niceguysfinishlast said:
I think i was always meant to be alone without a girlfriend.
....
This just happened to me and the worst part is, she liked some of the same things i did and for no reason at all, she hadn't talked to me in a month despite talking regularly before that. She and i had been friends for some time before that.
I'm done trying to get a girlfriend.
You weren't meant to be alone. If you want a girlfriend you have to figure it out. A lot of people seem to have this figured out by high school, but you can catch up.
I have stopped talking to people I was interested in for more than a month, and not out of disinterest either. She could have had any reason for doing this, including being too busy with things. It happens. Calling her out on this will only push her further away. I haven't experienced a lot but that much I can confirm.
I have a bit of a different belief on this than most people seem to. I don't think it's fate. Frankly I think that's bullshit.
I know better than anyone that it's frustrating to see other people just luck into relationships and ESPECIALLY to see guys who are no smarter, no "cooler", no more talented, no more interesting, no more ambitious, no more successful, no better than you at all and sometimes a LOT worse, just luck into a girlfriend at an early age. It makes me mad as hell.
But I think that when things don't go well, it's because you're doing something wrong somehow. You're carrying yourself in an unattractive way, living in an unattractive lifestyle, having unattractive personality traits or mannerisms both to the specific girl in question, and likely to women in general. I'm still trying to figure this out but I must say I have learned a lot more that used to go over my head in past years.
For instance complaining a lot. That's a big one to avoid.
I think that if you can have a rapport with a girl, if you get along with her well - then you can theoretically date her, if you make the impression that you have the right stuff. If you can have a friend, you can have a girlfriend. I think it's knowing how to play the game. How to play your cards. You can have a lot going for you and play your cards badly, and you can also have not much going for you and play your cards well.
Someone I knew on another forum told me this, on the subject of girls:
"There’s that stuff inside you that always has been, and always will be, attractive to the ladies. That’s really all you need to attract them.
The problem these days is that most people cover this awesome inner self up with a bunch of honeysuckle, blocking it from the surface.
And what happens when you have a mentality like that? You lose your confidence, you lose your motivation, you lose your vibe, you lose your appreciation of romance. This results in social anxiety, overthinking, introversion, etc. because the mind keeps reinforcing its habits.
The only way to change that is to take action. The progress is fast, really, because you’re not learning new skills… just going back to the way things were."
I'm still trying to figure out what it means, and I admit, my track record is, shall we say, not the best. However, I know enough to know the gist of this message is that it's not impossible. Don't give up. When you give up you let the bastards win.
TheRealCallie said:
But, I don't feel anyone should give up on something they want.
For once, I agree with you.
Xpendable said:
How much is young? I'm about to be 28. I don't want to think in deadlines, but 35 seems to be the age I'll give up.
There is no age limit on this.
BeyondShy said:
I don't know anything about you but to be resigned to being alone is nonsense.
You're right about that.
