NZguy
Member
Hi all- new to this site.
I am a 22 year old male Living in NZ. I don't really know what I want out of posting this but it seems like its a good idea to just throw it all out there and see what comes back.
Where to begin...
I have zero self confidence, I am an anxious person, I have little self worth, I am extremely self conscious, very shy, very quiet and on top of that several other things.
I know it isn't the best or the most reliable thing to do but recently I have done heaps of those online anxiety, self esteem and depression tests and ALL of them don't look good. I have no doubt that seeing these results whether reliable or not is not helping my state of mind.
I am so self conscious that I never even laugh or rarely smile for worry about what people think of me. When told to smile for a photo (which I try my best to avoid) I cannot- it is as if I have forgotten how to smile. I HATE to have the spotlight on myself. I hate birthdays because I dislike receiving gifts.
I find myself unappealing/unattractive. I feel as if I have little to offer. I still live at home because I lack the mental strength to leave, I dislike change and leaving home would be deeply unsettling for me.
I do have friends, none are really good friends which I can talk to about this and although extremely close to my parents I do not/will not talk to them about myself. If invited to go out with friends I usually agree but then leave early or make an excuse no to go at all.
Because of all of this I am still a virgin, I have never had a girlfriend nor have I been intimate or even kissed a girl.
All of these 'issues' are clearly holding me back from life. I have a good job that pays well and one I mostly enjoy. People looking from the outside think I am a happy person but after years and years of practice my façade is very good.
I know some of you and others would say just go on, force yourself out there and just do it! But.... as people like me know it isn't that easy. There seems to be an impenetrable barrier.
I look forward to chatting.
Thanks for reading
I am a 22 year old male Living in NZ. I don't really know what I want out of posting this but it seems like its a good idea to just throw it all out there and see what comes back.
Where to begin...
I have zero self confidence, I am an anxious person, I have little self worth, I am extremely self conscious, very shy, very quiet and on top of that several other things.
I know it isn't the best or the most reliable thing to do but recently I have done heaps of those online anxiety, self esteem and depression tests and ALL of them don't look good. I have no doubt that seeing these results whether reliable or not is not helping my state of mind.
I am so self conscious that I never even laugh or rarely smile for worry about what people think of me. When told to smile for a photo (which I try my best to avoid) I cannot- it is as if I have forgotten how to smile. I HATE to have the spotlight on myself. I hate birthdays because I dislike receiving gifts.
I find myself unappealing/unattractive. I feel as if I have little to offer. I still live at home because I lack the mental strength to leave, I dislike change and leaving home would be deeply unsettling for me.
I do have friends, none are really good friends which I can talk to about this and although extremely close to my parents I do not/will not talk to them about myself. If invited to go out with friends I usually agree but then leave early or make an excuse no to go at all.
Because of all of this I am still a virgin, I have never had a girlfriend nor have I been intimate or even kissed a girl.
All of these 'issues' are clearly holding me back from life. I have a good job that pays well and one I mostly enjoy. People looking from the outside think I am a happy person but after years and years of practice my façade is very good.
I know some of you and others would say just go on, force yourself out there and just do it! But.... as people like me know it isn't that easy. There seems to be an impenetrable barrier.
I look forward to chatting.
Thanks for reading