Please help me... I can't take it anymore... I am not a bad person... Why am I being punished? My husband is being so mean to me right now... I need help... I am doing the best I can.... He is being so mean to me... Please help me... I want to die... I want to die... I can't take this... Please make him stop... I need someone to love me and hold me... Please tell him to stop.. I want to die. I'm not a bad person.. I don't deserve this... Please.... I can't stop crying..

Hi honey,

Please don't say that. I don't think you really want to die, do you? I hope that you really just want him to stop being cruel. Remember your kids need you so bad. Please PM me and give me your phone number if you need someone to listen, I'm here for you.

I believe that you are NOT a bad person!!! It's NOT your fault that someone is playing cruel emotional games with you. You do NOT deserve to be mistreated. You are a strong brave woman and you will make it through this, so you can be a good example for your kids.

PM me, I'm here for you. It's 11:17 pm Eastern Time.

Hugs,

LG>

Damn, I'm sorry! Your right dear you don't deserve this, but unfournatly we sometimes have to endure pain/hardships that we don't deserve. I think about everyone here can attest to that, Lonelygirl can proably identify with you, she is a real sweetheart and I'm sure she would talk to you. All I can say is I too have been through alot, my father commited suicide and for along time I really, really thought about it, but it has passed, I have learned not to 'expect' things there are things I feel I deserve to be loved etc..and I though God would help me but he hasn't at least not yet(maybe he never will) but I have learned to fight life back, i approach it with a 'warrior' mentality, perhaps you could try that, or if that approach dosn't work, talk to other members here find out what has worked/helped them.

I care! and so do other's here!

Hi Kazman,

Thank you for the kind words. I hope Searching 4 Soul Mate comes back and keeps posting here and IMs one of us. She is a very nice person who is going through a rough time in her relationship.

Hi lonely girl and kaz.. It is morning now and I survived the night.. I'm still crying though. Thank you both for your kind words and support. It's amazing how strangers seem to care more about me and support me more than the one person who is suppose to. Lonelygirl -I will PM you later. I have to go to work now.

Talk later.

We understand what your going through, we have felt the pain you feel. I truly wish I could do more for you, if you ever need to talk you can Im me or Lonelygirl (I shouldn't speak for her, but I know she is a sweet person and would help however she could.)

Hi Searching,

Yes, please PM me when you get a moment. I'm glad you made it through a lonely, rough night. It's tough in relationships.

I am sure the person you are with does care, but if that person is also angry or emotionally abusive to you, it doesn't matter how much they care--they are hurting you. You must stand up for your rights. If not for yourself, for your children. They need a mama who isn't in emotional pain all the time.

Big hugs,

LG.

I'm sorry... I know the feeling. *hugs*

Aww! *hugs*
Wow, that is one of my fears. Finding a mate and he'd end up being totally cruel and violent to me. Well, I hope things get better. It must be very hard.

Thank you all for listening... He is not physically abusive... it is his words that hurt. I have been going through some adjustments in life the last couple of weeks.. I just got a full time intership after having only worked part time for the last 5 years. I am a full time student and the mother of 4.. I started this internship in a new industry of which I'm not familiar with. I am stressed out enough about that. Then there is the whole juggling the kids and baby-sitters... The woman who was to watch my kids informed me only after day 2 that it is too much for her to watch them all the time. I had another woman who was going to watch them on Tuesday's to give my other sitter a break.. She called me the day before she was suppose to sit and cancelled on me. My Mom would have helped out but she just got a new job. In addition to all of this - I'm freaking out because I'm trying to do good in school, take care of my kids and house - trying to be a good wife - trying to adjust with the new job - plus I'm still working 1 night a week at the hotel.. All of this - with now even less time to dedicate to it..

Life is hard for many of us... But it isn't impossible to survive it if you have friends and family to help you through the tough times. ("TOUGH TIMES NEVER LAST BUT TOUGH PEOPLE DO") Not only did I not get Eric's support - he added to the pressure by giving me a hard time about everything. Last night I had to sit here and take his verbal attack on me. I had to sit there and listen to him talk about how I don't do this and I don't do that. I'm immature - I don't act like an adult towards the kids... I don't keep the house clean.. Then he said I keep the guinea pig cage cleaner than I do the rest of the house. I thought that cleaning their cage was part of keeping the house clean. He has been doing laundry the last couple of months... I really appreciate it and I thought he was doing it to help out and that we were a team. It turns out that he is only doing it so he can say "Oh look.. I have to do laundry because Stacy won't!" and then his family all chime in "Oh Eric! You are so wonderful! That terrible Stacy doesn't deserve someone as nice as you!" I am struggling to stay on top of things... My house has clutter - which I thought was to be expected for someone with 4 kids - but it is clean. Then he complained about me working - and 2 minutes later complained how he was broke because of having to support me and my kids and I don't contribute financially. He told me how I have changed and how hateful I've become. He said I hate his family.. Well, those of you that have read other post from me will understand why I feel that way. His family started it. I've tried to reach out and get my hands slapped by them.. yet he blames me. He was calling me an asshole last night. I was crying and he started to mock my crying. We aren't actually married - but I did have an engagement ring he gave me. He took it off of me last night. He talked about what a terrible mother I am. I understand that couples fight. But people don't get this cruel or throw people out of the house for stupid shit... He has 2 ex wives that divorced him. I guess they both cheated on him. I never cheated on him. I go to work, school, my kid's functions and home. I could see being treated like this if I cheated on him or went out all night long. I am sacraficing to get a college degree and trying to better myself so that I can improve our lives. Someone told me that he is a martar. He loves to be the victim. He started drinking again and last night told me it was my fault because I told him that his non-drinking wouldn't last. Well, I look at things in more of a sceintific way - it is rare that a person can quit drinking forever... Especially someone who will not go to AA meetings or counciling for support. Last night it was like he was trying to find any little thing he could to put me down. I keep telling him that I am doing the best I can and I have tried harder - but I can't seem to accomplish everything. He was blasting me because he feels that I am using excuses when I say I'm doing the best I can. I used to be a straight A student in college - now I am getting more B's - and now it is getting harder for me to maintain B's. I'm terrified constantly that I may not get around to doing something and that he will dump me for not being perfect. I am afraid to clean the guinea pig cage or study because he will bitch at me for that.

By the way, kaz... Eric's Father committed scuicide as well. To make it worse - his father blew his own head off with a gun and Eric is the one who found him. It happened probably close to 30 years ago - but Eric never sought help. Maybe it is an unresolved issue that he has and he is taking it out on me. I don't know. Kaz, how has your Father's death affected you? (If you don't mind me asking.)

Broken Dreams - I hope you don't get hooked up with an asshole, either. It sucks because you can't always tell that this is the way it is going to end up. Eric and I used to have the most beautiful relationship that anyone could ever have... And it got so terribly ugly. It hurts so badly to be rejected constantly and then to be blamed for it all. It hurts to be put down for not being perfect. His ex wife treated him like dirt and cheated on him and used him for money - but yet he treated her like a queen. I love him so much. I used to live in a brand new house - and I gave it all up to be with him.. Yes - Eric does do a lot for me. He will bring me breakfast in bed when I work the midnight shift... He will give me money when I need it and will do anything I ask for - except for be my friend. I wouldn't give a shit about the "things" he does or money - if only I could have his friendship. I almost feel he does these things for me just so he can tell everyone about what he does for me and point out what I don't do for him.

Thank you all so much for listening. I hope that I will have the chance to help one of you...