Are people actually more social than you?

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edamame721

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Sometimes it feels like you're the one always getting left out because the person you call or text has other plans or just doesn't feel like hanging out. Going to social media sites like Facebook makes it seem like your friends are always doing something with someone...but is this really all just some halo effect? I know people who stay indoors on Fridays or who go grocery shopping on the weekend -- I do it often also. So why do we still think we're missing out and take things personally when friends and others say no?
 
I totally get you Edamame. I have friends who do this. Sure they meet up with you occasionally, but they prefer hanging out with other people.

It makes me feel super left out. In one way, I know my negativity exhausts people so this I am trying to change. Some people have reacted to it positively so thats good. But I think the main reason is that my friends and I have become very different now. I gave up the drinking, overspending, overindulging lifestyle for a healthier one because my goals have changed. While this makes me happier, it also means that my friends no longer have much in common with me.

I guess my case is different than yours, but I just wanted to say that feel ya. It sucks to feel left out.
 
NOONE is more sociable than me :D but they are much more skilled at expressing it without looking disgusting/needy/aloof/godknowswhat
 
What I find interesting is, as long as you are sociable in all the "accepted" ways.... your fine!
Seems like these accepted ways vary from social circle to social circle.

Veruca said it best when some her friends began drifting from her due to her more positive lifestyle choices.
Peaches was spot on, when indicating that she is very sociable but not always certain if she is expressing it in an acceptable way.
Whatever that may be. More importantly why would that matter?

It seems we get left out on stuff when we don't always act in the manner that others want.
I've always found that to be the most interesting element in social circles.

Me personally... As long as you mean well, and you clearly mean no disrespect or harm;
I could careless whatever your aloof quirks or unusual weirdness you may exhibit.
If we're really a social circle of good friends, why would any of that matter?

Unless of course we are speaking about fake friendships, then of course... anything goes!
 
I am an introvert. And homebody. I enjoy being at home. So yeah there are more sociable people than me.
 
Most people are more social than I am. But I am very sociable. I've learned how to be very friendly to everyone just on the street, and how to feel friendly while I'm doing it. I really mean it when I'm doing it. But it rarely results in anything deeper, which might result in being social.

In the past I was extremely sensitive to being overlooked and left out, and was depressed and angry about it. I changed my lifestyle so that I'm rarely confronted with this. I guess that's a form of giving in and giving up. But I'm happier not to have it pushed in my face. Now that I'm not being drained by that anger, my cup is more full, and I can afford to give love away a little without worrying about whether it's returned.
 
I can be a sociable person, but my cousins and family members put me down for so long I felt like I wasn't worthy to be around for the longest time. It wasn't until I noticed that they were the ones with the problem, not me and that they had issues, I'm working on building up my self esstem again
 
I guess I've always known that other people are very forgetful. I used to have a friend who'd often have to help out with family matters on short notice, and would do it because she was very close with her family and they kind of relied on her sometimes. Sometimes she'd go home and just fall asleep for the evening, forgetting about her phone entirely. Very busy person.

My problem has alternately been that I can't find anyone at all, that I can't find anyone I feel is a good companion for me, or that I'm in a poor place for meeting new people. Feels like I worked past the worst of anxiety for nothing.
 
Don't get upset when people say "No".

Crying and complaining about it does nothing.
 
I pretty much think hermits are more social than me, I just never had any luck being social, I tried more than a few times, but I find it hard making friends or even just people to talk to.

I tried a lot, I would talk to people with the same interests and just never got anywhere, I pretty much think I have an aura that puts people off on me for some reason, yeah talking here and there but never become friends or anything.
 
Bob Lee said:
What I find interesting is, as long as you are sociable in all the "accepted" ways.... your fine!

Exactly. I think the general view of what it means to be social is very narrow. Many people seem to think that the more you speek and the more you make noice about yourself, the more confident and social you are. Or that being social means you have tons of friends, with whom you go out every weekend. But in my opinion listening to what others have to say is a far more important aspect of being social than talking yourself. And you can be social and still like to spend friday or saturday evenings home alone or with just one or two friends.
I think everyone has their own way of being social.
 
I'm in the Bob Lee and Speak-volumes boat. I'm deeply introverted (though, when I get comfortable with someone I can seem quite extroverted - with that particular person), quiet; quirky. I prefer quality over quantity. This is apparently at odds with what is currently socially acceptable.

I like how you put that, Speak-volumes: "Everyone has their own way of being social." That is absolutely true. It's rather a shame, I think, that outside of the narrowly defined acceptable social code that many follow, this is overlooked; shunned, instead of embraced. What they're all missing out on by so casually dismissing what often turn out to be intensely interesting folk.
 
Strangely enough, I find most people rather awkward; sometime much more that me. At the same time, I feel they try to socialize to avoid that awkwardness. I stopped being afraid of people; making me look indiferent. Sure, we all have those moments when many eyes are put over us, but I'm totally immune to social interactions in the sense that I do not care if they go awkward or not.

Because in the end, what's to fear? If you don't suffer from some anxiety, you should look at the situations and see they are nothing more than a couple of meaningless words.

Fear violence, fear lies and manipulation. But not fear conversation.
 
Speak-volumes said:
Exactly. I think the general view of what it means to be social is very narrow. Many people seem to think that the more you speek and the more you make noice about yourself, the more confident and social you are. Or that being social means you have tons of friends, with whom you go out every weekend. But in my opinion listening to what others have to say is a far more important aspect of being social than talking yourself. And you can be social and still like to spend friday or saturday evenings home alone or with just one or two friends.
I think everyone has their own way of being social.

Can't say much better than that.
 
I hate social people. My ex best friend of 20 years was Mr. social. He could strike up a conversation with anyone and it was so ******* annoying. It got to the point where sometimes it was suppose to be just a guys night out with he and I, until he would strike up a conversation with other people and invite them to join us. It was one of the main reasons I finally cut ties.
 
The more I try to embed myself into social situations, the more I see how broken society really is... most people I see are social within their own cliques and are very anti-social beyond that. True, there are people that can be sociable with anyone and everyone, but for the most part, everywhere I go it's always cliques.

So, at least for me, the incentive to try to "fix" myself to enter into a broken system is dwindling and dwindling.
 

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