A relationship with a friend's brother

I had very good friend and I only have positive things to say about her. I live in far from family and she and her family helped me a lot in settling in my new city. They also were there when I needed them most. Just like any friendships we had some issues here there. After sometimes I and her brother started dating. I didn’t want to tell her immediately because her family was the only family I had here and I wanted to be sure about the relationship before I openly announce it. We finally told her after a year. He talked to her first and then I told her (on different date). She was so angry when I told her and we now are not in talking terms. She said all kind of stuff that made me so angry and somehow things got ugly. But I and her brother are still dating and we have an amazing relationship. I sent her a text asking her to talk and she doesn’t reply. Nothing happened with her brother and it was only me that she is not talking.
I was angry with the things she said to me but I also felt really bad that all these things are happening between us. We are adults and the relationship I have with her brother is serious and now I am not sure what will happen. Am I wrong to start the relationship? Please advise me what to do

I don't think you need any advice. I can't see that you did anything wrong!

What is the big deal that you have been dating your friend's brother? You shouldn't have to hide something like this. How do you and your friend's brother feel about dating each other? Does it make you happy? Are you happy with each other? Do you care for each other? That's all that matters.

Keep on living your life the way it is.

I can see why she would be angry. Her good friend and her brother hid a relationship for a year. I mean, if you want someone to be excited for you, you wouldn't hide stuff from them, right? I am assuming that you didn't hide important stuff from her before?

I am glad that you are in a good relationship. And you should continue to be happy in it. If she doesn't want to talk, she won't talk. Just give her time.

AmytheTemperamental said:

I can see why she would be angry. Her good friend and her brother hid a relationship for a year. I mean, if you want someone to be excited for you, you wouldn't hide stuff from them, right? I am assuming that you didn't hide important stuff from her before?

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I didn't consider that. But at the same time I don't know if they did anything that bad. Now the question is why didn't she say anything all that time? Did she have a feeling that her friend would flip out? And why?

BeyondShy said:

I didn't consider that. But at the same time I don't know if they did anything that bad. Now the question is why didn't she say anything all that time? Did she have a feeling that her friend would flip out? And why?

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For the record, I don't think what they did was necessarily bad. And I could be completely wrong. I could just understand why she would be upset about it.

AmytheTemperamental said:

For the record, I don't think what they did was necessarily bad. And I could be completely wrong. I could just understand why she would be upset about it.

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Well, we got this one solved. What's next?

AmytheTemperamental said:

I can see why she would be angry. Her good friend and her brother hid a relationship for a year. I mean, if you want someone to be excited for you, you wouldn't hide stuff from them, right? I am assuming that you didn't hide important stuff from her before?

I am glad that you are in a good relationship. And you should continue to be happy in it. If she doesn't want to talk, she won't talk. Just give her time.

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I was so worried that she would get upset. I even rehearsed several times before I told her. I also had so many issues (job, my mom's health and other family issues) and I waited till things get sorted before dealing with her. My other confusion is that I was so angry with the things she said and I didn't try to talk to her immediately after the incident. I am human too and I get emotional but I ask myself 'was i supposed to act as if nothing happened when i saw her after our talk"

You waited far far too long. You should have told her about it before you even entered the relationship, even if just out of courtesy. He was her brother before he was your boyfriend. I have been in the situation where my brother's best friend told me what he felt and even though nothing ever came out of it, when my brother found out he considered it a betrayal of his trust and friendship. I didn't understand his reasoning then, I don't understand it now, but I do agree with him that that his best friend shouldn't have done things behind his back, no matter how worried he was that my brother might get upset. It maybe a similar situation with your friend. A whole year without her knowing, especially when you considered her a great friend? The relationship in itself isn't wrong, but that is something she may perceive as a deception, and it will take time to heal.