Do you ever feel that when you admire someone, you hate yourself?

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yip

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It's easy for people to relate to me/side with me if I get annoyed with people I don't like for doing or saying things that offend me.
But it can be a worse situation for interacting with people you like, because you think you can't compare to how well they relate their own experiences in a thought-provoking way, and at the same time are able to create a comfortable atmosphere for conversation. And I want to be able to do the same, but I'm worried that I'll be too deep and they won't know how to relate to me and I'll seem too serious. (Because I've related topics that are personal to me to someone and I think my seriousness made it uncomfortable). I think of bringing up the surface thoughts that I think I'm saying things that are making them uncomfortable, but I can't imagine even mentioning the issue without my mentioning being uncomfortable in itself. I'm not overthinking. I can really imagine how the situation will pan out, and it will turn out exactly this way. I tend to think before I say something, and most times I have a thought in mind that I don't always think to translate into words.
 
I think balancing the deeper, more profound content that you wish to discuss with others with more relaxed conversation is essential here along with being sure not to overdo it when you do bring it up. The other important thing to do is to pay attention to the intensity of the person's response. If they just start responding to everything you say with default replies like "yeah" and/or they seem uncomfortable or disinterested then just pull back on it. If it ends up where you don't even have to keep their attention because they're asking you questions about what you've told them and they seem enthused then you know you've reeled in their interest.
 
Every. Single. Day. I don't know how to pull back. I am too far in. I generally go until I crash completely :/
 
I always try to engage and ask as many questions about what they are saying as possible. It might get annoying sometimes but I'm just genuinely interested in them and curious about what they have to say or what they are up to.

Can't say everyone is as engaging back or super interested in keeping things going though.

I generally feel like a failure and admire a lot of people. I wouldn't say I hate myself because of them. I do feel judged a little bit and feel like a fresia up a lot of the time though.
 
I admire a lot of people but it doesn't make me hate myself. I can only aspire to be like them. There's so much I can learn from them. Everyone has something to offer and lessons they can teach, because we all face different issues in life. If I spent my time only thinking about what I lack I'd never be able to get anything done or even attempt to try to become like the people I admire. Once you start getting involved in the things you want to do and achieve, there just isn't enough time to sit around and think too much about that sort of thing. I've had quite poor self-esteem, but the reason for that wasn't comparison with others.
But although that's the title of the thread, I don't think that's quite the issue you're addressing here. I think you understand that you have a lot to offer, but interactions are difficult with those whose outlooks you'd appreciate an insight into. I understand what you mean in that it's not easy to talk to those you like because of the risk that they might feel uncomfortable or it might not be relateable to them. It's a lot to do with conversational skills more than anything and I'm not good at that myself, but I'm still learning by talking to people and making mistakes. I think paraiyar offered some good advice on that. It's great that you contemplate and focus a your ideas before you voice them, but initial hesitancy may sometimes make others feel like you're a little detached and disinterested. So perhaps it would be best to begin at the shallow end before you wade into deeper topics so that everyone is at ease and engaged and comfortable.
 

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