Another new guy

Hey,

I'm 25, a student about to graduate later this year, very disappointed at the past three years. Grade-wise it's been fine, but I could've reached out more. I live very far from my parents and old friends and never really got around to making new ones, even though I've lived here since 2012. It just gets harder and harder. I do talk to people at school and got to know some of them a bit. I have all these interests: photography, philosophy, writing fiction. There are some groups revolving around these activities and in theory I could join. In practice I chicken out at the last minute.

I'm not really sure what I hope to find here but it finally dawned upon me that this won't get better on it's own. I gotta try something.

Welcome to the forum

Join them. Seems like the worse that will happen is that you won't meet anyone and have lost nothing for it.

Why didn't I think of that? Just join them, it's so simple and yet this solution eluded me for so long.

All sarcasm aside, I know perfectly well that joining would be in my long-term interest. The problem is the anxiety that results whenever I actually try to attend. I guess in a sense "just" joining would be the answer because I can't see a way to wiggle out of that anxiety. I think I'm bound to feel massively uncomfortable at first. Anyway, it was my bad for not making it clear that the anxiety is the problem, not the question of whether or not to pursue my interests.

I knew you meant the anxiety because I've felt similar things before. What I meant with my post was that I found/find it helpful to constantly remind myself that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain (doing this on my recent holiday overseas alone really helped me) that by doing this, I could sometimes psych myself up and push through my anxiety. I also think getting a few harsh rejections from girls overseas made me realize that most of the time, the feeling of regret you will have over being paralysed by the fear of social rejection from people in general along with that "what could have been?" feeling are far worse than the actual experience of social rejection and it's been helpful to bear this in mind whenever I feel the anxiety trying to overpower me.

So my reply may have seemed simple to the point of being worthless but perhaps that's only because after all this time I've found that the methods I've used to fight anxiety really are quite simple on paper if a bit more demanding in practice.

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Anyway, I have a feeling that if you mustered up the strength to go along to just one of the groups you want to join then you'd probably have a good experience and it would make going to them easier and easier. Maybe ask someone that you've got to know a bit if they'd be interested in going with you if you think they'd be open to it.

Welcome

Hey Sanchez, welcome to the forum! Check out the forum chat if you haven't already done so.

Hi, Sanchez