Spending a lonely birthday

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edamame721

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My birthday is next week. I felt out some acquaintances, but they seem to be going through rough patches in their life. I asked my family to have dinner together, but they haven't all responded. No one is is being pro-active.

I feel pitiful having to ask for some attention. I feel like I don't matter. I've honestly thought that I could go missing for weeks and no one would even notice. I was trying to work myself up to at least do something nice for myself, but right now I might end up sitting at home and crying.
 
HoodedMonk said:
You matter. I would be happy to send you a birthday card. :)

Me too! Please do something nice for yourself too, we'd be very interested in hearing what you did and how it was. Take us along. *Hug*
 
I also recently had a birthday Edam and I didn't spend it with anyone, none of my friends where I live are even aware of when my birthday is and to be honest I am kinda okay about because there is no pressure on me to be something or to live up an expectation.

My recommendation is to have a "you" day, do all the things that make you happy that may not be able to do if others were around because they find them to be something they dislike. If there is something you can think of you would like to do but have not done in sometime take the opportunity to be a little bit selfish and use you birthday as an excuse to do so.

I know it is easier said than done and it is all very well for me to say these things especially as I don't know you but I do hope you find peace and happiness.
 
Well happy birthday but welcome to the club. Typically it is just like any other day. I think I would really be bummed if facebook didn't tell people it was my birthday. Last year my cat got very sick on my birthday. I spent the day at the emergency vet and worrying about him. Hopefully this year is better.
 
I know that feeling well edamame. You wonder whether it's worth trying to involve people in your life. But it is only ONE day. Whether or not you have an awesome birthday, why not try and have a good WEEK. Look for the good in people.
 
Happy Birthday edamame. Why not pop in the chat room at some point? Be nice to chat with you.
Treat yourself in some way. Take yourself out for dinner?
 
...at the very least, don't sit in a room, surrounded by silence, and let the silence drown you. I've done that over the last decade's worth of birthdays, and I don't look forward to the next one.
 
I'm gonna be contrarian here. What is so special about any person's birthday? I haven't celebrated mine in decades except for the perfunctory cake my birth family insists on buying me--and no candles on the cake, either, just my favorite type of cake. I turned 50 in June and didn't feel the slightest bit different from when I'd been 49 years and 364 days old. So i wish I could understand but I don't.
 
Dear Edamame, I know exactly how you feel... but as *you* feel that your birthday should be celebrated, just remember that even in case you end up "just you" at your birthday, it is not written in stone that it will happen always, or ever again. I support what others have voiced, to have a "you" day.
Just plan ahead, because by experience without plans the birthday blues makes it really difficult to take any initiative, and staying in and having a self pity party is a VERY attractive idea.
 
I can very much relate to the feeling of somewhat of an abandonment on your birthday. I hadn't realized it, but for my birthday, I took off the setting on Facebook which reminds everyone else that it's my birthday. Do you know how many people remembered it was my birthday? Hardly any, including my best friends. At the end of the day, I can't hold it against anyone, yes, we're all busy, but it does feel a bit sad and like I was unimportant. I can understand when one member commented on how birthdays are somewhat culturally contrived, what does it matter that you're a year older or not (I get this perspective), but most people would probably agree that it's your day to feel loved and special and remembered. And, despite the lack of people coming through yet, you likely are all of those things, it's just not being communicated to you very well at the moment. Since your birthday is next week, maybe someone will come through unexpectedly OR like everyone else is suggesting, you'll have to make it a YOU day as a substitute.
 
Hi, just wanted to thank everyone here for their support and sharing their experiences. I ended up alone, but I did manage to take myself out for a movie (loved it!) and then for a meal (very awkward for me and always has been). I also received a handful of birthday messages. My family did finally get back to me and promised a belated dinner. So in all I'm relieved and glad I was proactive after all. I'm not exactly happy but no longer disappointed and sad. I'm also very grateful to everyone here who took the time to listen to me and wish me the best.

I hope your next birthday is a good one! *hugs*
 
edamame721 said:
Hi, just wanted to thank everyone here for their support and sharing their experiences. I ended up alone, but I did manage to take myself out for a movie (loved it!) and then for a meal (very awkward for me and always has been). I also received a handful of birthday messages. My family did finally get back to me and promised a belated dinner. So in all I'm relieved and glad I was proactive after all. I'm not exactly happy but no longer disappointed and sad. I'm also very grateful to everyone here who took the time to listen to me and wish me the best.


I am glad you had a good birthday and it turned out well for you.

Mine was last week and I spent mine alone too.
 
Mine is coming up and I'm in the same boat. I usually go out and spend an obscene amount of money on something. Then I go somewhere nice for dinner that has a bar, like Mortons or Ruth's Chris. Eating at the bar doesn't seem as bad because there isn't an empty chair facing you during your meal. Usually do that for Thanksgiving and Christmas, too.
 
In the last 2-3 years I've always spent my birthday alone. Usually I'd just buy some good food and drinks. That's it.
Luckily my last birthday was a little different since I had joined ALL not too long before :)
 
My last birthday and many others, I spent alone. So you're not the only one having gone through this.

Happy birthday. I'm glad you made something out of it, by going to the movies.
 
edamame721 said:
My birthday is next week. I felt out some acquaintances, but they seem to be going through rough patches in their life. I asked my family to have dinner together, but they haven't all responded. No one is is being pro-active.

I feel pitiful having to ask for some attention. I feel like I don't matter. I've honestly thought that I could go missing for weeks and no one would even notice. I was trying to work myself up to at least do something nice for myself, but right now I might end up sitting at home and crying.

hey there i know how youre feeling i spent my 21st bday all alone. no calls or messages i felt like i didn't matter either what cheered my up was buying myself a present the next day try it maybe... sorry if i was not much help :/
 
I've never had a TV birthday. With a lot of friends and presents. In fact, I haven't even celebrated my birthday in the last 10 years at least.
 

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