Oldyoung
Well-known member
- Joined
- May 11, 2012
- Messages
- 515
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This is a complaining post.. bear with me.
You hear these kind of stories all the time. People cheating on their partners. People having sex with at least one new person every weekend. People counting weeks or days since the last time they "did it". Stories that tell how human affection is easily accessible.
Though it seems like something going on in a parallel world. For me, getting an opportunity to simply touch someone is something that might happen once for every few years. Getting that comfortable with someone takes so much time, time that I don't have, and time that others don't have for me.
How can it be so quick and easy for some, and so difficult and time consuming for me/others?
Sometimes I feel quite depressed about not experiencing "closeness" with anyone, and how that's the normal state of life for me. At this point, I'm alienated from all of it.
And if I do get into a committed relationship of sorts down the line, I'd go insane if I was cheated on or in any way betrayed. Cause some people might not assign much value or meaning to sex and closeness in general, while I would see it as a scarcity I fought and suffered for. Something you can only get by being trustworthy, honest and more or less self sacrificing.
I wish I had the ability and skills to get the sex or whatever I'd want, in a sufficient quantity, at any time. Then I'd not feel like I'm missing out on some joys in life, and I'd be less afraid of betrayal.
You hear these kind of stories all the time. People cheating on their partners. People having sex with at least one new person every weekend. People counting weeks or days since the last time they "did it". Stories that tell how human affection is easily accessible.
Though it seems like something going on in a parallel world. For me, getting an opportunity to simply touch someone is something that might happen once for every few years. Getting that comfortable with someone takes so much time, time that I don't have, and time that others don't have for me.
How can it be so quick and easy for some, and so difficult and time consuming for me/others?
Sometimes I feel quite depressed about not experiencing "closeness" with anyone, and how that's the normal state of life for me. At this point, I'm alienated from all of it.
And if I do get into a committed relationship of sorts down the line, I'd go insane if I was cheated on or in any way betrayed. Cause some people might not assign much value or meaning to sex and closeness in general, while I would see it as a scarcity I fought and suffered for. Something you can only get by being trustworthy, honest and more or less self sacrificing.
I wish I had the ability and skills to get the sex or whatever I'd want, in a sufficient quantity, at any time. Then I'd not feel like I'm missing out on some joys in life, and I'd be less afraid of betrayal.