truth hurts

what do you say when people question the things you do?....who do you talk to when you have no one to talk to?...

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i have this so called friend that called me while i was at work on tuesday...he said where have you been ...youre always working....you forgot about the poor people...i laughed it off.....and he said im serious....youre always working....thats why no one likes you or hangs out with you....anf he asked where are you right now....and i answered well obiously im working since you called me to my work phone....and he continued to rant about how no one hangs out with me or calls me because im always at work.....for the most part yes im at work...i mean its during the week and also its my responsibility.....but wha he said it kinda hit a nerve cause its also kinda true....but who can i talk to when i have no one to talk to

5pt7art said:

what do you say when people question the things you do?....who do you talk to when you have no one to talk to?...

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i have this so called friend that called me while i was at work on tuesday...he said where have you been ...youre always working....you forgot about the poor people...i laughed it off.....and he said im serious....youre always working....thats why no one likes you or hangs out with you....anf he asked where are you right now....and i answered well obiously im working since you called me to my work phone....and he continued to rant about how no one hangs out with me or calls me because im always at work.....for the most part yes im at work...i mean its during the week and also its my responsibility.....but wha he said it kinda hit a nerve cause its also kinda true....but who can i talk to when i have no one to talk to

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Felt the need to respond so here I go~

When people question the things I do I tell them that it's my life so I just do what I feel is the best thing to do or what I feel most comfortable doing. By no one do you mean no one at all or no one except people you know on the internet? I don't have any friends except the ones I talk to online~

I don't think being at work often would result in people disliking you but if they do it's probably because they don't work as often as you do so they don't understand. It's going to be hard to have a social life if you're at work very often. It might be best to try to make some friends at work since you spend the majority of your time there. If that doesn't work try to make some online friends. I'm sure there are some people that care on this forum so maybe try to make friends here? There are also penpal sites and chat rooms you can join. I don't think social networking sites like facebook can help but it doesn't hurt to try I guess. If you feel that you have exhausted all options and none of them have solved the problem try listening to music to take your mind off of it or listen to music that describes how your feeling. It might not be the best option but that all depends on if your looking for someone to talk to or you want to stop feeling lonely and it doesn't matter if you have someone or not as long as the feeling goes away.

I hope this helped somehow~

The main question is "why are you always working?". Becouse if you like your job and its gives you something more than money for survive it's cool. And if you just must working that much it's also cool couse it's not very dependent on you. Problem will be if you're a pracoholic or you aren't assertive or I don't know, something like that.

And Shio is right, if someone doesn't working at all even 8 h per day would be for him so long. Well, I know one man who working even 72 h nonstop and I think this is crazy. If you're that kind of person you should change the job as far as possible. But I don't know you, so it's just general. Maybe you like it. Then don't listen too anybody.

People who question everything you do shouldn't be apart of your life.

People need to work to live....so anyone questioning that is out of line. How many hours per week do you work? Do you work a million hours a week, and its hard to see friends and such?

I agree, working a lot isn't a reason for someone to want to stop hanging out with you.... its their problem, not yours.

I know I'm not giving you advice here, but if you need people to talk to, there are plenty of people here that would love to talk, also, check out the chat room.

If you have to work, you have to work. We all have to work to support ourselves and make a living. However, if you have neglected spending some time with your friends, then maybe try to find some time, even if it is meeting up for a pizza after work for a few hours. I think you should not take this negatively, but as your friend saying he wants to spend time with you.

He's already a "so called friend" 5pt7art, and he's looking for reasons to criticize you. Only he can say why he needs to do that.

Perhaps you might feel out, on the quiet, if the "no one likes you" thing he's talking about is really true, if that's where you stand with people. I'd like to know what his authority is for telling you what other people think or feel......this guy has a copyright on speaking for other people? What is he, a mind reader? Maybe he's their confessor or something? He sounds like a real jerk to me.

I am in the same boat as you. There are 2 kind of friends. There are the ones who understand that your life isn't easy and they don't mind waiting months to see you. I am lucky I have such friends.

Then there are the ones who give you a lot of crap about not making time to socialize etc. These ones I explain my situation to, but if they still continue trying to make me feel bad, I just tell them that this is my life and if they think I'm being a bad friend, then they should spare themselves the trouble.

Usually there'll be a bit of drama, and I'll remain calm, and they'll stop bothering me at some point, at which point I feel sweet relief

True friends would never make us feel bad over things like work, family, health...the important stuff. Sure, it sucks that we don't get to spend much time with them, but its not right to turn our expectations against them.

I hope you will ignore this friend and remain hopeful, because cool people do exist out there.

i thought the same as what most of you all repied....why is he questioning me? its my responsibilty to work to achieve a goal of eventully getting my own place.....i dont think ill be in conctact with that " freind" any longer

5pt7art said:

what do you say when people question the things you do?

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I don't say anything.

Of course that's easy to do, because when I decide on something or act, I have almost always thought about it carefully and have given myself reasons and justifications.
So what would there be to say to someone questioning me? The only thing I could say is to explain my reasoning and attempt to justify myself with them. But people who question my actions do not want justifications, they have already judged me and decided my fate.
So when I do act I do so knowing the consequences of my actions. That is why it is important that I reason and justify everything with myself first.

5pt7art said:

....who do you talk to when you have no one to talk to?...

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I go on forums, like this one, like right now.

What do these two questions have in common, though? I don't really see the connection. Your friend called you, but you say you don't have anyone to talk to? I guess I don't really get that. Have you tried to talk to this friend? It sounds like they certainly tried to talk to you. They opened up to you and attempted to explain the issues of trying to be your friend. Meaning they want(ed) to be your friend but you failed to live up to their expectations.

So the way I see it you have two choices.
First, Listen to them, change your ways, and try to be a good friend to the friends you've got and essentially decide that their expectations are also expectations you want to have for yourself. Or, Second, decide that who you are now is who you want to be and if that person's friends do not understand that, and their expectations are unreasonable, then they just aren't very good friends. You can try to justify yourself and remove those expectations to make them better friends, but that's sometimes difficult. It's often easier to just find some new friends.
I'd suggest you decide on that very carefully, though. That's a pretty big decision. Don't rush into anything but don't take forever to decide, either.