Ongoing battle

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mslonely

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I'm crying, endlessly. My head hurts, my eyes have swollen and my heart is physically so sore. My heart is broken.

It's just one of those days, where I am just so tired, emotionally, physically and mentally. Tired of trying only to keep failing over and over. Failing to do things that others do so effortlessly, without fail.
I feel like giving up just by the thought of everything going wrong, the more positive i've become, the harder it is to hang on.
Even with the extra efforts, the hard work, the determination, the optimism, everythings seems to get worse.

It's such an ongoing battle, with no end in sight, a tiring battle. I'm desperate to stay live, to keep pushing and not willing to give up until that day of contentment. But, the harder I keep on trying, the harder I fall and fail. Right now, i'd appreciate a new life with new conversations and new opportunities. For some reason, I feel like i'd be happier.

I can feel the depression creeping in. Hopefully tomorrow will bring new and better opportunities, new positive emotions,and hopefully tomorrow the battle will be over :(
 
*Hugs* and understanding are all i can offer so if you need to talk please pm me
 
So sorry you feel this way. I know how horrid those days can be. Have you thought about talking to a Dr if you haven't already? I never thought they could actually help, but with my last bout, it did help.

Please look after yourself, if possible try and rest and have a day where you don't do anything that isn't essential. It might help you re-charge a little to be able to cope better.

Is the new life something you have been thinking about?

I hope things get a little easier for you.
 
mslonely said:
It's just one of those days, where I am just so tired, emotionally, physically and mentally. Tired of trying only to keep failing over and over. Failing to do things that others do so effortlessly, without fail.

This is the part I relate to the most. I feel this way most every day.

Take care there, MsLonely. You can always PM me if you wish.
 
*Hug*
I'm sorry this is how you feel ms lonely.. Do message if you ever need a listening ear and emotional support, I'm always open.

mslonely said:
Hopefully tomorrow will bring new and better opportunities, new positive emotions,and hopefully tomorrow the battle will be over :(

I hope this for you too.
 
Thank you all for your encouraging words, like delledonne11 mentioned, I need to take it one day at a time, something i've been failing to do. I'll be sure to try do this with success.
It's an everyday struggle, but it certainly needs one to hold on and continue to be positive, hoping for the best.


She-ra said:
So sorry you feel this way. I know how horrid those days can be. Have you thought about talking to a Dr if you haven't already? I never thought they could actually help, but with my last bout, it did help.

Please look after yourself, if possible try and rest and have a day where you don't do anything that isn't essential. It might help you re-charge a little to be able to cope better.

She-ra, I haven't considered a doctor, especially because my parents don't think I need one and they'd be the ones taking care of the financial expenses. I probably should talk to them about it in detail.
I went out for a walk, it cleared my mind a bit, I'm sure i'll get back on my feet.


She-ra said:
Is the new life something you have been thinking about?

I hope things get a little easier for you.

I think about it, but it'll never happen, or atleast not now, just wishful thinking.

Again, thank you all for your concern. I am very appreciative of it.I 'm feeling better than I did yesterday.
 
I can very much relate to this. I had a very long period in my life where getting through to the end of it was all that I could do.

Fortunately I am no longer in that same place (although chronically lonely), but I did want to chime in with one thing that may or may not help you. When I tried to keep a super positive attitude, I always seemed to fail. I felt like having a more realistic attitude was helpful, like I struggle with depression and I am going to have the best day possible instead of trying to strive for pure happiness. When I did become more happy, I realized that happy people have plenty of bad days, but they were blessed or worked hard to have a different mindset. However if you start from a depressed state, I feel like it's better to take baby steps or as you said, to take it one day at a time without expectations. You must be kind to yourself. No one wants to feel that way, ever.

Big hug to you.
 

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