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My family hates me...that one relative turned them against me...
05-14-2010, 11:29 AM
Post: #1
My family hates me...that one relative turned them against me...
I just...don't even know why I go on...

All along I deluded myself into believing that my family loved me for me.
But they love me out of obligation.

Their love is conditional...
I recall being told when I was young, that I was brought into this world so that I could financially support them in old age...
That it is my purpose as the eldest and the "smart" one out of my siblings...

The one relative.
The one that's closest to me.
Somehow turned the rest of my family against me.
Why do they believe her over me?
They KNOW her mouth spews up garbage, but they choose to listen to her and not me...
Why doesn't anyone listen to me?

My family constantly reminds me of how miserable I am...
How sensitive I am...
How too fragile for the world I am...
And I agree...
Because if I wasn't, I wouldn't care for their love...

They scold me from wanting to seek help from my doctor...
Saying that I'm bringing shame to the family...
That it's better to hide my problems and not lose face...

I don't know...
I'm in so much pain right now, but I don't know...
I wish I had a place to run to or someone to run to...
I want to run but I don't know where to go...

She doesn't even care about the pain she's caused me...
She's done it over and over again...
Laughs at me and calls me weak...
Some of the other family members, when I try to apologize and make things work, they'll ignore me because they want to upset me...
They've admitted to being emotionally manipulative...
I'll distance myself, and then be accused of being uncaring...
Which isn't true, so I run back...
And beg for their forgiveness...
And then the cycle repeats.

Yes, they have clothed me and fed me...
But all I am is an investment...
They put money into me, and expect that I put money back into them...

The only person that has shown me genuine love is my dad, but he died years ago...
He saved money for me to go to school, but I'll never see it...
I love my brothers, but they too are struggling...
I wish I could take them with me...
They are 17 and 13, but they have depression...
Sometimes I'm so blinded with my own problems, that I can't see theirs...
I don't live with them; each of us all live in separate homes because our family is constantly fighting...
They're selfish and manipulative...
The women in my family force us to take sides, and pit us against one another...

From an outsiders view, we look like a normal, healthy family...
Nice houses, friendly, stable respectable jobs, all married and no divorces, traditional...
But the women in my family are emotionally abusive...
I don't understand why the men in my family married them...
Why...
My father would come home, and the moment he stepped in the house, my mother would scream at him...
He would then lock himself in the bedroom, while she screamed the whole night and he would have to work the midnight shift again the day after...

I'm starting to see my family for what they are...
I've never talked about this side of them...
I just pretend it's okay...
We're fine and well...

But I don't know...
My first instinct is to run...
Run far, far away and never look back...
I love my brothers, but I want to move...
Just pack my bags and go...

If only I had the money...
I'm just waiting...


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05-14-2010, 12:43 PM
Post: #2
RE: My family hates me...that one relative turned them against me...
*hugs Luna*

wow ya your family has issues
if it's really bad have you talk to any consulars at your school?
Or any social welfare? I don't know if it would be good, but would it be a better alternative?

do you have any friends that would let stay at their place for a while?

I would do libraries and bookstores till they close

or heck

hide in the bathroom when they close then if you can come back out later

if you get caught maybe just say i'm sorry i fell asleep in one of your big comfy chairs which they often have

probably don't run away because that would be hard, just spend as little amount of time at home as you can. If You're mother asks where you were at say you were out studying or with a friend

will you be able to move away for college? could you get a job at all?

this would let eat out giving you less time with your family

is there anyone you can talk to on your dad's side of the family?

Also keep this in perspective your family does not hate you and they love you, they are just not quite emotionally fit, they want to help you and make you happy, but they have many problems internal and external, that they obviously can't cope with so they take it out on you.

But they are people and have feelings too, they feel misery and guilt

I'm sure they feel bad about the way they treat you, but they can't stop

i hope some of this helps

*hugs*

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Miles to go, Little Miss Muffet counting down from 730
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05-14-2010, 07:14 PM (This post was last modified: 05-14-2010 08:02 PM by stella.)
Post: #3
RE: My family hates me...that one relative turned them against me...
jee wizz, the similaries with your post luna and my own personal experiences with my family from the age of 13 to 21 is insane. i was constantly trodden on, made a scapegoat for everything. if something went wrong, it was my fault. i would be shouted at over the most ridiculous things, when i was suffering deeply with depression. they knew i was struggling, but for some reason it gave my family satisfaction to kick me and kick me when i was already down. i was told i had ruined my family name, that i should have been aborted, i was a failure and a disgrace.i run out of energy to defend myself from them and resorted to cutting myself with blades just to get the frustration and anger out, but also to punish myself, i came to the conclusion that for so many people to be against me that i must be an awful person. in the end their bullying it drove me to suicide. but still they didn't stop.

lying in the hospital bed i had my moment of clarity, my life could not go on with the staus quo. i discharged myself, went home slept. next day i packed my bags and left. i have had minimal contact with them ever since. best thing i ever did. i came to realise that it is impossible to reason with stupidity, and that i was unable to ever change the way they thought about me. not saying my life has been brilliant since i broke contact, but it is a 1000 times better than it was when i was in their whirlpool of abuse and violence.
ps luna if you want to vent at someone about this, please please feel free to pm me anytime. not saying i know all the answers but i will listen to you and help you to the best of my abilities. keep strong one day it will all be over and life will be better.

When you're looking at life,
In a strange new room,
Maybe drowning soon,
Is this the start of it all?
Turn on your TV,
Turn down your pulse,
Turn away from it all,
It's all getting too much.

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05-15-2010, 12:31 AM
Post: #4
RE: My family hates me...that one relative turned them against me...
(05-14-2010 11:29 AM)Luna Wrote:  Yes, they have clothed me and fed me...
But all I am is an investment...
They put money into me, and expect that I put money back into them...

.. The only person that has shown me genuine love is my dad, but he died years ago...

That happened to me also, my father was a victim of them.. and they are looking for another victim to punish 'till death.

Like stella did, I've turned my back on them.. If I see them on the street I'd say hello and that's it. They may share the same blood with me, but they don't share the same mindset obviously. They may be family but they're not my friends. fuck 'em.

You gotta realise that by the end of the day you're on your own. They dont care about you. I have friends that lost thier families in accidents and stuff, and i kinda say the same to them. Maybe it's too radical.. but whatever. I'm better off this way!

Hang in there Sad

Take a look around
Don't you see it
See that you are the only real face in the room
No one here has a clue what your feelin'
Don't feel bad,
Keep your sadness alive.
[Image: Good_Charlotte_Good_Charlotte.jpg]
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05-18-2010, 05:58 PM
Post: #5
RE: My family hates me...that one relative turned them against me...
Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetheart. Sad (Forgive me if you're one of those people who don't like terms of endearment like that; some people get very uptight. No offense intended.) My boyfriend's family is so very much like that. Verbally abusive to a terrible degree, and even spreading that nastiness about people they don't even know, so now his family hates me for no reason.

It doesn't make sense when people are cruel. Something I learned in life is that just because people treat you badly, it doesn't mean you deserve their crap. It says volumes more about them than you. From your post, you seem like a sweet and wonderful person. Don't let them crush what's beautiful in you. It may be hard, but it will probably be best to break away from them however you're able. Take care of yourself, then come back to help your brothers. Like they say on an airplane, if there's an emergency and the oxygen masks drop, put yours on first before assisting others. You can't help anyone if you pass out.

*Hug.* I know sometimes it helps just to have someone listen and care. If you ever want to talk, I'm here (even if I'm new to the forum and don't quite know how everything works yet!).
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05-18-2010, 08:40 PM
Post: #6
RE: My family hates me...that one relative turned them against me...
I cant believe anyone would say those things to their daughter. Sad

No wonder you want to move far away...
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06-30-2011, 06:25 PM
Post: #7
RE: My family hates me...that one relative turned them against me...
I know exactly how you feel. Exactly. I was just a little kid when my brother in law ruined my life and my families. My sister never believed me and to this day is still trying to clear him of his sentence and all the whille she one by one is turning my family who i never see now because of her, agaisnt me. She convinced everyone to try and ask me to say that it was all a lie, a stupid lie that i had told because i was mad at them. What makes it worse is that the children are suffering the most and they are the sole reason why i had confessed. I ran away, tried to shut them out, but they always seemed to come back. Counselors dont really help because they really dont know how you feel but talking about it to anyone and crying your heart out vents all the feeling and emotions that we have kept inside for so long. My sister may still hate me but i love her like it was yesterday. My family may look at me with the lies and hate within thier eyes but i still love them with all my heart do i love them.

But Truth be told i dont care whether me believe me or not. The lord and i know the truth and that will always be enough. and niether should you. In times like these people show thier true colors to those around them. Dont let them win. They may beat you down, make you cry, break your heart, but hold your head up and dont lose faith, especially in yourself. Not many people have the gall and guts to tell those they love that another hurt them in such a way. Prove them wrong. Show them that you dont need them. That you can make it through this life with all the hardships that youve gone through and be sucuessful and happy. Along the way there will be people who really care, really love you and wont manipulate you and most of all believe you and love you knowing what they know. it's all about waiting because once they find you and enter your life, the wait will be worth it. We may all be alone, but in that since we are all together in this.

I am still living the nightmare with my family just like you are but i have my friends and my ambitions driving me on. Thats the key a purpose. find a purpose work for it with everything you have. because then everything else the pain, the horrible people will dissapear in comparison to your dreams. Because of my friends and dreams ive never been happier in my life. those poeple who dont believe us be damned. unfortunate events like these that occur in our lives shape us into the people were meant to be its how we look at them that matters. They may seem like a curse but i take it as a blessing. if it never happened to me i wouldve never seen my families true nature and i wouldve never met my best friends.

you are not alone. the pain is only relative in comparison to the happiness you will experience.

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Matthew 5:3-12
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