The UK is a hostile place for single over 30's

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That can be said for anywhere, if you're in a negative mindset. You see what you want to see. So, if you see negativity everywhere you look, yeah, I suppose it is. Change your outlook and maybe you will see things differently.
 
As opposed to the USA or France or [insert country of choice]?

I can grant you it may *seem* hostile, but perceptions and reality don't always match up.
 
I didn't live in the UK in my 30s and many members here haven't either. Care to expound on your personal opinion? Or perhaps your thread title was meant to say The UK is a hostile place for me, cumulus.james.

-Teresa
 
I agree with the previous comments CJ. Try and be the change you'd like to see in the world, not that I'm expecting you to be Gandhi but a little less victim mentality on your part would be a good start.
 
My statement above has nothing to do with victim mentality. The UK has been structured in such a fashion as to exclude those who are single this past decade. Options for interaction are more and more limited to the workplace in this age range.

Not only are options outside of one's home near non existent. But they are building 1 bedroom flats as though they are going out of fashion. Loneliness appears to be being built into the system more than anything.

Suicide is the no 1 killer of men in this country. Think on that, you have an epidemic of lonely/depressed men and no means to bring them together.
 
cumulus.james said:
My statement above has nothing to do with victim mentality. The UK has been structured in such a fashion as to exclude those who are single this past decade. Options for interaction are more and more limited to the workplace in this age range.

Horse****. And this is coming from someone that has never been to Great Britain or anyplace in Europe.

"Options for interaction are more and more limited to the workplace in this age range." Say what? Your only hope for any interaction is at work? What happens when you are out of work? Does the general public automatically know you are in your thirties and avoid you? Do they cross the street when they see you coming? There's no chance that you can say hi to someone when you are buying tea or coffee or getting a newspaper? Or someone can say hi to you? Come on!


cumulus.james said:
Suicide is the no 1 killer of men in this country. Think on that, you have an epidemic of lonely/depressed men and no means to bring them together.

So you are telling me they closed down all the pubs in England?

I have a feeling if you were from let's say Chicago you would say that Chicago would be a hostile place for singles over 30.
 
I don't think this applies exclusively to the UK, or males in the UK. The whole world is a hostile place to anyone who is alone. In fact, in some countries, women above a certain age who are unmarried are completely shunned by society. They aren't even allowed to attend family functions. Yet, they're not all committing suicide, so they must've figured out a way to look beyond their loneliness. Homeless people, homeless children whose loneliness I cannot even imagine, are still carrying on.

I think the problem is that people who are alone give up on themselves. The world will carry on as it does, and its up to us to make the most of it. Its always possible to be less alone. Volunteer, help those in need, do something that requires human interaction, and eventually you will form bonds. These relationships may not be the same as having deep, meaningful companionship, but its definitely better than nothing.
 
cumulus.james said:
The UK is a hostile place for single over 30's.

Discuss.
Hello all :) I'm new to the forum and a female Brit. 42 now but been single for nine years! I have issues :p
We are not hostile, we are a very friendly bunch, you hear me cumulus? I want no more talk of hostility. Take this :club:

Nice to meet you all! Where are you all from? I'm living in Devon in the UK. Its a beautiful place, lots of countryside and rivers and steeped in history.
I look forward to chatting to you all. Even you cumulus ;)
Looks a good forum! You are my new adopted little cyber family. I get lonely :( and I'm facing empty nest syndrome soon, but I try to keep my chin up. Places like this help.
 
Veruca said:
I don't think this applies exclusively to the UK, or males in the UK. The whole world is a hostile place to anyone who is alone. In fact, in some countries, women above a certain age who are unmarried are completely shunned by society. They aren't even allowed to attend family functions. Yet, they're not all committing suicide, so they must've figured out a way to look beyond their loneliness. Homeless people, homeless children whose loneliness I cannot even imagine, are still carrying on.

I think the problem is that people who are alone give up on themselves. The world will carry on as it does, and its up to us to make the most of it. Its always possible to be less alone. Volunteer, help those in need, do something that requires human interaction, and eventually you will form bonds. These relationships may not be the same as having deep, meaningful companionship, but its definitely better than nothing.

+1
 
cumulus.james said:
My statement above has nothing to do with victim mentality. The UK has been structured in such a fashion as to exclude those who are single this past decade. Options for interaction are more and more limited to the workplace in this age range.

Not only are options outside of one's home near non existent. But they are building 1 bedroom flats as though they are going out of fashion. Loneliness appears to be being built into the system more than anything.

Suicide is the no 1 killer of men in this country. Think on that, you have an epidemic of lonely/depressed men and no means to bring them together.
I'd love to know where you get your info from cumulus! You've been misled. In the UK life is what you make it and there are ample opportunities for interaction. At some point people have to take responsibility for their own life as opposed to blaming all around them.
You state that "options outside of one's home are near non existent" that's rather a sweeping unjustified statement don't you think?
And what's all this tosh about "building 1 bed flats like they are going out of fashion" ?
Personally I couldnt give a monkies what people choose to think, but at least get your facts straight before you spout garbage.
You consistently whinge about hostility but yet you invite it so beautifully.
I have chose to disagree with you, deal with it. Don't go chucking your toys out the pram and getting all huffy. Some things we will agree on and some things we will disagree on. That's life!
Its lovely to meet you ;)


I feel a ban coming on already :rolleyes:
It never takes me long :D
 
My impression of the UK was that it's plagued by ageism, since the Mods in the 60ies? or even before, you need to be young young young (AND successful) to ever account to anything. This is of course very general, as I have met British folks who have the time of their lives over 50, but the "vibe" I get is that there is a huge pressure on being "young" (like you could be if you are not)
 
Peaches said:
My impression of the UK was that it's plagued by ageism, since the Mods in the 60ies? or even before, you need to be young young young (AND successful) to ever account to anything. This is of course very general, as I have met British folks who have the time of their lives over 50, but the "vibe" I get is that there is a huge pressure on being "young" (like you could be if you are not)

Ah see, you put it so nicely peaches :D its all in the wording.
You can't argue with someone's "impression" ;)
But you can just stop chatting about ageing and 50yr olds in the same sentence coz I am 42 nearly 43 and fast heading towards old :(
We aren't that ageist here though. Maybe some people are I suppose. Not me though :D I love the oldies, they are interesting and have character and wisdom! Unlike moi who is a mere spring chicken :p


TheRealCallie said:
cumulus.james said:
Suicide is the no 1 killer of men in this country. Think on that, you have an epidemic of lonely/depressed men and no means to bring them together.

Actually, CANCER is the number 1 killer of men in the UK.

http://time.com/3908152/cancer-is-now-the-number-1-killer-of-men-in-the-uk/
What does it even matter :rolleyes: it don't mean that's how you will go!
I could break my neck on a racehorse tomorrow, so could my teen!
Statistics mean nothing. Its all blahdy blah nonsense.

Are you a pirate? :) cool
 
Devon said:
TheRealCallie said:
cumulus.james said:
Suicide is the no 1 killer of men in this country. Think on that, you have an epidemic of lonely/depressed men and no means to bring them together.

Actually, CANCER is the number 1 killer of men in the UK.

http://time.com/3908152/cancer-is-now-the-number-1-killer-of-men-in-the-uk/
What does it even matter :rolleyes: it don't mean that's how you will go!
I could break my neck on a racehorse tomorrow, so could my teen!
Statistics mean nothing. Its all blahdy blah nonsense.

Are you a pirate? :) cool

Um, when they are already dead, it does....that's what the study shows. Not DYING, but already dead. So yes, it kind of does matter....
 
To be fair Male suicide is a big deal and one has been sorely overlooked in the UK (men's health receives a fraction of what women's health services do but that's a debate for another day)

I am a man in my mid 30s in England and frankly I've never found it to be hostile at all towards me. It can be indifferent but that's because I'm not putting the effort in myself. Sitting in my room and expecting the world to come to me has not worked. So I joined meetup.com and met some new people and now I'm out practically every weekend visiting places I'd never thought existed before - and it's wonderful!

Treat yourself to a new look, then get out there and explore! First thing I did was travel to the main railway station (Birmingham New Street) then asked a complete stranger to pick a number between 1 and 12 then got on whatever train was at that platform. I went to Nottingham, found the National Videogame museum and chatted to lots of people - had a wonderful day out. Then joined meetup.com and have been to Botantical Gardens, Clubs, cinema, bowling, museums and galleries - you name it. Made some great friends in the process. Then I met up with several people from here with the ALLFest meetup and had a fantastic day out.

I'm a man in my 30s - I'm single and living alone but I know that nobody's going to bring the world to me - I have to make the effort. Life's what you make it - nothing more nothing less. The UK is a wonderful place for men in their 30s, indeed for anyone of any age.
 
I agree it's pretty harsh here, but I also agree that it depends on mindset (and personality).

I feel different. Like, I just do ._.

I also probably have AvPD.

This makes it harder for me than for most people I think.

I like the UK, but I'm still finding my feet socially, no doubt :(

Oh, and I'm exactly 30 lol
 
Devon said:
cumulus.james said:
My statement above has nothing to do with victim mentality. The UK has been structured in such a fashion as to exclude those who are single this past decade. Options for interaction are more and more limited to the workplace in this age range.

Not only are options outside of one's home near non existent. But they are building 1 bedroom flats as though they are going out of fashion. Loneliness appears to be being built into the system more than anything.

Suicide is the no 1 killer of men in this country. Think on that, you have an epidemic of lonely/depressed men and no means to bring them together.
I'd love to know where you get your info from cumulus! You've been misled. In the UK life is what you make it and there are ample opportunities for interaction. At some point people have to take responsibility for their own life as opposed to blaming all around them.
You state that "options outside of one's home are near non existent" that's rather a sweeping unjustified statement don't you think?
And what's all this tosh about "building 1 bed flats like they are going out of fashion" ?
Personally I couldnt give a monkies what people choose to think, but at least get your facts straight before you spout garbage.
You consistently whinge about hostility but yet you invite it so beautifully.
I have chose to disagree with you, deal with it. Don't go chucking your toys out the pram and getting all huffy. Some things we will agree on and some things we will disagree on. That's life!
Its lovely to meet you ;)


I feel a ban coming on already :rolleyes:
It never takes me long :D



I read the news:

http://metro.co.uk/2013/03/24/suicide-biggest-male-killer-3556960/

"The highest rate was in the male age bracket 30-44. Suicide in this group accounted for more deaths than road accidents, murder and HIV/Aids combined."




There is no mechanism to get to know anyone where you 1) Don't know anybody already 2) Do not work so have no 'reason' to be around people. If a 35 year old stands in a typical pub on their own in the home counties, no one is going to talk to them. Most the pubs have been closing anyway, apart from pubs what is there?

You tell me on place where a shy awkward 35 year old white atheist could go in London and make a friend?

I mention atheist because churches are not my thing. I mention my age because there are things for very old people, and for very young ones. I mention that I am white because I am well aware that the minorities have stronger communities than do white people. Round here, they would not spit on you if you were on fire.
 
cumulus.james said:
There is no mechanism to get to know anyone where you 1) Don't know anybody already 2) Do not work so have no 'reason' to be around people. If a 35 year old stands in a typical pub on their own in the home counties, no one is going to talk to them. Most the pubs have been closing anyway, apart from pubs what is there?

You tell me on place where a shy awkward 35 year old white atheist could go in London and make a friend?

I mention atheist because churches are not my thing. I mention my age because there are things for very old people, and for very young ones. I mention that I am white because I am well aware that the minorities have stronger communities than do white people. Round here, they would not spit on you if you were on fire.

Is this a real question or a rhetorical question?
I was going to check online but then thought it's more of a statement than a question.

-Teresa
 

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