Loneliness is weird

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Fustar

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Feeling lonely for most comes and goes. Some people always feel lonely. I get distracted by life and am too busy to notice. When I do get lonely it feels worse each time, I find it weird. Does it just build up over time? Being lonely when people are around is the worse, because I think most people don't want to hear about your problems, and perhaps your loneliness reminds them of theirs. How can you be lonely when your around people who care about you? I happen to feel I'm lonely because the ones that care are obligated and so I don't want to bother them with anything. I think maybe finding someone who chooses to care and is someone you want to care about as well would make me feel better. What do you all think?
 
I could be alone in my thinking here, but I think that if people really do care, they won't feel "obligated" to care when you talk about your problems. They will want to listen and help you. But the problem is, do such people really exist? People that will listen to your problems and it not be a "burden" to them? I'm not so sure anymore if they do.
 
I agree with the op that being with people who don't want to hear about your problems or loneliness is lonelier than being alone. It means you have to keep a mask on all the time that you are with them.
When it comes to being 'obligated' to care, it can be hurtful to know that someone is listening to you because they feel they have to rather than because they want to, though I think that in many situations there is a mixture of the two. We may listen to a friend or relative talking about their unreliable partner or their awful job for the hundredth time and we listen because we genuinely care but also because we feel we are obliged to as they are close to us.
 
Tiina63 said:
I agree with the op that being with people who don't want to hear about your problems or loneliness is lonelier than being alone. It means you have to keep a mask on all the time that you are with them.
When it comes to being 'obligated' to care, it can be hurtful to know that someone is listening to you because they feel they have to rather than because they want to, though I think that in many situations there is a mixture of the two. We may listen to a friend or relative talking about their unreliable partner or their awful job for the hundredth time and we listen because we genuinely care but also because we feel we are obliged to as they are close to us.

I agree, sometimes it is mixture of both. What's nice is when someone at least wants to try to care. Not because they have to for any number of reasons, but because they care about you just because they do.
 
i guess i feel lonely more intensely at certain parts of my day but there's still that lingering ache of being close to no one
 
Also in life we atract at what we think the most if you continue to watch and focus on you loneliness you will attact more in your life .You must vizualize and imagine that you have friends around you and you are happy etc and your life will change
 
i agree with you in all but where is that person that wanted to be cared and want to care?? Is inexistent!!!
 
handheart said:
Also in life we atract at what we think the most if you continue to watch and focus on you loneliness you will attact more in your life .You must vizualize and imagine that you have friends around you and you are happy etc and your life will change

I wish i could manage my mind that way. If people could do that, humanity wont have anymore troubles.
 
Yes - people who care are the solution to loneliness but I don't really know where to find them.

I find social media worse than useless for making new friends and it looks really bad to have a profile on Facebook with no friends. In social media as in most other areas of life, friends beget friends - you meet people through a network of friends and aquaintances and if you don't have one to start with the outlook is pretty poor (in my experience).

But hey - I'm still optimistic and open to the element of chance that perhaps two minds will find each other in their hour of need.
 
Could be a variety of things. For me it's when I really want company but it's just not there, or I want to talk about something but don't know who I'd talk to. Or when I go through holidays alone.

The friends I do have, I often feel like I don't want to trouble them. Some of them were raised to be very closed about feelings and always present a happy face, I think, so I don't think they know what to say. The problems I have don't exactly have easy solutions.

Like you said, if you're busy and especially with something you actually love it's hard to notice. When I'm really focusing on something everything else is blocked out.

LonesomeDay said:
Yes - people who care are the solution to loneliness but I don't really know where to find them.

I find social media worse than useless for making new friends and it looks really bad to have a profile on Facebook with no friends. In social media as in most other areas of life, friends beget friends - you meet people through a network of friends and aquaintances and if you don't have one to start with the outlook is pretty poor (in my experience).

But hey - I'm still optimistic and open to the element of chance that perhaps two minds will find each other in their hour of need.

Yeah, Facebook is largely for people who've met each other offline or who go to the same school. I'm not sure outside of groups how people would really meet people there.

I used it for a couple years, but most people were really more like acquaintances and it was just watching a stream of activity I wasn't involved in.
 

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