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sharkattack89

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Well me and my ex fiancée broke up 4 months ago or so. We didn't see each other much the first 2 months. I messed up received nudes from other girls and she developed a crush on someone else at work and my best friend kissed her when I was sleeping in our bed and they were in the living room. We had our problems before but all that aside I still love her with all my heart we have a beautiful daughter together and I want to be a family again. My ex fiancée has become extremely depressed again like before we were together. she is starting to cut herself and she is being bulimic and she calls me now to come over and support her and now sleep together in the same bed and always getting massages to me telling me she loves me and she has been thinking about us getting back together. But my thing is is this right? she still has a crush on someone and I love her and would do anything for her. but would it just destroy me to get back with her or being here all the time for her support. We have a daughter that needs her here and happy and I want our family back together more than anything the break up caused me to realize how important my family is and that I have of my own. I have been working on my anger and jealousy but I have never truly trusted someone in a relationship. I just don't know anymore and have been thinking of seeking professional help.

Any thoughts for me?
 
It sounds like you are working through your issues but she needs to get mentally healthy which she clearly isn't before the two of you look at the possibility of getting back together if you both end up deciding that it is in your best interest. Do you think she's open to getting help for her bulimia and self harming? That would be the first issue to focus on in my opinion>
 
Paraiyar said:
It sounds like you are working through your issues but she needs to get mentally healthy which she clearly isn't before the two of you look at the possibility of getting back together if you both end up deciding that it is in your best interest. Do you think she's open to getting help for her bulimia and self harming? That would be the first issue to focus on in my opinion>

She tells me all the time she wants to get back on her depression medication and wants to go see a psychologist again. But its too much of a process of getting one through the insurance she has. I have been trying to help her get both of those but I can only help her get a psychologist not a psychiatrist. but I don't know exactly really what she wants. she still really has a crush on this coworker of hers even though he just moved an hour away. This family and this girl is everything to me I just don't know If I can turn into my old self and just say fresia it and move on and have meaningless sex and have fun and be young or stay and fight for her which I have been doing for so long now. I just don't want to get used and abused. thank you for your imput
 
I can 100% understand why you want to keep your family together, but let me ask you this. WHY do you want to be a family with her again? Is it because of your daughter? Maybe because it's familiar? Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way saying you don't love, I'm sure you do, but love isn't always enough sometimes.

Now, let me ask you something else. If she were to come back, would you trust her? Would it really make YOU happy?

You will notice that I didn't put your daughter in the equation much. Because I know she WOULD likely be happier with her family "whole." But, if you allow your ex to come back and you don't trust her or you wouldn't be happy with her, it would put greater stress on your daughter because she will pick up on that stuff. As hard as it is, more often than not, it's better to split and be amicable with each other than try to make things "better" by staying together or even getting back together.

I'm not saying really to do one or the other, just think long and hard about the whys of letting her come back or not letting her come back. Look at all the pros and cons and do what's best for you and your daughter. Good luck.
 
Yes you must dont trust in anybody today ,but if you love your fiance fight for her and speak with her .Be the man
Ans said to het that you want to be toghether
 
TheRealCallie said:
I can 100% understand why you want to keep your family together, but let me ask you this. WHY do you want to be a family with her again? Is it because of your daughter? Maybe because it's familiar? Don't get me wrong, I'm not in any way saying you don't love, I'm sure you do, but love isn't always enough sometimes.

Now, let me ask you something else. If she were to come back, would you trust her? Would it really make YOU happy?

You will notice that I didn't put your daughter in the equation much. Because I know she WOULD likely be happier with her family "whole." But, if you allow your ex to come back and you don't trust her or you wouldn't be happy with her, it would put greater stress on your daughter because she will pick up on that stuff. As hard as it is, more often than not, it's better to split and be amicable with each other than try to make things "better" by staying together or even getting back together.

I'm not saying really to do one or the other, just think long and hard about the whys of letting her come back or not letting her come back. Look at all the pros and cons and do what's best for you and your daughter. Good luck.

+1000
 
That doesn't sound like much of a best friend to me. Surely they knew that the two of you were/are a thing together. If someone's kissing up on the person I'm with or have recently broken up with, that's no friend of mine.
 

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