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I think I know why Im such a social retard
07-24-2009, 09:27 AM
Post: #1
I think I know why Im such a social retard
The computer, internet. I am on almost all the time and I am realizing its not good for me.

I have shyness issues and low self esteem because of my cleft lip. Its very hard to live knowing your not at all attractive to the opposite sex.

A scary feeling I get is that the internet is like another life of me. I think its unhealthy to be online for most of the day so im packing my computer away for good. (use my laptop for occasional email checks)

Am I alone or did I trigger something in someone els?

~Angelo


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07-24-2009, 09:53 AM
Post: #2
RE: I think I know why Im such a social retard
Angelo91 Wrote:The computer, internet. I am on almost all the time and I am realizing its not good for me.

I have shyness issues and low self esteem because of my cleft lip. Its very hard to live knowing your not at all attractive to the opposite sex.

A scary feeling I get is that the internet is like another life of me. I think its unhealthy to be online for most of the day so im packing my computer away for good. (use my laptop for occasional email checks)

Am I alone or did I trigger something in someone els?

~Angelo

I feel exactly the same, but i think having "another life" online is better than having no life at all. If you think you can make your life better (by not using your computer) then it's a good thing, and you'll always have it, so you can go back to it whenever you feel like. But, if it's only because of you thinking "it's unhealthy to be online for most of the day" and no other reason, then i would leave the computer exactly where it is.

Sorry if i didn't make any sense.

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07-24-2009, 10:19 AM
Post: #3
RE: I think I know why Im such a social retard
join the no life club (h)


by this i mean stay in ALL chat all day like me and pun :'(


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07-24-2009, 01:10 PM
Post: #4
RE: I think I know why Im such a social retard
Punisher Wrote:I feel exactly the same, but i think having "another life" online is better than having no life at all. If you think you can make your life better (by not using your computer) then it's a good thing, and you'll always have it, so you can go back to it whenever you feel like. But, if it's only because of you thinking "it's unhealthy to be online for most of the day" and no other reason, then i would leave the computer exactly where it is.

Well said. I completely agree. For me personally, being able to post on a forum or chat to people, has helped tremendously. I don't know where I would be without that possibility. Of course, balance is always a good thing.

Also, I think that alot of "social people" are hooked on computers / the internet aswell. It's just a big part of life today, for good or bad.
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07-24-2009, 01:42 PM
Post: #5
RE: I think I know why Im such a social retard
You know what's wierd ?
I've only own a personal PC within the past two years and I've gotten less and less active.
I used one at work all the time..so the last thing I wanted to do was come home and stair at
the PC. The cell phone and text messaging is kind of retarded for me too.

Moderations had always been a struggle in my life. I always had some type of addictions
in my life. From gaming, music, women, hobbies, gambling, drugs, alcohol..etc

This computer thing is messing me up.
Kind of like someone trying to go on a diet...I guess. (you have to eat).
I'm trying to limit usage of it. I'm doing much better, however I still find myself on it more
than I should. I belive as long as I'm honest with myself and admitting it's creating
unmanageablities in my life, The better I'll get.

I spoken to my sponsor about it..so it's not like I'm keeping a secret.
I don't belive other people have OCPD as I do.

Well...fuck
I stopped smoking, I stopped drinking, I stopped drugging, I stopped gambling
I stopped fucking...Pretty soon I' ma figure out how to stop living too...
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07-25-2009, 08:55 AM
Post: #6
RE: I think I know why Im such a social retard
Same here but I dont think I could ever pack it away. I'd have nothing to do instead... pretty much everything I do is on my laptop like movies, TV shows, chatting, music, school stuff, homework... everything!

Angelo91 Wrote:I have shyness issues and low self esteem because of my cleft lip. Its very hard to live knowing your not at all attractive to the opposite sex.

You're not alone! I actually have a cleft lip too. It probably isnt as noticable as you think it is. I still kinda freak out when people look at my face so I try to look away at something random to try and get them to look away from my face and I get really embarrassed when they finally notice it and ask whats wrong with my face because I get all nervous and I dont know how to explain it to them Sad And when family friends say "Hey! You're actually as pretty as your mom and sisters if only.. umm.." then they point at my lips but you know what I dont care what they say cuz I like the way I look! I'm not saying that sometimes I dont hate having it but there are people who are alot worse so yea..

"What if all the world's inside of your head..
Just creations of your own.. Your devils and your gods..
All the living and the dead..
And you really are alone..
You can live in this illusion..

You can choose to believe..
You keep looking but you can't find the words..
Are you hiding in the dreams?"


Let's try not to get more messed up than we already are.
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07-25-2009, 10:40 AM
Post: #7
RE: I think I know why Im such a social retard
Sodium Wrote:Same here but I dont think I could ever pack it away. I'd have nothing to do instead... pretty much everything I do is on my laptop like movies, TV shows, chatting, music, school stuff, homework... everything!

Angelo91 Wrote:I have shyness issues and low self esteem because of my cleft lip. Its very hard to live knowing your not at all attractive to the opposite sex.

You're not alone! I actually have a cleft lip too. It probably isnt as noticable as you think it is. I still kinda freak out when people look at my face so I try to look away at something random to try and get them to look away from my face and I get really embarrassed when they finally notice it and ask whats wrong with my face because I get all nervous and I dont know how to explain it to them Sad And when family friends say "Hey! You're actually as pretty as your mom and sisters if only.. umm.." then they point at my lips but you know what I dont care what they say cuz I like the way I look! I'm not saying that sometimes I dont hate having it but there are people who are alot worse so yea..

Same here, I hate stares! I move to kansas in like 3 weeks and will finish my senior year of high there. New school, i gotta start all over again :/ Does thing ever end?

I wish I had your attitude about my cleft. Im working on it though and I plan on going to therapy in kansas for help Smile
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07-25-2009, 12:17 PM
Post: #8
RE: I think I know why Im such a social retard
Well atleast you got therapy to help you. I had no idea what it was. My parents never really explained it to me.. I remember when people asked me when I was younger I had no idea what to say so I said something different/random to each of them. I only figured out what it was when I was looking though a medical book.

I'm still not 100% comfortable when I talk face to face with people. Plus as a girl it really sucks since I cant grow a mustache to cover it up. I find it pretty hard to believe it when people say I'm pretty because I think they're just saying it to be nice. All the guys I know are into perfect flawless girls. I remember I tried hooking up my brother and he was like her nose is crooked or some other tiny flaw. I got really mad and thought wow wonder what guys think about me.. *Sigh*

Dont worry about it! If some one is bothered by the way you look, they're not worth it. Plus no one really cares in the end.. they'll notice it once, ask and never really mention it again.

Dont forget to smile Smile I hardly used to but everyone is beautiful when they smile!
So smile your ass off Big GrinBig Grin

I suck at giving advice but I hope I helped in some way Smile

"What if all the world's inside of your head..
Just creations of your own.. Your devils and your gods..
All the living and the dead..
And you really are alone..
You can live in this illusion..

You can choose to believe..
You keep looking but you can't find the words..
Are you hiding in the dreams?"


Let's try not to get more messed up than we already are.
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07-29-2009, 04:09 PM
Post: #9
RE: I think I know why Im such a social retard
(07-24-2009 09:27 AM)Angelo91 Wrote:  The computer, internet. I am on almost all the time and I am realizing its not good for me.

Am I alone or did I trigger something in someone els?

Yeah you almost got me. Sometimes I want to kill my computer, but then I realize I have no life without it. When my computer is off I am kinda lost, I get bored, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't even know what to do.
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08-24-2009, 03:13 PM
Post: #10
RE: I think I know why Im such a social retard
Maybe finding some kind of hobby will help? I've taken up guitar... and it's helped form friendships and given me something to do, it's also really enjoyable.


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