My Experience With Lonliness

Every now and then I experience this horrible feeling of loneliness. It's not something that stays with me consistently. Most of the time I'll be completely fine being left alone, and then after a few months I start to feel lonely again. That's what I'm feeling right now, and I've reached a point where I no longer understand my loneliness. Every friend I've ever had has abandoned me in some way. So why should it bother me that I have no friends? Yet here I am so desperate for any kind of human interaction.

It's really quite pathetic. You should see my search history on Google. I've looked up everything from how to make friends, to where to make online friends. And granted, I've tried various forms of social media. No matter what I try I end up going unnoticed or ignored. Finally I ended up searching for online loneliness support groups and found this forum. I hope I can have some good conversations here. If nothing else, I'll be able to vent and get these feelings off my chest. And if I can help someone else along the way, then I think that would be great.

Hello PixiePalace and welcome to the site. I hope that you find on here some new friends. Wanting human contact and connection is a basic human need so you are not being 'pathetic' at all. We all need to feel that we matter, that someone cares about us. You won't be unnoticed or ignored here.

Welcome to forum.

When dealing with prolonged loneliness, some of us prefer to look for friendships as we do care about having connection with other humans. There is nothing pathetic about it; we just prefer it over total loneliness, although we are aware life would be less excruciating if we could force ourselves into a mindset that lessened painful characteristic of loneliness. However we really can't do it because we can't change what we care about.

You are searching for solutions to deal with loneliness and hopefully it will bring the best result for you. I do hope you find mutual friendship and connection here.

Thank you both for the warm welcome. I hope to make some good friends on here. If nothing else, at least I'll have some like minded people to converse with.

PixiePalace said:

Every now and then I experience this horrible feeling of loneliness. It's not something that stays with me consistently. Most of the time I'll be completely fine being left alone, and then after a few months I start to feel lonely again. That's what I'm feeling right now, and I've reached a point where I no longer understand my loneliness. Every friend I've ever had has abandoned me in some way. So why should it bother me that I have no friends? Yet here I am so desperate for any kind of human interaction.

It's really quite pathetic. You should see my search history on Google. I've looked up everything from how to make friends, to where to make online friends. And granted, I've tried various forms of social media. No matter what I try I end up going unnoticed or ignored. Finally I ended up searching for online loneliness support groups and found this forum. I hope I can have some good conversations here. If nothing else, I'll be able to vent and get these feelings off my chest. And if I can help someone else along the way, then I think that would be great.

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I'm new here, and what you wrote really resonated. I used to be pretty good being on my own, and I do have a few friends and a decent social life, but I've also been very lonely these past few years and not sure how to cope. This site is giving me hope. Thanks for joining and posting!

JenniferJones said:

PixiePalace said:

Every now and then I experience this horrible feeling of loneliness. It's not something that stays with me consistently. Most of the time I'll be completely fine being left alone, and then after a few months I start to feel lonely again. That's what I'm feeling right now, and I've reached a point where I no longer understand my loneliness. Every friend I've ever had has abandoned me in some way. So why should it bother me that I have no friends? Yet here I am so desperate for any kind of human interaction.

It's really quite pathetic. You should see my search history on Google. I've looked up everything from how to make friends, to where to make online friends. And granted, I've tried various forms of social media. No matter what I try I end up going unnoticed or ignored. Finally I ended up searching for online loneliness support groups and found this forum. I hope I can have some good conversations here. If nothing else, I'll be able to vent and get these feelings off my chest. And if I can help someone else along the way, then I think that would be great.

Click to expand...

I'm new here, and what you wrote really resonated. I used to be pretty good being on my own, and I do have a few friends and a decent social life, but I've also been very lonely these past few years and not sure how to cope. This site is giving me hope. Thanks for joining and posting!

Click to expand...

No problem! I think it's great that you could relate to my post. It means we're not as alone as we think we are.

Welcome

Loneliness cannot be cured. It is not a disease. And its mechanism isn't like diseases either.And yes, I too, have spent days, if not hours, searching, reading, watching about loneliness and its solutions. The reasons that they do not work is that those writers, are not in the same feeling that you are reading. They assume that the reader will simply read and follow the *simple* steps and her/his loneliness will be gone.

Loneliness will never go. It can only be suppressed. Well, what is the difference and why does it matter?
First the difference. The difference is the same one between taking a medicine that blocks your nerves and the one that cures the problem. In both the case, it doesn't ensure that it will never come back. Once you are lonely, you will be lonely again.
Well, if you took the steps correctly, and it went away, why did it come again? Were the steps in the paid news letter wrong? Think.

What should be done to suppress loneliness?
step 1: Understand it. Don't search, "How to cure loneliness?" It is equivalent to, "How to make a rocket engine?" They will tell you, but you won't have the resources to accomplish it anyway.
Say, "How does loneliness work?" It is equivalent to, "How do rockets work?" In this way, you will have a better understanding about loneliness.

Why would it be helpful to know about loneliness?
Well, if you research correctly, you will get the insights that this loneliness, depression, unworthiness, feeling unlovable, all are basically same things. And they are just different names of sadness.
Another thing you will learn is that loneliness is not related to people. And loneliness cannot be cured by people. I recently learned it the hard way, but it was important. People will never make you happy. They can make you sad, and they will. But they can't make you happy. Only you can make you happy. And by having some good friends around you will not *cure* your loneliness. It will try to suppress it, using the feelings of happiness. Once the happy feelings gone, you are back to loneliness again.

Perhaps I am optimistic despite my deep loneliness (which is quite oxymoronic in itself), but I have to believe that with friends and family who make me feel like I belong and that I matter (two things that are both missing at the moment), the depth and length of feeling lonely will reduce. I don't know if this is true. But I have to believe it is, because otherwise, the sadness will overwhelm me. It is good to be able to even say this on this forum. Just writing it and knowing others will read and think about, and respond to my thoughts, makes the loneliness go down one notch.

PixiePalace said:

JenniferJones said:

PixiePalace said:

Every now and then I experience this horrible feeling of loneliness. It's not something that stays with me consistently. Most of the time I'll be completely fine being left alone, and then after a few months I start to feel lonely again. That's what I'm feeling right now, and I've reached a point where I no longer understand my loneliness. Every friend I've ever had has abandoned me in some way. So why should it bother me that I have no friends? Yet here I am so desperate for any kind of human interaction.

It's really quite pathetic. You should see my search history on Google. I've looked up everything from how to make friends, to where to make online friends. And granted, I've tried various forms of social media. No matter what I try I end up going unnoticed or ignored. Finally I ended up searching for online loneliness support groups and found this forum. I hope I can have some good conversations here. If nothing else, I'll be able to vent and get these feelings off my chest. And if I can help someone else along the way, then I think that would be great.

Click to expand...

I'm new here, and what you wrote really resonated. I used to be pretty good being on my own, and I do have a few friends and a decent social life, but I've also been very lonely these past few years and not sure how to cope. This site is giving me hope. Thanks for joining and posting!

Click to expand...

No problem! I think it's great that you could relate to my post. It means we're not as alone as we think we are.

Click to expand...

I had the realization the other day that when I am feeling lonely, at least a million others -- if not more -- must be also feeling lonely, in which case there's a whole lot of us feeling the same way at the same time. I don't know how that helps, but for some reason, the idea that I am not the only one suffering, and that there are gentle and caring people out there that form a community through our suffering, made me feel a little bit less sad about my life situation.