Ideal date, yet I feel horrible!

So last Thursday I had a date with this girl I've liked for a while.

We met up, talked for about half an hour over coffee and then got some dinner at a nice place. We didn't flirt physically so much as we did previously (given it was a first date, I think), but she still seemed really interested in getting to know me.

I was expecting the conversation to be awkward, at least at first, but it flowed totally naturally right from the moment we first met up. I don't think we had a single awkward pause in the whole night.

Over the course of eating about five hours passed and neither one of us even noticed. Every topic we talked about I felt like we were really in sync, and it felt easy to make her genuinely laugh too...it was really pleasant.

While we're talking she was showing a lot of interest in seeing movies, going out to do stuff in a group, so I had high hopes for getting a second date.

So we leave, and I'm thinking "Wow, this has just been awesome. Now I just have to ask for another meet." We walk back to where she's heading home (she's getting the train).

Me: "We should do something again soon?"
Her: "Well...I guess I'll probably see you about?"
Me: "Oh, okay. Cool. Bye."

*She leaves, kind of in a rush*.

I was a bit put out by how abrupt it felt. Especially since the chances of us meeting without arranging it are pretty slim (we work at totally different places etc.)

I thought about it afterwards, and thought maybe she didn't want to miss the train (since it was there before we got there).

But even so, to go from joking about and feeling 100% comfortable talking to just suddenly hitting a solid wall of awkward was totally jarring.

It sounds pathetic, but I felt really crap afterwards despite the whole awesome experience before that. Still feel pretty lame to be honest - because I really don't understand it.

I have a history of badly overthinking things, so maybe it's just that? But I'm at a loss with what to do now. Ideas/thoughts?

Have you talked to each other after the date?

A lovely 5 hour date with nice conversation and you're worried about the last 2 minutes of the date? For god's sake - if you haven't done so already, call her today and ask for a 2nd date! And not "something soon" - say something specific like ""Friday at 9 at XYZ wine bar?"
Good luck!

-Teresa

You're overthinking way too much into it. You had a great date, just let it be just that.

Call her.

Call her! Ask her out again, it seems like you guys had a great time!

5 hours of talking and you feel worried??!???!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??

You did well, and should feel great right now. There's no need to worry, just get in touch with her and meet her again!

I would feel the same.

Sometimes you get the feeling that the apparent eagerness to talk is a way of sussing you out, which can change very suddenly.

That's probably not the case here, it's more likely it was just an awkward moment where she didn't know what to say.

Anyway, the only way you can know is by asking for another meetup.

Ask her to do something. Her reaction will tell you if she is interested

Did you call her yet?

I sent her a text yesterday, 'cos calling just feels awkward (she's probably not free to chat?)

No reply, though. Ah well.

TheSolitaryMan said:

I sent her a text yesterday, 'cos calling just feels awkward (she's probably not free to chat?)

No reply, though. Ah well.

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Give it a few days. If she hasn't replied then at least you know. And don't think you did anything wrong because you didn't.

I agree that giving her more time to reply to your text is a good idea. Maybe she is shy and lacking in confidence so didn't expect you to want to meet her again? I know sometimes I react abruptly or oddly if someone appears to like me and wants to see me again.

How long did you leave it before you text her? She might have been wondering too and maybe doesn't want to come across too keen. Just an idea.

Or maybe the date was good but she isnt too interested. >>hopefully thats not the case but **** people, if someone is interested they are going to respond quickly. Its never wrong to at least try though so good job on that.

kamya said:

if someone is interested they are going to respond quickly.

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Taking that as a statement, that's not always what happens. There can be delays for whatever various reasons. Maybe not a bunch of days or even weeks, but a few hours, or possibly even a day or two, doesn't always mean disinterest.

Serenia said:

How long did you leave it before you text her? She might have been wondering too and maybe doesn't want to come across too keen. Just an idea.

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I can understand how this is social convention but to me it's just stupid, I think if you're interested in someone then there's no limits. I hate playing games.

VanillaCreme said:

kamya said:

if someone is interested they are going to respond quickly.

Click to expand...

Taking that as a statement, that's not always what happens. There can be delays for whatever various reasons. Maybe not a bunch of days or even weeks, but a few hours, or possibly even a day or two, doesn't always mean disinterest.

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Right but using occam's razor, what do you think is most likely?

So I take it she still hasn't responded to your text.

That's quite rude, considering the length of time you spoke. Of course they'll be people jumping on a statement like that saying "She doesn't OWE him anything, *******!". But basic courtesy would suggest she could least say something along the lines of "I enjoyed talking but I don't think we can be more than friends." etc. etc.