I was reading a thread here about how good looking, happy people are disagreeable to many people here and one of the comments really jumped out at me. One person posted that there was some kind of study where people were showed pictures of other people and those that were more attractive looking were percieved as more inteligent. Now, I think that's nonesense about them actually being more inteligent (case in point: Paris Hilton!), but I'm willing to bet that good looking, or otherwise more socially integrated people are more successful than us loners.

As a matter of fact, I think lonely people are more intelligent, or at the very least far more interesting and unique, than other kinds of people, however that in no way translates into success. Penn and Teller's show on Showtime did a show about how college is bullshit. I agree whole heartedly! But they said that you don't actually learn anything new in college, but rather it's a place to get what you've learned notarized, so to speak. While that may be true, I think college does do one thing in particular to lay the foundations of "sucess:" namely, it's a place to build up social capital.

There's a wikipedia article on social capital (where do you think I heard about it from? God! Isn't wikipedia just the greatest thing ever?) which is worth checking out. Social capital, in a nutshell, is another way of saying "it's who you know", "building contacts", or as I prefer to call it, chronyism!

The ability to socialize--enviable in itself, considering that I'm completly freindless--does seem to have economic importance. The more friends you have, translates into more knowledge of potential job opportunities for starters. Also, the ability to rub elbows with some important people obviously has its perks.

So now I'm starting to get a bit worried here. I'm getting really great grades in college, but I haven't made a single friend or even hung out with anybody from school in the 3 years I've been here. Just how big of a hamper do you think social ineptitude can be with regards to jobs, and such? I'm sure you've seen movies where the awkward little genius gets stuck in the basement doing all the work, while his boss takes credit all the credit.

I find this concept truly repugnat! I feel rotten enough being completly isolated without a social life! And really, since I've been this way for so long, I've come to regard socializing as something quite tacky and superficial. I just want to hear some of your thoughts on any of this.

Thats a really interesting thought

and yes wikipedia is the awesomist, I skimmed the article.

That probably has some truth to it.

which sucks,

but I guess it's a good idea just try to be nice a new person that you meet in case later on you need their help, of course I 'm very friendly and try really hard to be nice, I loan people money without asking for it back alot and I give people rides without asking for gas money a lot.

But are they just using me, and they won't remeber the deeds I've done for them. Because that's how I feel a lot and it sucks how I can relate to others taking credit for anouthers work.

That's a good post and welcome to forum

Well to be honest I think your grades are way more important than social capital...in most cases that is.
The people offering you jobs as a graduate aren't the same people that you went to school with. And yea they may be connected...but even without connections the people who top their university classes get decent jobs..

Also I know very popular people who didnt study their books, and who are catching their tails now. Popularity is something that can fade very easily...is a good thing..cause you will always have some contacts through having been popular but in essence if you don't enjoy being soo social then chances are being popular just for a short while (which will be that case once your intent is simply to make contacts) will produce the same effect as just being likable, or nice to the people interviewing you.

Cause people aren't going to bend over backwards to get you a job unless you maintain a relationship with them or you reallly meant something to them. So I guess my thoughts are that there is no need to worry about being popular.

I will say that popular people(or rather people with friends) would be the most 'successful' though, but it isn't because of their contacts (in the main) ..it's cause they are able to create a support system which is efficient, their environment is not a depressed one. Even when thinds go wrong ..like break-ups e.t.c ....they can easily distract themselves with new poeple and they can move on...

Very good points... I agree with this one and have thought on it often... another thing is that lonely people tend to be more insightful, thoughtful, and sensitive in general I have found... as far as successes, a large number of acclaimed artists (taking in all intellectual forms of art from literature to painting) have been loners to some degree. Unfortunately though, more often than not, "success" as far as widespread knowledge and appreciation of ones work, tends to be achieved postmortem. Just a thought.

I swear by wikipedia! Ah, good old cronyism.. yes I've been victim of this injustice time and time again... "It's who you know, not what you know." I grew up in a tiny island where there is a very well known and unavoidable monopoly on all business, including government jobs, by families first and friends second. I had to leave, because it was impossible to get into a job of any worth without either marrying into a family involved in the business of my interest, or else by becoming very good friends with said family. It is a brutal reality where I grew up, that is why at least 90% of the high school graduates leave for other parts of the world, myself included. The place is just too small, and everything is run by families that only take on those in their families first, and throw what rotten jobs are left to the rest, no matter your qualifications... I ended up working a stupid job where I was way over-qualified and had to spend my days fixing all the mistakes my insubordinate and uneducated coworkers created. One day I got furious... told my boss to go to hell, went home packed my things, and moved away within two weeks of quitting to a better job in a better place. Not four months later the business I had just quit went bankrupt... that was the second one I had been involved in that went bankrupt shortly after I left... I know it's just coincidence, but sometimes I wonder if without a real worker there to pull everything together, the companies didn't just implode on their lazy, and unqualified workers... I've had a couple jobs where my coworkers have had the audacity to actually tell me to slow down or do less because it makes them look bad! Imbeciles! Grrr... don't get me started on cronyism... it's a big load of counter-productive bull. Bah, sorry, that's my rant for the day... I hate lazy workers. When I'm at work, I am there to work... not dodge work or spend my time chatting or doing anything other than work. I have my days where I'm not as productive as usual, but I can still manage to take care of the essentials at least. grrr.

Ok, there is some concern you should have... because there's tons of business majors out there that are trained to take the credit from those that deserve it in order to succeed and advance. It's called task delegation and management. I have to admit that being more socially adept and well networked undoubtedly has it's professional advantages. However, being a good worker and being able to excel in your work ethic can often over-ride even social ineptitude... this has been my case at least. Any job I have done, I have been recognized for my devotion to working. I rarely take breaks unless necessary, I don't waste time socializing at work, I'm willing to get overtime hours, I'll work holidays, I am a fast learner, I can teach or instruct others quickly and efficiently, etc.... so I make up for what I lack in social or interpersonal skills... the only downside to this is you must also remain on guard at all times and always skeptical of your superiors... a number of times I have been praised, promised promotions, ensured pay increases or bonuses, and when the time came it was all a bunch of lies. They will also try to push you further and further... I had one company I was a supervisor in try to get me to pull a 12 hour shift, take four hours off, then come back in for another 12 hour shift. I left my uniform folded neatly on a desk in the back office to leave no doubt about my intent, and never returned any of their calls. Pricks. I'd even saved one of their contracts, because I happened to write well detailed reports over five months that always stated that a certain employee from a certain company constantly leaving a door open to the building that was robbed, covering our companies ass... bah another one that gets me ranting... they shut down that branch of the company three months later. The guy running the whole show was a spoiled brat who's mom was in charge of the only other Canadian branch... they screwed over everyone in the company before going under bastards. But don't let my jaded views influence you too much man... I seem to have the worst possible luck with employers :-/ It's taught me alot, made me a more shrewd, knowledgeable, and calculating business man, but sometimes I wish I could've just had the easier path.

Sorry I've ranted a bit much, but those are my thoughts although not very clear, concise or condensed.

I guess the moral is: You can certainly find a good measure of success (I am now in an excellent career as far as achievable wealth and guaranteed advancement opportunities, later on and with some dedication, there is even possibility for world travel and unparalleled financial successes) but this came with some effort on my part, and still has many risks involved. Also, without the aid of social graces and networking, I find the advancements and opportunities are more difficult to obtain, and must be earned... never just given due to my being friendly, pleasant, or persuasive with a superior. You will need to work for your wealth and success more than the socially adept... but in the end, you will be stronger in your knowledge and surer in your success.

This post was last modified: 12-31-2007 12:57 PM by Lost in the Oilfield.

Very big, it's basically impossible to find a job the "standard way" here (ie, newspapers, agencies). You need acquaintances, and I have none, so I can't get a job. I can't even get hired at a supermarket. =_=

I think that social skill shows a levelling and diminishing effect like all other things. Right now, if you have a great scarity of it, you'll find things incredibly difficult, but if you just improve it a little bit - for example, not freezing up and being able to overcome the physical effects of social fear, you'll find your horizons widening massively.

Essentially, going from someone who is able to talk to zero people to someone who'll be able to talk to one person at a time is going to help you a lot more in life than going from someone who can talk to three people at a time to someone who can talk five people at a time.

So while truly social people do have the upper hand, its one that isn't that hard to catch up reasonably to.