I don't like to meet real people, but yet I feel so miserable to be alone

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white lycoris

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I don't like to meet or socialize with real people. Real people are fearsome: their faces are smiling but it could that all those smiles are lies. And people would be so horrible when they laugh at you for some reason that you even don't know. They can hate you just by one the look without looking further and leave you just like that. I'd prefer to live alone in the jungle or somewhere but sometimes I feel so lonely that I need someone to hear me or tell about anything to me just to make me feel that I do exist as a person in this world.

I can't express my self freely around people. In reality, I'm confined by my own self. I'm afraid that people would hate me whatever I'd say, so I often prefer not to say anything. I'm tired of it but I don't know how to overcome that kind of fear. :(

I'm free from my 'shell' in this forum as no one knows who I really am so I don't need to be afraid to say what I want to say or to share my opinion. Hopefully...I do really really hope...that someday I'll change...living in fear is tiring.....I don't want it.

Hopefully by joining this forum I can train my self to express my opinion freely...so...how do you do?:) It's nice to meet you :D

and I'm sorry if there's mistakes in my English since I come from a country where English is not the main language :shy:
 
hey white lycoris i understand what you mean, i really detest people

they're loud obnoxious misleading and full of germs

alas but still my psyche craves for social interaction it's hard, and scary,


but confidence is very much just fake it till you make it,

just don't think too much about it, people come and people go, we think people will judge us really harshly if we fail a social interaction with them, but they've got their own lives and they'll soon forget about it,

so just act confident and soon you'll feel confident, like swimming sometimes you just gotta jump into the deep end

and you do exist i can see your writing and hear your words :)

*hugs*

ps your english is very good i didn't even think i t wasn't your native language till you sated it,

what is your natural language?
 
Welcome, White Lycoris! :)

Y'know, to a certain extent, I can relate to your post. There are times when I really can't handle meeting people coz some are just not genuine in their friendship or interaction with you. You can't help that nagging feeling at the back of your mind, wondering are they really saying what they're saying honestly or was there sarcasm hidden behind that? Did they compliment me but meant that as a snide remark just to make fun of me?

There are stages when I keep to myself simply because the less I say, the less people will hold against me but then I get feedback that I'm being too 'closed-up' and if I wanna climb the corporate ladder, I gotta be more 'open' and come out from under my shell. Syesssh *rolls eyes*

Anyway, I know you'll find the support you need coz this forum has some really nice folks who can not only relate to what you're going through, but may be able to help guide you out of the dark and lonely road that you're on. I hope you find your way :) Don't worry...I'm just as lost as you are but the first step to getting out of this rut is to be brave enough to try. Good luck and welcome! :)
 
i know exactly what you mean. socializing is like having to eat spinach, or whatever veggie you dont like. that's how i feel about it. i do it because its good for me, but i dont like it.
 
Welcome to the forum
 
heretostay said:
i know exactly what you mean. socializing is like having to eat spinach, or whatever veggie you dont like. that's how i feel about it. i do it because its good for me, but i dont like it.

Hey, I like spinach! :D

the less I say, the less people will hold against me

A sentiment I should hold too more often, as I tend more towards, the more insecure I am about myself, the more rubbish I will ramble, until I become an infuriating aggravation.

In any case, welcome to the forum.
 

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