ExistentiallyBlasé
New member
- Joined
- Oct 3, 2009
- Messages
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I used to come to this forum under a different name, then I left and did stuff in my life, like getting married and moving to Brasil. Now I am living here... and... well, I am young, 22 years old, I have a good wife, I am smart, and her family takes care of me. I also work at a nice school teaching english and have made a few nice friends here where I work.
But, I am completely bored. I am so bored I want to kill myself. Everything is so totally pointless and meaningless. Everything I used to enjoy now no longer holds any kind of entertainment value. People are predictable, and talk about all of the same honeysuckle all the time. Life is repetetive and nothing is new under the sun. Everything we do is absurd and pointless, and nothing is new. I am so sick of it. The worst part of it all though, is that I want relief. Some stupid part of me wants to continue living in the hope that this will cure itself, or I will find some answer. But this is foolish, it's the survival mechanism in my brain trying to invent some bullshit excuse to keep me from offing myself.
Please, someone here give me something to think about.
Fair warning though, it better not be some stupid cliche bullshit such as:
1) You'll go to hell. (There is no such thing, grow up.)
2) You're just depressed and you're not thinking clearly. (We are all depressed all the time, despair is a normal state of being, and I am thinking *quite* clearly.)
3) Other spiritual pseudo-intellectual bullshit.
I need a reason. Something. I know life is meaningless and that in its current state, the world has nothing new to offer me. Nothing will change this. I spend hours every day fantasizing about the world ending or a post apocolyptic world coming about and driving around like Mad-Max acting primal and savage... Something like this.
And no I'm not emo.
...
But, I am completely bored. I am so bored I want to kill myself. Everything is so totally pointless and meaningless. Everything I used to enjoy now no longer holds any kind of entertainment value. People are predictable, and talk about all of the same honeysuckle all the time. Life is repetetive and nothing is new under the sun. Everything we do is absurd and pointless, and nothing is new. I am so sick of it. The worst part of it all though, is that I want relief. Some stupid part of me wants to continue living in the hope that this will cure itself, or I will find some answer. But this is foolish, it's the survival mechanism in my brain trying to invent some bullshit excuse to keep me from offing myself.
Please, someone here give me something to think about.
Fair warning though, it better not be some stupid cliche bullshit such as:
1) You'll go to hell. (There is no such thing, grow up.)
2) You're just depressed and you're not thinking clearly. (We are all depressed all the time, despair is a normal state of being, and I am thinking *quite* clearly.)
3) Other spiritual pseudo-intellectual bullshit.
I need a reason. Something. I know life is meaningless and that in its current state, the world has nothing new to offer me. Nothing will change this. I spend hours every day fantasizing about the world ending or a post apocolyptic world coming about and driving around like Mad-Max acting primal and savage... Something like this.
And no I'm not emo.
...