Why are people so cruel?

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soresoul

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My daughter earlier this afternoon was going to meet a fellow off the website plenty of fish. They were going to meet at a restaurant. He texted her that he was on his way. My daughter asked me to come for protection purposes. Even though she's 20 but she wanted me there still,So I sat at a table with a friend of mine a few feet back to make it not as obvious I will be observing.

So she waits, he doesn't show up, okay the guy must be running late? So we continue to drink our sodas talking while she is waiting. Some more time goes by, no sign of this guy so she gets a little worried. I texted her to calm down and call him. She did no answer. More time goes by and again no sign of him. Now she's getting mad. So she went back on the website to check his status which read "online now" so she messages him on there, then a message pops up saying "this user has block you" and then the waterworks comes out of her.

I felt so terrible for her. The rest of the afternoon she's sitting in her room crying,confused,and baffled that someone would do this too someone. I'm at a lost for words. I can only tell her so much to forget him he's not worth it if he is a piece of honeysuckle too you. But she's not hearing that right now.

This person is a scumbag to do this to anyone!!
 
soresoul said:
Paraiyar said:
Maybe he has social anxiety and freaked out over it?

Reguardless he could of just texted her to let her know not just show up and block her.

Yeah, dick move on his part but maybe he didn't even the guts to do that.
 
I'm wondering if he showed up and noticed your daughter talking to you and your friend, figured *he* was being set up somehow, freaked, left, and blocked your daughter because he's upset. I don't know - another theory for you at least. Regardless of the 'why's' of the situation, it's still a childish move on his part...
 
ringwood said:
I'm wondering if he showed up and noticed your daughter talking to you and your friend, figured *he* was being set up somehow, freaked, left, and blocked your daughter because he's upset. I don't know - another theory for you at least. Regardless of the 'why's' of the situation, it's still a childish move on his part...

If that was the case, then he pulled a fast one. We did drove seperate cars, and I walked in 5 minutes after she got there. It was a seat yourself anywhere establishment place.
 
ringwood said:
I'm wondering if he showed up and noticed your daughter talking to you and your friend, figured *he* was being set up somehow, freaked, left, and blocked your daughter because he's upset. I don't know - another theory for you at least. Regardless of the 'why's' of the situation, it's still a childish move on his part...


My thought exactly
 
Lacrecia said:
My thought exactly

He is a jerk. But POF. Gosh no. There is this whole thing on the internet called nasty trolls. They hide behind the screen and try to hurt others (the way they were hurt) I am guessing he is scared of rejection himself and just does that kind of thing to hundreds of women. She should put all her internet dating sites away right now. That is no way to date. In its early hay day you could meet normal people on the net but NO longer.

It is no reflection on your daughter.

Why are people so cruel? Because they can be.
 
EmilyFoxSeaton said:
Lacrecia said:
My thought exactly

He is a jerk. But POF. Gosh no. There is this whole thing on the internet called nasty trolls. They hide behind the screen and try to hurt others (the way they were hurt) I am guessing he is scared of rejection himself and just does that kind of thing to hundreds of women. She should put all her internet dating sites away right now. That is no way to date. In its early hay day you could meet normal people on the net but NO longer.

It is no reflection on your daughter.

Why are people so cruel? Because they can be.

I agree. I'm too old for that dating bullshit. I'm glad that I met my loving lady the way we did. We both had the same common interest and honestly, I just don't see myself with any other lady let alone dating online. But I get it, it's hard to meet people in a scene or the real world because people can be up front judgemental on looks. I guess in a way online dating is an okay way to get to know each other, but yet people are fake on there too. I dunno...
 
ringwood said:
I'm wondering if he showed up and noticed your daughter talking to you and your friend, figured *he* was being set up somehow, freaked, left, and blocked your daughter because he's upset. I don't know - another theory for you at least. Regardless of the 'why's' of the situation, it's still a childish move on his part...

It's more likely he's just a dick who likes to mess with people.

I don't think she needs him to be there in a near public place like a restaurant though. If someone told me that they wanted their father there observing in order to feel safe, I would politely decline. It would feel incredibly awkward.
 
I was on that very site briefly and had something similar happen to me. (This was about three years ago). I chatted with a guy for a couple of weeks and he asked if we could meet. I suggested a busy park close by. The day we were supposed to meet (and Id just texted with him the night before) I sent him a text verifying the time. He never responded but I saw him on the site later that day. I sent him a text and told him I felt an explanation was in order. Of course he never texted back. I guess by that time (Id been using the on line sites for about a year) my skin had thickened and I didn't give it much more thought. It was silly though...he repeatedly said that he was counting on me to show up and would be hurt if I didn't and then HE stood me up. POF is not a good place.
Looking back, I think the guy likely just chickened out or had major anxiety.
I hope your daughter can get past it. It's absolutely no reflection on her - it's the other person's issue. I would suggest she not use POF however.
 
This story is in no way exclusive to your daughter. It happens all the time, let her know that at least. Dating sites are notorious for having many trolls and weirdos amongst the good genuine people. Some of those sites are worse than others.

I've been in only 2 relationships my whole life, both started online. The second relationship blossomed into a marriage and move to the other side of the world, which is where I am now. Online stemmed relationships can certainly work, however, I met both my partners on non-dating sites. They were both found through sites such as this, where like-minded people could talk with no direct "goal" of a relationship, like dating sites obviously intend for. Sometimes I'm not sure having that sort of goal put before people is a good move. In real life, we tend to just bump into people that become our partners. We don't go out seeking it, at least not with a sign on us saying "available" like dating sites.

There is a saying about finding love when you least expect it, and you can see how that might ring true.
 
I'm sorry your daughter had to go through that. I've had no shows when using online dating and I quickly got over it because I quickly realised that not everyone is who they say they are. When they didn't turn up, I was more concerned about the fact I wasted my time and not worried why they didn't turn up. Also I found that that plenty of fish has a lot more fakes on there. Maybe use an alternative dating site/app like okcupid (I i met my boyfriend on there). People on there seem to be more genuine though you do get fake profiles and time wasters. I also agree with bubblebeam.
 
EveWasFramed said:
I was on that very site briefly and had something similar happen to me. (This was about three years ago). I chatted with a guy for a couple of weeks and he asked if we could meet. I suggested a busy park close by. The day we were supposed to meet (and Id just texted with him the night before) I sent him a text verifying the time. He never responded but I saw him on the site later that day. I sent him a text and told him I felt an explanation was in order. Of course he never texted back. I guess by that time (Id been using the on line sites for about a year) my skin had thickened and I didn't give it much more thought. It was silly though...he repeatedly said that he was counting on me to show up and would be hurt if I didn't and then HE stood me up. POF is not a good place.
Looking back, I think the guy likely just chickened out or had major anxiety.
I hope your daughter can get past it. It's absolutely no reflection on her - it's the other person's issue. I would suggest she not use POF however.

I'm speaking for myself but too me a busy park would make me feel uncomfortable for the fact of too many distractions (kids playing,background noise,people walking by, bums coming up to you ease dropping on your conversation etc..) granted that you choose a place with alot of people around for protection purposes and I get that. But too me, if I'm trying to have a conversation with a first time date and she gets distracted by things in the background not paying attention to you, I would be insulted. Granted not everyone would act that way but too me a restaurant is always best for a first time date.
 
I'm sorry. The location wasn't my point. My point was to pass along a similar experience to show that it's the other person who has the issue.

As far as the park, I don't live in a large town and the park I chose had plenty of place to have a relatively quiet conversation, as the children's play areas are contained elsewhere in the park. Meeting in a place like that costs nothing, is safe and (for me) is better than having a server interrupting every few minutes. Just my two cents, but again, not really the point of my post.
I hope your daughter gets past what the guy did.


soresoul said:
EveWasFramed said:
I was on that very site briefly and had something similar happen to me. (This was about three years ago). I chatted with a guy for a couple of weeks and he asked if we could meet. I suggested a busy park close by. The day we were supposed to meet (and Id just texted with him the night before) I sent him a text verifying the time. He never responded but I saw him on the site later that day. I sent him a text and told him I felt an explanation was in order. Of course he never texted back. I guess by that time (Id been using the on line sites for about a year) my skin had thickened and I didn't give it much more thought. It was silly though...he repeatedly said that he was counting on me to show up and would be hurt if I didn't and then HE stood me up. POF is not a good place.
Looking back, I think the guy likely just chickened out or had major anxiety.
I hope your daughter can get past it. It's absolutely no reflection on her - it's the other person's issue. I would suggest she not use POF however.

I'm speaking for myself but too me a busy park would make me feel uncomfortable for the fact of too many distractions (kids playing,background noise,people walking by, bums coming up to you ease dropping on your conversation etc..) granted that you choose a place with alot of people around for protection purposes and I get that. But too me, if I'm trying to have a conversation with a first time date and she gets distracted by things in the background not paying attention to you, I would be insulted. Granted not everyone would act that way but too me a restaurant is always best for a first time date.
 
EveWasFramed said:
I'm sorry. The location wasn't my point. My point was to pass along a similar experience to show that it's the other person who has the issue.

As far as the park, I don't live in a large town and the park I chose had plenty of place to have a relatively quiet conversation, as the children's play areas are contained elsewhere in the park. Meeting in a place like that costs nothing, is safe and (for me) is better than having a server interrupting every few minutes. Just my two cents, but again, not really the point of my post.
I hope your daughter gets past what the guy did.


soresoul said:
EveWasFramed said:
I was on that very site briefly and had something similar happen to me. (This was about three years ago). I chatted with a guy for a couple of weeks and he asked if we could meet. I suggested a busy park close by. The day we were supposed to meet (and Id just texted with him the night before) I sent him a text verifying the time. He never responded but I saw him on the site later that day. I sent him a text and told him I felt an explanation was in order. Of course he never texted back. I guess by that time (Id been using the on line sites for about a year) my skin had thickened and I didn't give it much more thought. It was silly though...he repeatedly said that he was counting on me to show up and would be hurt if I didn't and then HE stood me up. POF is not a good place.
Looking back, I think the guy likely just chickened out or had major anxiety.
I hope your daughter can get past it. It's absolutely no reflection on her - it's the other person's issue. I would suggest she not use POF however.

I'm speaking for myself but too me a busy park would make me feel uncomfortable for the fact of too many distractions (kids playing,background noise,people walking by, bums coming up to you ease dropping on your conversation etc..) granted that you choose a place with alot of people around for protection purposes and I get that. But too me, if I'm trying to have a conversation with a first time date and she gets distracted by things in the background not paying attention to you, I would be insulted. Granted not everyone would act that way but too me a restaurant is always best for a first time date.

Oh I know that wasn't your point but just saying that might be just a reason why he bailed on you. Maybe he wanted it more of a private setting then a crowded place. That's all I meant honestly, I should of clarify that in my previous post.
 
People are just more flakey now. I feel sorry for your daughter. But she needn't be distraught over a dumbass. There's just less people that are relationship material these days.
 
I once drove two hours on a slushy night to meet someone, only to be stood up. Self respect and responsibility aren't so popular right now.
 
I have actually met people from POF the very first thing the guy that contacted me said is "this doesnt work" but we are still friends.
I also met one of my bf on POF.

I have met a couple of people from okcupid. just one date never talked to them again really.

what i wouldnt recommend is tagged
 
Sorry about your daughter's experience. That would feel crummy for me too.

It could have been an accident, like others said, or the guy was afraid, or something like that. Or it could be intentional. There's not enough information to say. In my experience, I feel like people are cruel because it makes them feel superior. It's just too bad there's so many people like that.
 

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