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Zorensus311

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I keep getting rejected. I work out in the gym to look good. I groom myself good but I'm still lonely. I'm 25 years old, never been kissed and never been loved by another girl. It's kinda my fault. I'm Asian (pacific islander) and I'm not into Asian girls. I always go for white chicks (my preference. This fall I am planning to go to South Korea to get my nose and chin augmentation to look like half Caucasians like Danniel Henney. I'm going to spend about $7k-$10k and it's a risk. My parents support this because they know my pain.

Even when I show confidence, they are not interested. Couple days ago I signed in online dating websites and it cost me almost $200. So far, I got nothing. I think I'm doom forever. I'm becoming too emotional because of loneliness. I cry every night and sometimes I cry in daytime.

My sister has a boyfriend, and their are buying a house. I am so happy for them, and I believe she will start a family pretty soon. I hope she will have a beautiful family and marriage.

I admit, I'm a shallow person and I'm not good looking. However, I have a nice body. My depression is my distraction. I cry a lot. I have failed a lot of accounting classes. Some of them I have taken like 5 times.

Again as I stated above, my surgery is coming this fall. I know, I will suffer both physically and emotionally. I just hope it will change my life into a better one.
I play video games with sad honorable death scenes. Every night, I ask God, "If my life is going to be a failure and lonely, please give me an honorable fight that would lead me to honorable death". I should have joined the armed forces.

I have created sad quotes
"If I'm ugly in life, please let me become beautiful when I die"
"Love is a freewill, it's God's gift, I love her but she doesn't love me. I am just not gifted, maybe this is my punishment for all of my sins".
 
How do you approach girls in public places like restaurant or libraries. Have you done it? Are you guys shallow?
 
i often approached the, dont' come to them, let them come to you method. it doesnt always work properly tho. it seems i can also attract the crazies.
 
White chicks are over rated. (is in your delusion).they're just people.
I only dated, lived with and married white women all my life.
As matter of fact in all my LTR, the women asked me out.
It was out of necesscity then prefernce.
Not too many single asian came into my life.
I simply didn't turned on a lot of latina women.
I have cross sections of friends but a majority of them are white.
So I guess there's a sense of ease being certain white people.
Not to say that all white people likes me.
I epxerience a lot of discriminations in my life.
It's a part of the wierdness of living in the USA

The odds were/is stack against my favor. I've been rejected by women
a lot. I lost count. I feel like honeysuckle after a rejection like anyone..but I bounce back
eventually. Sometime slowly. Other times faster.
I don't think the rejection rate would matter either way...I stopped keeping track.
I don't think plastice surgery would improve my chances with women.

I don't think my self-confidence is perfect and I don't think I'm a chick manget.
I do have an attitude at times and it's not all positive.

I suck at accounting. Have never took accounting in my entired life. I don't care much for accounting.
It dosn't really bother me if I don't do accounting.

I meet women wherever.

Shallow..what the hell do you mean by shallow?
Shallow to who and what?

Oh ..yeah I'm some asian dude. On a tuseday I don't really gives a rats ass what other people say, think or do.
I use to grow my hair almost down to my ass, wore snake skin boots, cut off T-shirts and my sun glasses at night.

Today...I slapp moose in my hair. It gives it the wet dirty look.

I only know 1 asian girl in my life. She's very beautiful. One of the pretties women I've met in my life
 
that is terrible that you are only attracted to white girls.. i think if you gave other girls a chance you would be surprised by how much you would be attracted to them once you are with them.

also instead of focusing on getting a girlfriend try and focus on getting rid of your depression. to do this, build healthy relationships with people; boys, girls.. boy-girls lol.

healthy relationships should help your depression and with time you will find someone. just try not to be so closed minded ..whites females are beautiful; yes... but often more than just the way someone looks is what creates attraction. i think with time you will figure that out on your own though.

oh and my goodness about the changing your nose and all that; i think that that is really bad. its a sign of low self-esteem.. which many people have. instead of spending money changing the way you look you need to focus on changing the way you think.

i know that is harder than it sounds though, but you have to work on it. in many ways i can say i'm ugly.... i dont have perfect teeth, i'm black so i have short un-growable kinky hair, i have a long face with lots of bumbs, dark skin...blah blah blah.. but at the end of the day.. although in the minority .. there are people out there who find all these things attractive, and i will end up with one of those people (i'm already with them)...

i hope that you really do listen to what i am saying. everyone is beautiful to someone. and beauty is not all that counts.

so my humble advice to you is to work on building healthy relations ships, foget girls for the moment, and be more open minded..
good luck.
 
Zorensus311 said:
I keep getting rejected. I work out in the gym to look good. I groom myself good but I'm still lonely. I'm 25 years old, never been kissed and never been loved by another girl. It's kinda my fault. I'm Asian (pacific islander) and I'm not into Asian girls. I always go for white chicks (my preference. This fall I am planning to go to South Korea to get my nose and chin augmentation to look like half Caucasians like Danniel Henney. I'm going to spend about $7k-$10k and it's a risk. My parents support this because they know my pain.

Even when I show confidence, they are not interested. Couple days ago I signed in online dating websites and it cost me almost $200. So far, I got nothing. I think I'm doom forever. I'm becoming too emotional because of loneliness. I cry every night and sometimes I cry in daytime.

My sister has a boyfriend, and their are buying a house. I am so happy for them, and I believe she will start a family pretty soon. I hope she will have a beautiful family and marriage.

I admit, I'm a shallow person and I'm not good looking. However, I have a nice body. My depression is my distraction. I cry a lot. I have failed a lot of accounting classes. Some of them I have taken like 5 times.

Again as I stated above, my surgery is coming this fall. I know, I will suffer both physically and emotionally. I just hope it will change my life into a better one.
I play video games with sad honorable death scenes. Every night, I ask God, "If my life is going to be a failure and lonely, please give me an honorable fight that would lead me to honorable death". I should have joined the armed forces.

I have created sad quotes
"If I'm ugly in life, please let me become beautiful when I die"
"Love is a freewill, it's God's gift, I love her but she doesn't love me. I am just not gifted, maybe this is my punishment for all of my sins".



Holy honeysuckle man, your life is just like mine. I'm Asian to, Chinese, except I kinda like Asian girls and I am only 18. I look decent I suspect, but I have spent money on products that would better my looks hoping for a girl friend or just a friend. I am not too the point where I am crying do to lack of relationships, but I feel depressed all the time. Luckily, though not enough to think about suicide. And about the honorable thing, I kinda know what you mean. I imagine myself sometimes taking a bullet for a hot ass chick that I don't even know. I never even kissed a girl yet, and I always tend to lie to people if they asked me if I have, kinda pathetic. I really hope you can get out of your predicament and find a hot ass wife that loves you, so then another another fellow lonely asian can find ease.
 
zorensus dude you are a lot like me. im asian as well and im 20. i have never had a girlfriend and never been kissed. sometimes the feeling of loneliness depresses me and can be overwhelming. i like all girls equally i don't have a preference. i know mostly white people and only a couple of asians. everytime im attracted to a girl though it has never been about the way they look, it's always been about their personality. one girl i was attracted to was very pretty and the other is what people would call a "plain jane." although none of them worked out, either i got rejected or i was too late on making a move (timing seems to be a serious problem in my life) it was their personality that i was attracted to. never judge a movie by its cover.

i was too depressed for about 2 years that i have stopped meeting people but this year i decided to give it a try and do some of the things that i used to be too shy to do. sometimes i have wondered maybe im just too ugly but it has never crossed my mind as a reason for girls rejecting me. sometimes i also blame myself for being asian but i later realized that i should be proud of who i am and my heritage (although there are some obvious challenges that other people throw at me). yes it hurts to be rejected so many times and the feeling of loneliness sometimes fill me with rage but it doesn't hurt to try and do something about it. whatever happens to me (for example i just got rejected today by another girl i have liked for a very long time) i always try to keep my head up at the end of the day (even though some nights it's almost impossible) and hope that something good will happen in the coming day and maybe that one day i'll run into a girl that would not reject me for a change.
 
RoflLoller said:
zorensus dude you are a lot like me. im asian as well and im 20. i have never had a girlfriend and never been kissed. sometimes the feeling of loneliness depresses me and can be overwhelming. i like all girls equally i don't have a preference. i know mostly white people and only a couple of asians. everytime im attracted to a girl though it has never been about the way they look, it's always been about their personality. one girl i was attracted to was very pretty and the other is what people would call a "plain jane." although none of them worked out, either i got rejected or i was too late on making a move (timing seems to be a serious problem in my life) it was their personality that i was attracted to. never judge a movie by its cover.

i was too depressed for about 2 years that i have stopped meeting people but this year i decided to give it a try and do some of the things that i used to be too shy to do. sometimes i have wondered maybe im just too ugly but it has never crossed my mind as a reason for girls rejecting me. sometimes i also blame myself for being asian but i later realized that i should be proud of who i am and my heritage (although there are some obvious challenges that other people throw at me). yes it hurts to be rejected so many times and the feeling of loneliness sometimes fill me with rage but it doesn't hurt to try and do something about it. whatever happens to me (for example i just got rejected today by another girl i have liked for a very long time) i always try to keep my head up at the end of the day (even though some nights it's almost impossible) and hope that something good will happen in the coming day and maybe that one day i'll run into a girl that would not reject me for a change.

I really envy you, to be able to ask a chick out. I don't even have to balls to do that yet.
 
Thanks for reading. My surgery is not just something to improve my looks. It's a fight for me. If this surgery kills me, it's ok. It it's a message that I tried hard to be loved. Love is like a business. In order to establish a business. You must take risks. Love is also a science, if you don't have it, they wont respond to you.

If this surgery doesn't meet my expectations. So what, I'll just take it out and get my money back.
If this surgery does meet my expectations. I'll have a higher self-esteem. My chances of attracting the opposite sex will be higher.

I may not be a funny person, but I'm a nice person. I care for others. I know my responsibilities and to protect my love ones. We are not perfect in this world, I know that. I'm trying to evolve. I don't want to extinct.

I gave guts to ask chicks but most of the time they turn me down.

I have a plan about this girl who rejected me. I always see her everyday and we are friends a tiny bit. I will ask her about my physical appearance. I will tell her she wont hurt me if she says I'm not attractive. I will tell her "I'm not your friend and you shouldn't worry about me getting hurt. I'm just a stranger looking for answers. I don't want lies or bullshit like "you are fine, you look ok." I only want yes or no answer.With your answer, atleast I'm finally out of the dark and I will thank you. I can finally move on."
 
Zorensus311 said:
Thanks for reading. My surgery is not just something to improve my looks. It's a fight for me. If this surgery kills me, it's ok. It it's a message that I tried hard to be loved. Love is like a business. In order to establish a business. You must take risks. Love is also a science, if you don't have it, they wont respond to you.

If this surgery doesn't meet my expectations. So what, I'll just take it out and get my money back.
If this surgery does meet my expectations. I'll have a higher self-esteem. My chances of attracting the opposite sex will be higher.

I may not be a funny person, but I'm a nice person. I care for others. I know my responsibilities and to protect my love ones. We are not perfect in this world, I know that. I'm trying to evolve. I don't want to extinct.

I gave guts to ask chicks but most of the time they turn me down.

I have a plan about this girl who rejected me. I always see her everyday and we are friends a tiny bit. I will ask her about my physical appearance. I will tell her she wont hurt me if she says I'm not attractive. I will tell her "I'm not your friend and you shouldn't worry about me getting hurt. I'm just a stranger looking for answers. I don't want lies or bullshit like "you are fine, you look ok." I only want yes or no answer.With your answer, atleast I'm finally out of the dark and I will thank you. I can finally move on."

Man, its pretty screwed up that society has driven you to improve your looks via surgery. ****, I'm mean what the hell is wrong with people these days. Is everything about looks **** it? I know there are some girls out there (their rare, but their out there) that don't care about looks as long as there is a well enough personality in the person. But most of the time these girls aren't great lookers themselves, if your looking for someone just for looks, then you might as well be a hipycrit. Join a church and go on sundays, especially small ones. During my first day at a church everyone said hi and shook hands with me, it felt like everyone was so nice. But after a while, those people just ignored me, and now I don't go anymore.
 
Yeah. If you don't look good you don't get looked at. (you're invisible)
I'm thinking of surgery myself. Maybe if I look better then people will give me a chance.
 
I think if you don't look great people may actually get to know you for who you are instead of how you look. But people are WAY too caught up with how hey look today. Not that many people are really goin to judge you based on appearancce.
 
Ok sure they will they will judge your personality if you don't have the appearance, but remember women have preference on men. They want looks too. Women are like "He's so nice, but I don't have any feelings for him. I'll just find someone else I'm attracted to. AKA Mr. Right". This surgery is my last resort.

I wanna be worthy. Rejections make me feel worthless. If I can't be worthy, **** this world. My life is like a card game. I have nothing to bet but my life. Hopefully, there wont be anymore pain when I get my plastic surgery. But if my expectations fails, I don't know how much pain I will be able to bear. Hopefully, I will still have enough life to bet.

I'll never let this post die till I'm done fighting.
 
It's great that you're working out and keeping yourself well-groomed.

Instead of getting plastic surgery, you should try changing your mentality, attitude, and approach as far as talking with girls goes (and way more importantly, how you see and feel about yourself). Also, try keeping your eyes open for a girl of any race. As long as there's attraction, chemistry, etc, then that's all that matters.

No offense, but to me, the fact that you consider yourself to be ugly and want to change the way you look is an example of the weakness that girls probably see in you. Just my point of view.

Zorensus311 said:
Women are like "He's so nice, but I don't have any feelings for him. I'll just find someone else I'm attracted to. AKA Mr. Right".

That's one problem. Being very nice to them will get you no where. You must make them value your attention. Girls say they want a nice guy, but what they say isn't always what they really want. A lot of times they simply say what society would want them to say they like in a guy.

The truth is, what attracts women is being assertive, self-loving and self-respecting, and not bending over for them or being too nice, as it shows that your desperate and they'll move on to someone who's attention and affection is harder to get, AKA the douchebags/******** whom the girls seem to be very fond of.

I'm not saying to turn into one of those guys. Hell, I'd never want to be like them. But there are just certain things that attract women.
 
When I read Zorensus311's post, I said to myself, "wow that's just like me, only without the Asian part".

Growing up I was always somewhat overweight and got teased a lot for it. I eventually ostracized myself because I felt I wasn't worthy enough to be around other people. I've had very few friends.

I started working out a year ago, mostly as a way to distract myself from the loneliness of living alone and since then lost 50 lbs. Right now I am very satisfied with the way I look...

...but...

Nothing's changed. Growing up, I deluded myself into thinking that if I was just better looking the entire world would open up for me. It's not true. You have to actually have substance for people to like you. And because I withdrew, I don't have that now. So now I need to actually scrape a life together while dealing with the fact that everything I thought I knew about the world has become undone. And I'm realizing that I've wasted so much time alone when I should have been building a social life regardless of what I looked like.

Zorensus311, I would say that you are going down a dangerous path by having this surgery. It will not solve anything, and you might even end up worse than you did before as your world crashes down like it did for me. My white neighbor, who was and absolutely gorgeous, had an Asian boyfriend. I think in today's world many women don't really think about racial boundaries that much. Of course some do, but that's life. I'm not going to say that you're wrong for only wanting white women, because you shouldn't have to settle for someone that you aren't physically attracted to.
 
zorensus i guess if you really want to go through with the plastic surgery no one can stop you. as you said you will never let this thread die until you're done fighting. so keep us updated and let us know what happens. i wish you the best. but just know that i am a lot like you. im asian and i have failed at many things also. all the talents i think i have, there's always someone much better than me at it. to me i think im a failure. it's hard to accept but it's something that i have to live with. i have never been good at making friends and meeting girls but just a couple days ago i talked to a random stranger that sits beside me in one of my classes. she only talked to me a little bit and the next class i didn't sit beside her because i didn't see her. however, after class i saw her and she actually waited for me and said hi. the feeling that someone i thought didn't care and that i barely even know acknowledged me have made me quite happy. no one has ever done this to me in my life and i have not been so happy for years. it will probably all change very quickly but for now i can actually say that i feel good about who i am. what im trying to get at is that try to just make small talk with some random stranger. if you go to school sit beside someone and ask what year they are in and start a conversation. believe me i have been turned down by people, abandoned by people i used to call friends and i know it hurts. it's an indescribable feeling. just try to make one more effort before you go through with the surgery.
 
Hadrurus said:


Zorensus311 said:
Women are like "He's so nice, but I don't have any feelings for him. I'll just find someone else I'm attracted to. AKA Mr. Right".

That's one problem. Being very nice to them will get you no where. You must make them value your attention. Girls say they want a nice guy, but what they say isn't always what they really want. A lot of times they simply say what society would want them to say they like in a guy.

The truth is, what attracts women is being assertive, self-loving and self-respecting, and not bending over for them or being too nice, as it shows that your desperate and they'll move on to someone who's attention and affection is harder to get, AKA the douchebags/******** whom the girls seem to be very fond of.

I'm not saying to turn into one of those guys. Hell, I'd never want to be like them. But there are just certain things that attract women.



Exactly.

But i also think that there's nothing wrong with plastic surgery. Seriously, if you'll feel better after it then why not?
If you can't accept what you look like and you find beauty important then no selfconfidence books or advices won't change you the other way.
 
Another story, it's about this beautiful girl.

I met this girl at Craig's list (one of my coworkers put an AD for me). 5 month's ago I was into her. I kept texting her and asking her for just a meet up, but somehow she always declines. However, I was able to see her when I go to this country club. Everytime, I text her, she always responsive but when I try to be assertive she will never text me back. So, I figured it out that it was a waste of time for me and she was just a friendly person. She's always with a different guy every time I see her (old men). So I stopped communicating with her for 5 months.


Recently I was rejected by another girl. So I decided to text her if I can be her friend. Guess what, she said "For friends, I'm always up for that". When I text her, "what are you doing tonight"? Everytime she says "I'm going out tonight to sing Karaoke and dance", I always go to that club to hang out for like an hour or two. I'm still attracted to her but she has a man. Her man is way older than her. This man looks like 35 and she's only 24 years old. I try to show I don't care for her because I accepted the "Friendship". By the way, I wore a tight shirt in that night to show my body. It hurts me that she has a man and I always see this guy with her. However, something has changed me. When I left the club and got into my car, "I was like "I wanna get more pain! "Let this pain change me" I was playing metal music when I got out of the club. Boy, it felt good and bad at the same time. So far, everytime she goes to the club I will only hangout with her for like an hour. I'm not good at country dancing. Her man is good at it. I tell myself, it is good to learn, but I will never try to impress her. If she has no interest in me because I can't dance, I'm no good looking white boy. Let it be. But who knows......I'm still hanging out with her. She's a woman, she can choose her man. But the pain continues.

Here's our comm.
Her. "I'm going to dinner with my Dad and Russ. After, that I'm going out tonight with Russ and friends."
Me. Ok, I'll try to dress like a country boy, so I won't be the only metro
Her. I will see you there.

I came to that club with a tight shirt, and faded jeans. Showing my guns. LOL

Anyway, the pain continues as the rejection continues. However, I will still fight till my heart gives up.

Can someone tell me about people who die because of broken hearts? What is the body chemistry, hormonal changes, and flow when people have broken hearts?
If there is a huge percentage of people who die because of a broken heart, I wonder how much am I gonna last?
 
Get Down! said:
Exactly.

But i also think that there's nothing wrong with plastic surgery. Seriously, if you'll feel better after it then why not?
If you can't accept what you look like and you find beauty important then no selfconfidence books or advices won't change you the other way.

I don't know. To me, plastic surgery is for people who were in accidents or born with some sort of deformity. My opinion is that Zorensus needs to first fix himself from within in order to do well with girls.

Granted, I don't know what he looks like, but it probably has more to do with his perception than how he actually looks. My guess is that he's just blaming his failure to date girls on his looks when he's probably just doing other things wrong.

He can do it if he wants, but as another member said, I think it's a dangerous path he's choosing. Anyway, that's just my two cents.
 
Hadrurus said:
Granted, I don't know what he looks like, but it probably has more to do with his perception than how he actually looks. My guess is that he's just blaming his failure to date girls on his looks when he's probably just doing other things wrong.
yes that's a good guess actually. I generally like how you think.

But the main problem (even if it's only in his head) remains his looks. Hell i have no idea what's it like.. the surgery dilemma and such. I'm positive he went through pros and cons in his head at least million times. It's not an every day decision that's why i would hate to discourage him out of the idea.
Because we're still only forum folk. I realise that I dont know him and I have no idea how he feels.
The closest thing that i've ever experienced was changing my hair color and style after a bad break up. It's all about the new beginning and if the surgery can grant him one then so be it :)


And you, Zorensus.. you caaaan't text a girl and ask her to be her friend :D I mean.. would you text a normal guy and ask him that?
It's way too obvious that you wan't something more from her. And here again you sound desperate.

but that's just my thinking. still don't want to sound too cocky.
 

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