The Age Of Loneliness

Tonight there is a documentary on BBC1 called The Age Of Loneliness. Last year apparently half of all UK adults said they were lonely. A recent news story was about loneliness being bad for teens health. Science is figuring out that loneliness is extremely very bad for your health and increases mortality. Suicide is now one of the leading killers of men age 18 - 50.

So what do you think? WHATS THE MATTER WITH THIS MISERABLE ******* ISLAND THATS KEEPING PEOPLE MISERABLE AND ALONE EN MASS????

Chomsky claimed that late Capitalism forces people together who ought not to be whilst keeping people apart who want to come together. Is he along the right track?

Community is a thing of the past as is family for white british. In other cultures it means something to be someone's cousin for example. Not in white british culture.

I think there are a number of reasons why loneliness in Britain is increasing including:
1. The stress on individualism and independence in our society.
2. The stigma attached to admitting you are lonely unless you are elderly and frail.
3. The way that we are told to be happy and fulfilled completely on our own when most of us need also to be loved and valued by at least one other person.
4. The social mask of cheerful competence we are expected to adopt around others.
5. 'There is no such thing as society' and such views being made mainstream.

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I didn't watch the programme last night as I feared it would cut too deeply into me.

London is the only place in England I've been to along with Edinburgh in Scotland but it isn't hard for me to see why the U.K is such a lonely place based on my experience of that city alone.

Paraiyar said:

London is the only place in England I've been to along with Edinburgh in Scotland but it isn't hard for me to see why the U.K is such a lonely place based on my experience of that city alone.

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I was born in London and lived in it a great number of years - now I'd live almost anywhere but there.

It seems very overcrowded and I like to have peace and quite in my life!

Those who know and love rural life and have good neighbours will know what I mean.

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cumulus.james said:

[...] Last year apparently half of all UK adults said they were lonely. [..]

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That's so sad isn't it?

It reminds me of a saying: "Water, water everywhere and not a drop to drink.".

Paraiyar said:

London is the only place in England I've been to along with Edinburgh in Scotland but it isn't hard for me to see why the U.K is such a lonely place based on my experience of that city alone.

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Hello Paraiyar, I would be really interested to read more. Is your country very different and much less lonely? If so, how and why is it different and could the UK learn some lessons from it?

There must be a solution to all of this.

Millions of people sat in thier homes (or on thier park benches as will soon be my case) just craving company.

We can go to the moon, discover the Higgs Boson, create the internet, build a thnig like cern. We cant come up with a way for people not to be alone?

In medieval times people were not alone like this. There were not rules, regulations and structures keeping them apart.

If the price for living the extra 30 yrs is to spend more of your life alone (and often bored) alone then one must question if it was worth it?

At 35 my life is just watching the seconds tick by. And befor you start all of those featured in that documentary were in exponentially better positions than I do be able to combat it. They are unable to. So what hope for I?

cumulus.james said:

There must be a solution to all of this.

Millions of people sat in thier homes (or on thier park benches as will soon be my case) just craving company.

We can go to the moon, discover the Higgs Boson, create the internet, build a thnig like cern. We cant come up with a way for people not to be alone?

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It's the internet that created the problem, IMO. You don't have to get off your ass to talk to friends, you have an excuse not to do anything because it's just easier to do it all online.

cumulus.james said:

In medieval times people were not alone like this. There were not rules, regulations and structures keeping them apart.

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What are you talking about? Yes there WERE rules. The peasants didn't get to talk to the higher class and if they did they could be killed for it.

cumulus.james said:

So what hope for I?

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You have whatever hope you want to give yourself. You have every opportunity in the world to change your situation, yet you won't. Probably because it involves putting yourself out there and doing something that is hard, but that is still on you. You want something, WORK for it, just like the rest of us have to.

Who let Sarah Palin on here?

This idiot idea you can work your way out of structural, systemic problems is causing crisis after crisis in the world.

My problems re not of my own making and I can no more change them than can the homeless refugee in calais.

White middle class kids are finding a way they can take control. It is called ISIS. Neo-Liberalism has prvided two choices: limp on through life suffering, or go behead men at will and rape women and children.

This thread exisits because of the void, the nothingness between these extremes. We need to come together over a shared goal and shared values, we need to learn to love each other. Stack as many shelves as I like and it aint going to get me a sense of purpose and kinship with mankind.

Actually watch the documentary before trying to troll people. The problems are systemic and structural not individual. Go dig up Thatcher's corpse and make love to it all night if that is what you want. If you want to understand lonliness then I strongly suggest you stop being such a nasty *****.

I don't think that many people are lonely.
Many people just love to whinge and complain. The times I have seen people moan about having no friends
and you see on their FB page they have 500 friends and they are interacting with everybody. All sorts happening in their lives.
People just love to paint this 'lonely me' picture. Mostly to get attention.
It's all bullshit.

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There is no excuse to be lonely.
We have this, the internet. There is always something
going on. Clubs, meetings, coffee mornings, walking clubs etc.
Unemployed ? Do some charity work.
No friends ? Get out and talk to people.
Most people are polite and friendly and will chat to you even if you feel shy.

cumulus.james said:

Who let Sarah Palin on here?

This idiot idea you can work your way out of structural, systemic problems is causing crisis after crisis in the world.

My problems re not of my own making and I can no more change them than can the homeless refugee in calais.

White middle class kids are finding a way they can take control. It is called ISIS. Neo-Liberalism has prvided two choices: limp on through life suffering, or go behead men at will and rape women and children.

This thread exisits because of the void, the nothingness between these extremes. We need to come together over a shared goal and shared values, we need to learn to love each other. Stack as many shelves as I like and it aint going to get me a sense of purpose and kinship with mankind.

Actually watch the documentary before trying to troll people. The problems are systemic and structural not individual. Go dig up Thatcher's corpse and make love to it all night if that is what you want. If you want to understand lonliness then I strongly suggest you stop being such a nasty *****.

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Oh, so now I'm trying to troll people just because you don't what to do what it takes to ease your way of life....to find a purpose in life....to find ANYTHING in life.
You say you want something in life. You say you've been through a lot in life. You say this, you say that. DO something about it. Did it ever occur to you that there may be people out there that went through the same things you say you did? Did it ever occur to you that they may need help and YOU could help them because you've been through it?
No, of course you haven't, because you're too stuck in your own world of misery that, while you may not have created, you are relishing and living in it and doing NOTHING to change it. That's on YOU, just like anyone else that went through horrible things and refuse to find a way to get out of the way of life, to get out of the misery that they continue to live in.

I hate to break it to you, but you are NOT the only one that's been through horrible honeysuckle, and while I'm not saying you are the only one doing it, you are choosing to live in the misery, to live in the regrets, the nightmare. You continue to dwell on it instead of doing something to change it. I don't care what you say you've tried, if you haven't found a way out, a way to better your life, then you haven't tried enough or given it enough of a chance.

Also, since you know NOTHING of my life and what I've been through, how about you not jump to conclusions about what I do and do not understand.

Triple Bogey said:

I don't think that many people are lonely.
Many people just love to whinge and complain. The times I have seen people moan about having no friends
and you see on their FB page they have 500 friends and they are interacting with everybody. All sorts happening in their lives.
People just love to paint this 'lonely me' picture. Mostly to get attention.
It's all bullshit.

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Facebook is seriously, seriously misleading - I know for a fact that several people with hundreds of Friends have absolutely no one to turn to in case of emergency, and having a little banter here and there by no means substitutes meaningful relationships, it's just a way to pass the time while at home and ease the pain.
I also think social media are one of the reasons why people - especially younger - are more lonely than before, it takes too much effort to get their butt out of their house while their social needs are momentarily satisfied (instant gratification). Also there is too much choice, it feels like one could have always better friends and a better life, because of social comparison, and my feeling is that with all the meetups etc a large number of people have become social butterflies running around and never settling for someone. And no one makes phone calls anymore
OK, feeling a 100 years old now, but I don't mind.

So what do you think? WHATS THE MATTER WITH THIS MISERABLE ******* ISLAND THATS KEEPING PEOPLE MISERABLE AND ALONE EN MASS????

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Not enough sun. I'm serious.

stork_error said:

So what do you think? WHATS THE MATTER WITH THIS MISERABLE ******* ISLAND THATS KEEPING PEOPLE MISERABLE AND ALONE EN MASS????

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Not enough sun. I'm serious.

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You know what - I think there is some truth to that. I've been feeling down over the past few weeks and I'm positive it has to do with lack of sunlight. We've had a lot of rain lately. When I go to work it's dark and when I leave work it's dark. I hate it! And I live in "sunny" California. I doubt it's much sunnier in the UK at the moment. I can't imagine living in the northern latitudes where daylight is only a few hours a day in winter.

-Teresa

SofiasMami said:

stork_error said:

So what do you think? WHATS THE MATTER WITH THIS MISERABLE ******* ISLAND THATS KEEPING PEOPLE MISERABLE AND ALONE EN MASS????

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Not enough sun. I'm serious.

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You know what - I think there is some truth to that. I've been feeling down over the past few weeks and I'm positive it has to do with lack of sunlight. We've had a lot of rain lately. When I go to work it's dark and when I leave work it's dark. I hate it! And I live in "sunny" California. I doubt it's much sunnier in the UK at the moment. I can't imagine living in the northern latitudes where daylight is only a few hours a day in winter.

-Teresa

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I think people are more depressed in January than any other month.
There is nothing to look forward to. Christmas and New Year is over. All the build up and excitement has gone. Summer holidays are months away. The days are short and the weather is mostly miserable. Dark, always raining, cold. People are naturally more down than usual.

stork_error said:

So what do you think? WHATS THE MATTER WITH THIS MISERABLE ******* ISLAND THATS KEEPING PEOPLE MISERABLE AND ALONE EN MASS????

Click to expand...

Not enough sun. I'm serious.

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I love the sun, but I also love the winter landscape - as a painter I find it very inspirational.

Bare earth, bare-branched trees, reduced tonal values, misty atmospheric views, snow-covered fields - I find these things very beautiful.

I don't know why some people are so gloomy though. They seem to be miserable all year round - even in summer!

Lots of sun over here in NZ right now which I am loving although I do feel quite unhappy over other things.

Where I live we tend to get quite a few sunny days in January, though temperatures are at their coldest. December is darker and more precipitous (which I like, personally). We get the least sun in November.

Triple Bogey said:

There is nothing to look forward to.

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^ I agree. The last few months of the year are my favorite time, so I get a little extra down when it has passed.

I wonder if people who live in the Northern most areas of the planet are mostly unhappy during those winter days?

Peaches said:

Triple Bogey said:

I don't think that many people are lonely.
Many people just love to whinge and complain. The times I have seen people moan about having no friends
and you see on their FB page they have 500 friends and they are interacting with everybody. All sorts happening in their lives.
People just love to paint this 'lonely me' picture. Mostly to get attention.
It's all bullshit.

Click to expand...

Facebook is seriously, seriously misleading - I know for a fact that several people with hundreds of Friends have absolutely no one to turn to in case of emergency, and having a little banter here and there by no means substitutes meaningful relationships, it's just a way to pass the time while at home and ease the pain.
I also think social media are one of the reasons why people - especially younger - are more lonely than before, it takes too much effort to get their butt out of their house while their social needs are momentarily satisfied (instant gratification). Also there is too much choice, it feels like one could have always better friends and a better life, because of social comparison, and my feeling is that with all the meetups etc a large number of people have become social butterflies running around and never settling for someone. And no one makes phone calls anymore
OK, feeling a 100 years old now, but I don't mind.

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You are so right Peaches. Feeling pretty old myself....glad my youth happened when it did instead of now.

I was about to say that I like the warm sunny months much better than the cold and gloomy months, and in a sense that is still true. But while I might not like the cold very much, sometimes I try to see the beauty in cloudy days at least. For example, if we didn't have rain in the spring and summer, then we couldn't have that fresh after-rain smell that is so pleasant to me in the spring and summertime. I am trying to treat my days with more value than I did before, even if it's cloudy or winter. Time passes so fast, the days are precious. I want to make the most of them.