June 27, 2008
Hello all. I am about to tell my story. It'll take me some time, and there are so many little details that need to be told, that I will probably post some things out of order simply because I won't remember everything in sequence. But I feel that maybe my story can help someone. So here I go.

I met my ex girlfriend on Saint Valentines Day 2006. Odd huh? Well, it seemed fitting then. I was smitten, almost at first sight.

That day was (and still is) particularly depressing for me. When I was a kid up until I was in 10th grade I went to a school where it was a custom to buy balloons and candy for your valentine. I rarely had the nerve to do anything like that back then. Nobody gave me anything either. And the most embarrassing thing was that the people in charge of giving out the candy and the balloons would interrupt us in the middle of class and call out the names of those recieving. Usually about 15-17 out of the 20 or so students would recieve candy or balloons. I never got any.
Fast forward to 12th grade. Here I am in St. Valentines Day, of my graduation year. I hadn't had a girlfriend. Ever. But I was in a new school, so I felt like I had a chance. So I bought wrapped candy and gave it to this girl I liked who was two years younger than I was. She just kind of smiled, but I knew it wasn't going anywhere. Especially when you consider the only thing I did to her was annoy her to get her attention. She didn't like it too much I guess .
But it was all cool. I gave someone something, and I didn't feel as bad as I had felt on other St. Valentine's. So I just go downstairs, where there was this group of 11th graders talking. I knew most of them (not friends but I knew who they were), but not the one black haired girl.
So I started talking to the ones I knew. Then I ended up talking to the girl. She was new, and had moved from Florida just that January. She struck me as nice, so we had a conversation. That was how I met my ex.
She was thin and fair skinned, with black hair and green eyes. Just perfect, I thought to myself. If only I had known...

I have a habit of falling too deep when I fall in love. When I fall in love, I really, REALLY fall in love. I mean it. And sometimes that's bad, especially if the other person is not in love. Which is where one of my ex's girlfriends come into the picture.
Before meeting my ex, I fell in love with a girl which would eventually become one of my ex's closest friends. I tried to talk to her alot which didn't seem to do much. I didn't go out with her because at that time I literally never went out. So it was Christmas, and I bought her a present. When school resumed, I gave it to her, thinking it would impress her. Instead... about a week later, I see her french kissing with another guy. So ok, fine. I'm cool with it. I just swallowed my pride and went on with life. But I've always been suspicious of that girl... sometimes it seemed she would talk to my ex about me and presumably why she didn't like me, and that couldn't have been good for our relationship. Call me paranoid, but I really didn't like it. It got to the point where I could feel it in the air, that my ex's friends weren't my friends at all, they were enemies. It's one thing to go through rough times with a girlfriend; it's even worse to have all her friends seemingly tell her I wasn't worth it. It's the loneliest feeling in the world.

Ye that girl don't sound to caring I have to say. I mean it should had been obverse to her how much you liked her, specially since you burt her a present. She should have told you to your face and in privet that she was not interested if that's how she felt. If I had fallen for someone like that and sew then kissing another guy I to would be hurt to.

As far as the school doing that in class for the valentines day, Well that's just stupid and a insensitive thing to do. There are always boned to be kids that don't get any. That's just like rubbing salt into the wound.

June 28, 2008

After I met my ex, I realized I wanted to be with her alot. And I was in 12th grade, so it was my last chance in a way, to get a girlfriend. I thought (rightly so) that even though there are alot more girls in college it was going to be alot harder to get a girlfriend. So, I started spending more and more time with her.

We used to have snack break in that school, and most people would go buy hot dogs or cheeseburgers and talk. I only bought food if I was really hungry and most of the time I'd just sit in an empty classroom waiting for break to be over. But now I was smitten, I had to do something. I tagged around with her, just talking to her, and sometimes I even bought her food. We used to talk about almost anything, nothing too serious. I remember I asked her for her phone number and she gave it to me; one day she didn't come and I called. Her grandmother (gasp!) answered, and trying not to stutter I introduced myself and asked for her. Turns out she had a headache that day and didn't go to school. So I wished her well and that day I felt kinda lonely and worried at the same time, but she was ok.

Everyday I used to come late to school because I hated school. That particular school I was in wasn't that bad but I just didn't like to study or sit in class. Well, after falling in love I was coming early. Funny how one changes when one likes another person. I mean, I wouldn't come till second period before, and now I'm getting to school so early that people are starting to notice. One day in particular I'm talking to her on msn messenger and she tells me she has to do a project for the next day. I realized it was the same one I had to do (even though she was in 11th grade and I was in 12th the math teacher had given us the same thing to do), so I tell her I'll help her with it. This must've been at like 5 pm or so. We were talking on the msn and doing the project until 5 am the next morning. She told me she was going to sleep, and after she left I napped a bit, then went to school. I couldn't wait to talk to her. LOL Turns out she didn't come that day either and she just had her sister turn in the project.

Sometimes during break, I used to wait for her by her locker so I could talk to her. I remember the day I really fell in love with her; the day I thought "this is it. This is the one." She had put her books in her locker and we were in a classroom talking when she starts talking about her childhood and her first experiences in school when she was little. She told me how, since she could speak Spanish, the teachers wanted to teach her English. Thing was, she already understood English but didn't want to speak it. So her teacher was trying to get her to say "apple" but everytime the teacher would say "apple" she'd say "manzana" which is Spanish for apple. I laughed a bit but for some reason that just melted me. It was the darndest thing I'd ever heard.

We actually started the relationship on one of the last days of Holy Week. I think it was Thursday or Friday. She wasn't even here, she was back in Florida because she wanted to see her mom and help out with moving. I sorely missed her and talked to her everyday on the messenger, as calling was expensive for her (so she said). I don't remember clearly how we got to the point, but we were talking about our friendship. And I wrote to her: "Well I can talk to you and know you and be your best friend. Or do you want more?"

Slight pause. I'm literally shaking on the other end. My head's about to lift up from my shoulders and go flying around the room. I had never asked a girl that.

Then came the reply: "I'd like that in the future. Yeah why not?"

The smile I had was so intense I must've been smiling for at least 5 hours straight.

I bought her a bracelet for when she came back, and gave it to her the next monday. Just wanted to let her know I was thinking about her alot. She rarely had it on... During all of six months I was with her she might've put it on maybe 4 times. Maybe she didn't like it. Maybe she didn't appreciate it, I don't know. It hurt some that she never put it on but oh well. I never paid it much attention, as I had plenty of other things to worry about while I was with her.

Hiya

Your story seems such a sad and lonely one. Your sound like such a warm and giving person. The only draw back is...like for many of us...you just may not have met the right person yet.

I can appreciate your comment about falling in love...I wear my heart on my sleeve...I fall slowly and when there is a response I get deeper and deeper...it is a failing I have I think...but one that I cannot change.

In love I have watched as I have been cheated on...traded in for friends and a new career...used for getting them out of debt by putting me in debt...and emotionally closed off.

Do we have to put ourselves through this? Yes I think we do. My second wife told me that she hoped I met someone else soon as I was no good on my own...probably the best thing she said to me...the irony is...she is happily engaged...I am barely hanging on to the relationship I have now.

Hello Dave,

I can relate to you in a way... But if I can offer you a piece of advice it would be this: Don't fall for just anyone, or the first person you meet who likes you. And be your own man, i.e. have your own likes and dislikes and never agree with a woman just to agree. Don't let them tread on you because that's the mistake I made. I put her on a pedestal from which she could put me down even further and make me feel worthless. And that's no way to have a relationship; I don't even think it IS a relationship. If she doesn't appreciate you for who you are and you have to keep acting a certain way because she likes it (like I had to) it's not worth your time.

After we got together, I thought I had to be superman for her. Being my first relationship I wasn't going to give anything less than 100%. And if there is one thing I am at peace about the whole thing, it is that I gave 100%.

It was already May and my birthday was coming up. So that day we went out to the movies. It was a pretty good day; we kissed, she gave me a present, and we saw the movie. As we are waiting for the lights to dim before the start of the movie I look her in the eyes and said "You know, I'm really, really in love with you."

She had to take the College Board soon. It's a daylong standardized test; I had already taken it and it made me want to puke. I had actually done well on the test and even got a letter saying I was in the top 100 scores for the tests taken in that particular six month period. So I tried to help her study for it; I wanted to be with her and help her out in whatever I could. The day she was going to take the test, I wanted to surprise her a bit.

I am loathe to get up early. I'm not an early bird by any stretch; but that Saturday I was up at 6:30 am to get ready to be at the test by 7:45. Since it started at 8 I knew I would have about 15 minutes to be with her and at least give her some support before she went in to take the test. I had to wake up my mother because at the time I had no license and couldn't drive. So we actually get there at about the same time my ex got there. I didn't have much time but I hugged her and wished her good luck in the test. She seemed mildly shocked that I would drive at that hour to a test I wasn't taking just to say "I love you and good luck." But that's the way I am.

After classes ended she had to buy the 12th grade books. The day the parents had the book fair I was there. I was going to college, so I just gave my books to her. She didn't have to buy many books that way. Her grandmother sure thanked me

Her birthday was in June. So I wanted to give her something she'd remember a long time. I had a basket with flowers prepared by a proffesional, but I wanted to make it original. So one day I'm in a Toy's R Us and I'm looking at Bratz dolls. I had noticed her bedcover was Bratz-themed and she had other Bratz stuff in her room so I figured she must like them. I finally found one that looked a bit like her, but I found another one that had a birthday shirt. So (with the help of my mom) I bought both, changed the birthday shirt to the one I wanted, and sat the doll on the birthday basket. So now it's got flowers and a Bratz doll. I had asked her what kind of candy she liked when we started talking so I knew what else to put. So I got a lot of Nerds (the loose kind and the string kind), lots of dark chocolate, and a few gummy bears. Finally I put the seventh season of South Park in there and was satisfied with how it looked. That was the birthday basket. I had the person give it to her on her birthday, before I got to her house.

Then when I came, I gave her another gift. It was a gold necklace with a red heart jewel; like I said, I wanted to give her something special that she would remember a long time. I'm guessing she was stunned. LOL Maybe it was too much.

This post was last modified: 06-30-2008 03:02 AM by Freakin_Amazin.

awwwwwwwww...what a sweetheart! Wow! Why can't all guys be like you?

I guess most of them had experiences like mine. It's not an excuse to be an asshole, but some guys think all women are the same and therefore they must be treated bad.

Personally if I found someone good I'd treat her well. If she proves to me that she's for real and that she really likes to be with me... well, then the sky's the limit to what I'm willing to do for her. All she has to do is honestly like me. Because there are some circumstances that tell me my ex didn't really like being with me and most of the time she was just pretending.

Ah! This is so interesting. I've literally been stuck to the computer for 20 min thinking about this saga.
So what happened?? You're undoubtedly a sweet guy. I wouldn't wake up for anything at 6:30.

Have you found it any easier to meet people in college? I was so antisocial in high school, but met people like crazy at dorms/parties because of the new freedom and the fact that everyone was tense about making friends. But you're right, there are lots of friendly, pretty girls in college and a lot of them are probably lonely too. Most people are. Try not to think too much about your ex! I'm going through something similar, and I know how brutal it is to wonder about the ex and their life away from you.

Anyways, I thought this might be useful to you; I've been using this line from a corny movie as a mantra for getting through my issues: "Don't imagine anything and you'll be brave as hell". It works.

good luck!