Just don't care anymore.

I have made some improvements in my life, I've got a better job, moved somewhere completely different made a few more friends since the start of this year. It's good to have people to talk to even if its just messaging on the phone and the odd call here and there...

The problem is..I think my overall loneliness just feels even greater. Most of my friends I talk to are from different countries and people I met when I was travelling. I still kind of am with my new job..

I've been doing some bad things to try and alleviate the feeling, stuff im not going to go into but I know its having a detrimental effect on me and possibly my health. I've gotten extremely depressed some days where I feel like I'm doing all I can yet its just not enough and I get in a bit of a vicious cycle.

I seem to feel like im always haunted by loneliness..and even with such drastic change the change I need to make is me but I don't know where to begin. I like to think i've gotten better but I'm always going to be alone. I don't want to be 35 or 40 and still single and isolated. I've been single nearly 5 years now and I have done my damnedest to feel better about being alone and living only for me...yet it just comes back in my head as a complete and utter failure of mine... then it leads onto...the way to alleviate that feeling by doing things I wouldn't normally do to stop feeling alone.

right now I can't find anything intelligent to say so

(a hug)
more intelligent comments are sure to follow

I've often wondered if part of the problem with loneliness for some people is feeling like they don't have roots somewhere--those without close families, solid social groups, or an identity they feel is shared in addition to their own. That, or it's the intimacy of truly close connections they're missing. It's pretty well-established at this point that the physical presence of people matters little.

Tealeaf said:

I've often wondered if part of the problem with loneliness for some people is feeling like they don't have roots somewhere--those without close families, solid social groups, or an identity they feel is shared in addition to their own. That, or it's the intimacy of truly close connections they're missing. It's pretty well-established at this point that the physical presence of people matters little.

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I've never had solid social groups only a handful of friends...i've made some friends online now and talk to them regularly which is a great change to say half a year ago...but even as great as they are, you can't replace the physical person right there. I went out on a 'date' with someone a few weeks back, someone i've known for about a month prior, it was great being there she looked great. Course we had no chemistry in that situation. Still that beat sitting on a phone messaging someone.

If anything physical presence is taken for granted. If you have someone around all the time its hard if you dont have a strong connection and even that can be a burden in itself. I've been lacking a physical presence for a long time...can't even count the amount of nights i've spent alone these last few years.

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Peaches said:

right now I can't find anything intelligent to say so

(a hug)
more intelligent comments are sure to follow

Click to expand...

So cute!