Gift giving?

Hi guys!

What do you think of giving friends a Christmas Present when it hasn't been discussed. I have a present for a friend that is just a little thing, but it could not be left and not bought .

Would anyone be put on the wrong foot by receiving a gift? The reason I say this is I have had this done to me once or twice and been surprised with a small token gift and wanted to recripicate but was too late or not doable for various reasons, and felt a touch bad.

I just would never wish to make someone uncomfortable unintentionally.

Maybe I am just overly sensitive.

I don't think you are being overly sensitive at all. It seems to me you are just trying to do something nice here.

I think its a sweet thing. You thought of this person when you saw the gift, and that is what makes it special. I'd give it and not worry a thing about it!

I don't think it needs to be discussed, it shows you were thinking of them and it's a sweet gesture.

Well I will take the contrary post... I actually do hate it when I get an unexpected gift because I do feel badly not having a gift for them. It makes me feel like I should have known and gotten them a gift. However, you can also look at it as a kind gesture on your part and if it does bother them, they can make it up to you next year.

I think it might insult me more if someone wanted to "discuss" gift giving first as that seems too planned.

I think similarly to other members. It's a very nice thing to do for friends and you don't need to worry about it. Also try not to feel bad about not being able to reciprocate the gifts you've received or being late to do. You don't avoid them intentionally and understanding friends usually don't mind it anyway.

I think it's sweet & lets your friend know you were thinking of him/her.
If anything, you can say "I saw this & I couldn't NOT get it for you. I thought of you when I saw it & had to buy it!" type of thing. Maybe they won't feel too bad if you got them a gift if you tell them this way? Whenever I'm at a store or mall, I always see things I'd love to buy for people because I know they'd love it or remembered them wanting it. I tell them that I found "so & so", thought of them, and just had to buy it. Man...now I'm hoping no one has felt uncomfortable.

It's easy to over think this thing. I'd go with giving the gift and if they haven't thought to give you one, now's their chance to find something and return the favor, sometime and somehow. How they do it (or do not) is an indication of how they feel and how thoughtful they are.

I've been on both ends of this situation. I'm more of giver anyway, so I have bought gifts if it really made me think of a certain person and felt they should have it.

Over the past few years, I would just buy a Christmas card or two, and fill them with a few dollar lottery scratch off tickets and put them in the envelope. That way, if I got a gift that was unexpected I would have something for that person and not feel I had to go get something that evening...I hate that feeling that they remembered me, but I didn't think of them. If I didn't get something unexpected, hell, I had a few scratch off tickets to play by myself.

lonelypanda said:

I don't think it needs to be discussed, it shows you were thinking of them and it's a sweet gesture.

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What do you mean it doesn't need to be discussed? This is something she was wondering about and was concerned about it so she wanted to know what others thought. So yeah, for her this needed to be discussed.

I don't think you are over sensitive.

In my opinion, there is never a specific deadline to gift back. If I was unable to give someone something right away, because they surprised me, I would simply give them something when I could.

I tend to be the person who surprises others. I try not to over think it.

Thank you for the lovely posts. I really could not leave it, and am excited now and it giving it to my friend.

Serenia said:

Thank you for the lovely posts. I really could not leave it, and am excited now and it giving it to my friend.

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It sounds like you made the choice that would have made you happiest

Just to let you know the gift was received today and gave the person a big smile .

I got so much pleasure in wrapping, sending it and knowing it was liked.

Serenia said:

Just to let you know the gift was received today and gave the person a big smile .

I got so much pleasure in wrapping, sending it and knowing it was liked.

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The gift was even more special because it came from you. Good job making someone happy today.

I'd never feel bad about that. Its a nice gesture to give. Ever since making more money im constantly seeing things i want to get for different people. Even if im getting a gift I don't expect. They aren't going to expect something in return so they won't feel hurt.

I loveeee giving gifts. Even for no reason at all, surprising an acquaintance with a small goodie bag of candy or something is fun to me. In my experience people love getting gifts too and wouldn't turn it down as long as it's not too much or too expensive. The only sad part is when nobody reciprocates for you which is the story of my life. But hey at least you did something nice and made somebody else smile for a moment.

Serenia said:

What do you think of giving friends a Christmas Present when it hasn't been discussed. I have a present for a friend that is just a little thing, but it could not be left and not bought .

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Serenia said:

Just to let you know the gift was received today and gave the person a big smile .

I got so much pleasure in wrapping, sending it and knowing it was liked.

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That's wonderful. I think it was a very sweet, selfless gesture on your part.

kamya said:

I'd never feel bad about that. Its a nice gesture to give. Ever since making more money im constantly seeing things i want to get for different people. Even if im getting a gift I don't expect. They aren't going to expect something in return so they won't feel hurt.

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I echo these sentiments.