Why are people so untrusting

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BadGuy

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Have we all been screwed over so much that we cant trust a stranger ?

I have changed more flat tires in my life than I can remember for strangers and I can tell they are nervous
They are usually for females and they are usually shocked when I tell them they owe me nothing and have a great day
 
The people in my life who have screwed me over, are all ones who I am familiar with and know. I find it easier to trust the unknown to be unknown.
 
BadGuy said:
Have we all been screwed over so much that we cant trust a stranger ?

I have changed more flat tires in my life than I can remember for strangers and I can tell they are nervous
They are usually for females and they are usually shocked when I tell them they owe me nothing and have a great day

Depends on what I'm trusting them with. Broadly speaking I distrust strangers with my physical safety and familiar people with my emotional safety. And yes, because I've been "screwed over so much".
 
Because a not-so-small minority of people are very untrustworthy. At least I think they're the minority but I could be wrong.
 
People have lost the ability to take kindness at face value. Maybe the media is to blame or maybe the advent of technology and urbanisation has robbed us of some our native ability to trust, but we often attribute nefarious ulterior motives to generous strangers that are imaginary.
 
It's projection.

Most people are untrustworthy and would screw you over in a heartbeat.

So they assume everyone else is like that too, which ultimately spreads the problem.
 
I think there's a difference between blind trust and caution. You don't know a stranger. And a woman is usually smaller and has less strength to fend off a possible attacker. Once, I was invited to get into a stranger's car to drive me from the end of a hiking trail to the train station and I said no. If something had happened, I doubt I could have gotten out of the situation or that anyone would have been able to help me. Not to say that people aren't genuinely kind, but it's the small minority that uses "kindness" to lure victims that makes caution necessary.
 
Paraiyar said:
Because a not-so-small minority of people are very untrustworthy. At least I think they're the minority but I could be wrong.

This.

I find it ironic that the OP here is named "BadGuy".

LOL :) humn....
 
LonelySutton said:
Paraiyar said:
Because a not-so-small minority of people are very untrustworthy. At least I think they're the minority but I could be wrong.

This.

I find it ironic that the OP here is named "BadGuy".

LOL :) humn....
lower expectations that way LOL
 
I'm personally not trusting of everyone, especially random people I don't know, because I think it would be idiotic for me to trust them. Sure, the majority of people probably wouldn't do anything wrong, but I'll stay on the safe side and not even bother to find out. The argument of leaning towards trusting everyone isn't something that will be won with me.
 
Personally I don't trust anyone, except those I know not to trust. Why? Because I can trust them to screw me over. I love predictable people, hehe.

Nah, I have been screwed over and betrayed by lots of friends over the past years, so I don't trust anyone anymore. Which is a shame, but hey. A stranger being kind to me I'll take at face value though, but I won't be giving them an opportunity to turn that around. So I suppose it depends on experiences.
 
I do think something fundamentally broke in society in the 1960s. Prior to that I think people were taught it was the norm to be kind and good. And people I think believed they would pay if they didn't. So you could mostly trust people. But in the 1960s sort of an era of "jaded" came in and you can see it in the popular culture. I can't tell you how many movies that I have seen over the last few years that seem to delight in pulling the rug out from under the characters with horrible people. And there seems to be like a culture that is fascinated by deception. As if it is a cool thing. See movies like Malice and tv shows like "how to get away with murder". People think it is cool to be deceptive and screw others over. People think that is "just looking out for themselves". Serial killers are beloved on TV and in the movies.

In addition I think the economy has become so horrible lately that people are pushed, more than they normally would be, to take first and ask questions later. Because they need the money more than you might. (or they think that in their minds)

I think it is great that you change flat tires for people Bad Guy. I do believe in Karma and I do believe you will be rewarded. But understand that it isn't about you that people don't trust, it is just the world we have to live in.
 
Motive and situational awareness.

Many, if not most, have arrived at the conclusion that you can lie to a person if it suits you or you benefit.

We are lied to by the media, politicians, teachers, instructors, parents, friends, family.... that's why we are so untrusting. We know that people WILL lie to us if we ask if our butt looks big in certain clothing... we know that if we ask a tough question, they will avoid a tough answer if it makes them uncomfortable.

This is reinforced by the fact that people nowadays equate feeling uncomfortable or hearing something they don't like, with something bad and/or negative. This ensures personal growth and coping mechanisms are not formed.

Constructive criticism is becoming a thing of the past, if we are honest with someone and they don't like what they hear, they will blame and abuse us for it. That discourages truth and honesty.
 
Digitales said:
This is reinforced by the fact that people nowadays equate feeling uncomfortable or hearing something they don't like, with something bad and/or negative. This ensures personal growth and coping mechanisms are not formed. Constructive criticism is becoming a thing of the past, if we are honest with someone and they don't like what they hear, they will blame and abuse us for it. That discourages truth and honesty.

Extremely interesting and accurate insight.
 
LonelySutton said:
I think it is great that you change flat tires for people Bad Guy. I do believe in Karma and I do believe you will be rewarded. But understand that it isn't about you that people don't trust, it is just the world we have to live in.

I know people come to a decision at first site
At one time I had long hair and full beard ...reactions were worse

Not so long ago before just about everyone had a personal cell phone I stopped for a woman walking on the highway between exits after a some what minor car accident
I stopped my pickup well ahead of her and could immediately see the fear on her face
I didnt get out of my pickup instead opened the rear window and told her to go back to her vehicle and I would exit the highway and call for police
After calling police I circled back to the accident scene ...then the woman was on me like we were friends all our lives
Go figure
 
Can't you just be satisfied with helping?

Maybe they're right to be wary of a complete stranger. Some people are dangerous and there's no way of knowing who. If it weren't the case they'd be no need for prisons.
 
ardour said:
Can't you just be satisfied with helping?

Maybe they're right to be wary of a complete stranger. Some people are dangerous and there's no way of knowing who. If it weren't the case they'd be no need for prisons.

I am satisfied by helping ..thats why I do it
 
BadGuy said:
I didnt get out of my pickup instead opened the rear window and told her to go back to her vehicle and I would exit the highway and call for police After calling police I circled back to the accident scene ...then the woman was on me like we were friends all our lives

Well once you show your intent of course everyone will be grateful. I am always grateful when someone sort of has a trust but verify attitude and I do think there are a ton of kind people out there. When my parents were elderly they broke down on a back road and this guy came out and helped them and paid for their tire. He insisted he wouldn't take money and to this day I have no idea who it was.

Blew me away. Still makes me tear up.
 
LonelySutton said:
BadGuy said:
I didnt get out of my pickup instead opened the rear window and told her to go back to her vehicle and I would exit the highway and call for police After calling police I circled back to the accident scene ...then the woman was on me like we were friends all our lives

Well once you show your intent of course everyone will be grateful. I am always grateful when someone sort of has a trust but verify attitude and I do think there are a ton of kind people out there. When my parents were elderly they broke down on a back road and this guy came out and helped them and paid for their tire. He insisted he wouldn't take money and to this day I have no idea who it was.

Blew me away. Still makes me tear up.

I grew up in the country ...its what I know
I have actually been asked why I am not afraid of the person I am helping LOL
 

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