Don't understand people anymore

Hey all, it's been well over 4 months since I last posted on here, I often just lurk when I'm browsing on here.

So last Sunday, I hung out and got some drinks with my so called "friends". They were the ones that called me. I agreed since I was just sitting around watching tv. This was the first time in well over a month I actually hung out with someone.

There was two of them btw, and as we left a bar we all wanted to get something to eat. As we were driving, they both began to tell me they wanted to hang out more. I said yeah we'll have to do something next weekend as I got dropped off home.

Fast forward to this weekend, I shot both of them a text. One responded once, and the other nothing whatsoever. talking to them last weekend I asked them what they've been up to since I've haven't seen them in awhile. Both said not much. So that gets me thinking, why would you tell someone you want to hang out with them more just to stiff them if the long run.

Btw, the only reason I went out last weekend was because they called me, that whole month before that I tried multiple times over the countless weekends to try and make plans. At this point I'm done trying to make an effort with people I always used to hang around just to be let down. I'm done being an option when they make other people a priority to hang out with.

Maybe I'm just overreacting but I'm sick of this lonely life sitting around watching tv playing xbox. I want to make new friends but don't know how to go about doing so. Sorry if my post is long and hard to understand.

xMark6 said:

Maybe I'm just overreacting but I'm sick of this lonely life sitting around watching tv playing xbox. I want to make new friends but don't know how to go about doing so. Sorry if my post is long and hard to understand.

Click to expand...

Your not overreacting. First rule of the new "superficial" world language is
1. I don't mean anything that I say to you.

Second rule of the new superficial world is

2. people are simply pawns for my amusement and I owe them no duty whatsoever to reciprocate.

Third rule of the new superficial world

3. Don't try to make friends because it is a pretty rare thing indeed to find anyone who does not suffer from the above.

LonelySutton said:

xMark6 said:

Maybe I'm just overreacting but I'm sick of this lonely life sitting around watching tv playing xbox. I want to make new friends but don't know how to go about doing so. Sorry if my post is long and hard to understand.

Click to expand...

Your not overreacting. First rule of the new "superficial" world language is
1. I don't mean anything that I say to you.

Second rule of the new superficial world is

2. people are simply pawns for my amusement and I owe them no duty whatsoever to reciprocate.

Third rule of the new superficial world

3. Don't try to make friends because it is a pretty rare thing indeed to find anyone who does not suffer from the above.

Click to expand...

Sucks it has to be this way.

At least people call you. There is that.

As being a loner, it's easier to become as a second option for ''friends'' because of lowered self-esteem. People somehow notice it with their subconscious and just act like... Jerks. They use you when they have no other friends to hang out with, I've been in that situation before too and it sucks. I've made a promise with myself that I won't be a door mat for anyone anymore, if someone doesn't truly want to hang out with me IRL, then they can forget the whole thing and ask from someone else. I can't give much of advises to you other than respect yourself and your spare time. What I understood from your post was that you felt like they didn't really want to hang out with you, only because they didn't have any other friends around at the moment, so they chose you. You deserve better friends, I'm sorry.

I agree with lonelyfairy. When you are lonely and lacking self esteem, some people assume you will put up with bad treatment from them because they see you as not having any other options.
I hope you find some true friends this year.

You could go places by yourself. Walking, cycling, visiting museums.
And then you are not relying on other people to get out of the house.

Triple Bogey said:

You could go places by yourself. Walking, cycling, visiting museums.
And then you are not relying on other people to get out of the house.

Click to expand...

I agree with this. People are definitely flakey when it comes to making plans so there's nothing wrong with you on that.
You can still go out and hang out even by yourself. Why deny yourself that?
I have a handful of very good friends that I know won't break plans but with everyone else it's just "yeah, we should meet up for lunch sometime!" and then we never do.
I have a membership at an art museum here in town so I can go as much as I want. Some weekends I go and take a docent tour just to have someone to chat with. I always feel better afterwards. What enjoyable activities can you do by yourself sometimes?

-Teresa

SofiasMami said:

Triple Bogey said:

You could go places by yourself. Walking, cycling, visiting museums.
And then you are not relying on other people to get out of the house.

Click to expand...

I agree with this. People are definitely flakey when it comes to making plans so there's nothing wrong with you on that.
You can still go out and hang out even by yourself. Why deny yourself that?
I have a handful of very good friends that I know won't break plans but with everyone else it's just "yeah, we should meet up for lunch sometime!" and then we never do.
I have a membership at an art museum here in town so I can go as much as I want. Some weekends I go and take a docent tour just to have someone to chat with. I always feel better afterwards. What enjoyable activities can you do by yourself sometimes?

-Teresa

Click to expand...

I mean I don't really have many activities I do now being that I work 6 days a week. Being at the shop is really all I look forward to. Most of the time I'll just play Xbox whenever I'm home like I said before.

LonelySutton said:

Your not overreacting. First rule of the new "superficial" world language is
1. I don't mean anything that I say to you.

Second rule of the new superficial world is

2. people are simply pawns for my amusement and I owe them no duty whatsoever to reciprocate.

Third rule of the new superficial world

3. Don't try to make friends because it is a pretty rare thing indeed to find anyone who does not suffer from the above.

Click to expand...

Sadly, this is very true.

One of the 'friends' I was talking about in my first post texted me a little while ago, call me bitter but no way in hell im responding since that person did that to me last time I tried to hang out with them.

People are complicated beings ,and you should not try to understand them so much ,just think for how many things you change your feel ,thoughts etc .And some of them are perverse or they have problems etc .Be smart and dont do a huge problem of this