reason anything was a struggle for me.
I had been branded 'LOSER' by society.

But yes I imagine it's really honeysuckle knowing you can get a better job and not
getting the opportunity. Like the other poster says 'it's who you know, not what you know'
Some people everything is easy for them. My Dad always said his younger brother would fall
into a river and come out with fish in his pockets. Of course that's a saying meaning everything his
brother did turned into gold.
Luck comes in to it.

I know a lot of successful people who are lonely, actually.
Some due to their own faults, some due to circumstantial changes

Wanderer145 said:

It seems those in good jobs make better connections, get friends/acquaintances and expand their social circle so they are rarely in a situation as min\
e. Loneliness just kills your opportunities.

Click to expand...

I feel like it opens doors. But you MUST be good to stay there and most of the times those with social contacts slack off on the jobs and then get fired and laid off. So you make 40K per year for 5 years and someone you admire right now makes 60K for 2 years followed by one year looking for a job. Who is really better off?

I do feel like I could never be successful at running my own business because many of my friends who do so are pretty and extroverted and 1/2 their clients are there just to look at them. But in the working world you CAN be successful and an introvert. It just takes more thinking outside the box.

I just came off a period where no one would hire me. I got so sick of it. But eventually someone did. I do feel like it was a hindrance to already have a job. The general advice is that it is what you need but it was hard to interview and NO one wanted to upset my last boss. But once he was fired, and not there, I got a job with one interview.

I also at one point in my career volunteered to work for someone else to get experience. So like I worked for free while I was on unemployment, betting that the guy would be too lazy to fire me. He was, he hired me.

Job searching can be a real soul-killer - I've been there, I know how it is. I've forced myself to network here and there even though striking up conversations with people I barely know doesn't come naturally to me.
I feel like it's possible to be lonely and successful - the best jobs I've had have come about mostly from dumb luck and being in the right place at the right time.
Keep on keepin' on is the best advice I can give.

-Teresa

I'd have to agree with a lot of others here that success and loneliness isn't necessarily tied. Also, I've known "successful" people who never seemed to be satisfied. They'd get a job and be unhappy with it in a few months. They'd get married and then suddenly think having kids would make them happy...it's a never-ending battle. Did I tell you about the time when a lawyer friend of mine got jealous of me because I happened to pack a heftier sandwich for lunch once? (And no, I'm not a lawyer.)

Feeling stuck in a job, job-searching, it's horrible for everyone.

Of course. Being successful and being lonely don't eliminate one another.