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thisisfeb

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I don't know where to start and where to end so i'll just tell you guys as the though passes or goes in my mind,please bare with me English is not my native language. I am really hopeless and lost right now,it seems that life for me has no meaning at all. I am like a walking zombie with nowhere to go.
First i manged to screw up my job(not the first time).It has been my pattern and i really don't know what is up with me,it's like i fear that something that good(my job)will not stay forever. And now i'm financially broke,my rent is due on July 30,i might be homeless after that,God knows what is gonna happen next,i fear every waking day, I just wanna bury myself in sleep and not wake up at all. Maybe that will be a good idea because right now i really don't know what to do.
I have a very low self esteem this due to myself being so shy and all. I don't have any deformities or something like that,i am just like this, i would rather be alone than socialize with other people.
Sorry for the mixed sentences here guys. My mind is wandering like a kite.
Anyway i am thinking that i should sell my kidney to pay for the mountains of debt that i'm in right now. That might even help someone in their sickness. I dont care what will happen to me afterwards.
I am really sad :(
 
I can't help but I can related. I don't know how I'm paying my rent next month, I've got a mountain of debt and I just want to hide under a rock. Hopefully knowing that someone else is in your position helps, you aren't alone my friend.
 
Like Nice but dim Jim says, I can't help either, other than to say I feel like you most days-wanting to bury myself in sleep.
Could you ask your landlord if he would agree to accept the rent in smaller instalments until you are more stable financially?
 
Do you have any friends/family to rally to in order to help with the rent? That feeling of a lack of security really does feel terrifying. I will pray for you friend.
 
Thanks for all your kind words guys. I asked the landlord nicely if i can make small installments of my rent but she refused,she said "pack your things if you cant pay on 30." Also i asked some so called friends of mine if they can lend me some money,i also assured them that i can pay it back 2 months after but none have replied or no one ever bothered to text,call,message back,it is so heart breaking,i'm really depressed right now. Maybe ill just end my life,no one cares anyway,so why bother.
I am fear the future now,i don't know what will happen to me after this,i have this stomach gut wrenching feeling that never goes away,my hands are shaking,i don't know what is causing this.
about sothatwasmylife question,i don't live in the US,in my country they don't care about the welfare of the poor. I already sold some items just to get some funds but still it is not enough,i'm crying right now while posting this :(
 
First of all, take a deep breath. What happened with your job? And, why is it a pattern? What is going on that is interfering with you keeping your job? That is the first thing you need to figure out. Right now, really need to focus on finding another job. And, your job needs to be your priority over everything else because you need that to support yourself.
 
sothatwasmylife said:
I guess it's an obvious question but would you qualify for any kind of state support, especially if you were working recently ?

Ohhhhhh look whos back (^O^)/.

As for OPs thread... I want to say that, you should fight, dont give up. Even if youre going to be homeless, continue fighting, go find a new job. Even two. Learn from the state youre in now and fight to not be in that state again.
If you decide to give up, then youre a loser.
 
Do you know anyone at all who would let you sleep on their sofa for a few weeks until you manage to become more sorted out? Do you have any family who would let you stay with them for a while? Are there any homeless shelters? Getting somewhere to live, even if temporary, would give you a base.
 
If worse comes to worst and you become homeless, try to prepare for it. I went through it for a bit more than a year, three decades ago.

Store most of your possessions somewhere, somehow and only have with you the essentials....don't be seen in public carrying around your stuff. Find out where you can bathe or shower, keep yourself reasonably clean. Locate where can legally loiter.....public libraries, laundromats, bus depots, train stations, public universities, whatever. And this is why you want to be reasonably clean and not carrying around your possessions......try to look "normal"

Have an address you can tell the police is where you live....even if you don't live there. The same applies to a prospective employer.....try to focus on getting a job, something that pays, and then save enough money to get yourself off the street. But be careful whom you tell that you're homeless.....a lot of people tend to shun street people. Focus on getting through this tough time and getting back to life in an apartment, boarding house, single room occupancy rented room........but off the street.

And know this, if you live through this ordeal, if you beat it and get a life back that you made for yourself, you'll be tougher and more resourceful for it. Whatever the future brings, you can say "I was on the street once and I survived and prevailed over it...."

Good luck! Of course, if you can avoid having the landlady kick you out in the first place, do that first......
 

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