At least if my distant step grandfather Paul had kicked me out, I'd of been forced to get a life. Instead I let time pass, and things just seemed impossible, and plus I had extreme IBS. Kept thinking I would write books, but never got around to it. I had 4 projects that were kind of active, and whole outlines of others, but somehow or other I never got around to them. Two were close to being done, but I was not satisfied with them. One had been done, but I needed to improve in writing a lot more, which I did, but never got to finish the ones I meant to do, esp the non fiction. I guess I thought I would have all the answers someday, but I didn't have any answers to my own life. It would have been better to just get out there and do anything, being normal isn't so bad. I was hopeful, stubborn, and proud of heart, creative, passionate, but my interests were often rare, I needed professional help, too proud to waste time and money on things of that sort, and between IBS and everyone's horror tales, finding a job and place in life just seemed impossible. The very concept of investment and planning for the future thus eluded me, and spiritually its a very important one. I was oblivious to the subtleties of what spirit you are walking in, and how all the levels of reality blend together. Only in the modern world is it possible to be poor AND distracted by the deceitfulness of riches at the same time. Unbelivable.
Thank you
